


Breaking L

by AnotherLostSoul



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Kira Wins, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, BDSM, Betrayal, Bittersweet Ending, Body Modification, Bottom L, Brainwashing, Branding and marks, Breaking the human spirit, Breaking the mind and destroying the ego, Collars and Chains, Conditioning, Descent into Madness, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual L/Yagami Light, Execution, Extremely Dubious Consent, Gore, Gratuitous Smut, Healing, Heavy Angst, Hell hath no fury like an L scorned, Hubris, I have a kink for Tortured L, I love seeing the Frog hurt, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Torture, Insanity, Jealousy, Kindness is akin to cruelty sometimes, L ends up a bit like Kao from Togainu no Chi, L has a grudge. Uh Oh., L is taken prisoner, L's loosing the plot, Light calls L his Puppy, Light has a God Complex, Light is a creepy psychopath, Light is a sociopath, Light wants to play dress up with L, Light's blissfully ignorant of the approaching shit storm, Lobotomy, Loss of Virginity, Love kills..., M/M, Mass murder and revenge, Master/Pet, Medical Experimentation, Memory Loss, Mental Anguish, Mental Breakdown, Mind fuckery, Murder, My poor froggy :(, Nipple Piercings, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Not Beta Read, Obsession, Oral Sex, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s), POV L, POV Light, Plots and Conspiracies, Psychological Drama, Rape/Non-con Elements, Reconciliation, Shit's gonna go down, Sorry Not Sorry, Soul-Searching, Stockholm Syndrome, Suicidal Thoughts, THIS IS DARK TWISTED AND KINKY AF, The human mind is a many faceted mirror, The truth shall set you free..., This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, This is not like my other fics, Twisted love, Water Torture, Yandare L, love and hate, sexual exploitation, top Light
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2020-10-29 12:17:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 18
Words: 54,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20796521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnotherLostSoul/pseuds/AnotherLostSoul
Summary: Kira wins and takes L as his prisoner with the soul intention of making L his lover and ruling the world with the former World's Greatest Detective by his side, he just needs to break him a little first...





	1. Only Human

**Author's Note:**

> This is without a doubt the darkest, creepiest, Angst-ridden fic I have ever written. It was inspired by: 
> 
> *A drunken conversation with OneBeautifulNightmare whilst watching 'The Dr of Auschwitz' 
> 
> *A need for more TorturedL in the DN fandom. (There are SO many Light tortured by L fics!) 
> 
> * A private study of Pavlov's dogs and various torture/conditioning techniques both LEGAL and illegal throughout history I am doing as part of my Psychology thesis. 
> 
> Needless to say.. 
> 
> THIS FIC IS DARK. IT IS TWISTED AND NOTHING LIKE MY USUAL FLUFFY FICS. IT WILL CONTAIN RAPE, TORTURE AND PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE AND BRAINWASHING. 
> 
> Consider yourselves warned! Not your cup of tea? RUN! RUN AWAY NOOOOOOOW! 
> 
> As always, please do leave feedback because I greatly appreciate it and it keeps me inspired to write :) 
> 
> Enjoy...? -ALS.
> 
> *This fic will be co-written from chapter 4 onwards, all rape scenes will be written/edited by OBN as well as Light's POV*

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L wakes up to a strange and horrifying new reality as Light's prisoner...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ooooohhh booooi
> 
> It's gonna get Angst up in here... 
> 
> 🤗

L was cold and hungry but he could overlook those things. What he couldn't brush off so easily was his thirst. He had been here (wherever _ here _ was) for two days now and hadn't had anything to drink. In fact, he hadn't actually _ seen _ a living soul and his estimation of two days was based solely on his limited view of the sun from the tiny window in his cell. 

Delirium was setting in and L was getting desperate. He didn't want to lose his mind. He didn't even care about dying now (why should he? Watari was dead and Kira had won so what was the use of even being alive?) but his mind was all he had. If he was to die of dehydration or a heart attack or whatever torture Kira had planned for him, so be it, but he wanted to die as _ himself _not some desperate and delluded prisoner. He still had his pride and it was his only companion as he lay curled up in the darkness waiting to die. 

He had once read dying of thirst was an agonizing way to die. He'd read it whilst sipping on a cup of tea and had flipped the page of his book without much thought… If he wasn't feeling so fucking rotten he would appreciate the irony of this memory. 

L quivered and clutched at his knees. The ache was relentless and his head pounded with each sluggish beat of his heart. He just hoped it would be over soon. He wasn't about to delude himself by dreaming of a better place ahead of him. He didn't believe in God's mercy and the pearly gates of heaven. He just wanted the fucking _ throbbing _ and soul-consuming _ need _for water to stop. 

Distantly he heard a door open but as much as he wanted to, he couldn't lift his head. He simply didn't have the energy to spare. 

"-two days, Mikami! How is this acceptable? How am I supposed to help him when he's like that?"

L tried to swallow. It hurt. Light, no _ Kira _, was talking about him? Help him? It appeared his neglect had not been ordered by Kira which came as something of a surprise. L had assumed he'd just been left to die at Kira's orders… 

"I-I don't know… there must have been a mixup, Kami! I will get him seen to right away!" Mikami babbled as Light glared at him. He'd been busy cementing his power and disposing of the rest of the Task Force. He did _ not _ expect to return to his hideout to find his prized prisoner/enemy/love interest on the cusp of death from dehydration. He had plans for L and right now the thin, shivering man curled up on the cot was as far away from the infuriatingly brilliant Detective L as could be. 

He didn't _ like _seeing L like this. 

Light crossed the small cell, the sound of his expensive Italian leather loafers on the hard tile irritating L's ears. L still didn't look up, even as Light knelt down next to him. 

"L" 

No response. 

"L Lawliet" 

If L had chosen to look up he would have seen a flash of arrogance in Light's eyes and that dark smile as he turned L's only shield against him. 

As it was, L was content to stay exactly as he was and let his consciousness drift. He didn't even stir when Light gripped his head by his hair and lifted it up. 

"... Snap out of it, L" Light commanded as if it would actually do anything. L opened hazy gray eyes and tried to focus on the man in front of him. He heard Light suck in a startled breath before the grip on his hair was released. 

"Mikami. His eyes have changed color" Light's voice sounded strained and somehow _ excited? _

Mikami, who was hurrying forward with a water bottle, stopped in his tracks and bowed. "No, my Kami, he was wearing black contact lenses when he was aprended. His eyes are naturally gray"

Light glanced at L, a wry smile on his face as he inwardly commended L's dedication to remaining anonymous and untouchable. Light eyes (like gray eyes) and light skin were typically the hallmarks of someone with caucasion descent. L had masked one of his features to appear more ethnically ambiguous. Even Light hadn't been sure where the hell 'Ryuzaki' had come from. Eyes were said to be the window to one's soul, and L Lawliet had kept his hidden. Of course he had, it was just one of the things Light admired about his advisory: L was bold enough and _ intelligent _ enough to be able to pull the wool over his eyes. He was the only one who actually _ c _ ould prove a challenge to him. Even now Light was all too aware of the challenge L posed him. Seeing L like this was both thrilling and upsetting to Light. He wanted L to be _ his _ not just his prisoner. 

He was a God and what God's coverted they _ got. _

"Interesting" Light murmured as he held his hand out for the bottle of water. Mikami passed it to him and quickly stepped back. He wasn't sure if his God was angry or amused at the current situation so he decided it was best to step away and observe closely. He was loathe to do anything that would incur his God's wrath. It was obvious to him his Kami had feelings for the detective L. 

"L, I have water for you" 

L shuddered at the words. Kira's voice was so fucking _ soft _ and benevolant. Was he enjoying this? 

_ 'Stupid question. Of course he is' _ L thought as he raised his head tiredly. A pleased smile curled Light's lips and L felt a wave of repulsion sweep through him. 

"Just… kill me… Kira" L rasped out, glaring weakly at Light. He had always prided himself on _ never _giving up but god damn how could he carry on now?

"Oh no, L, I won't be doing that" Light's voice was like silk as he tenderly tilted L's head and pressed the bottle of water to his dry, cracked lips. L flicked his eyes up to Light's before he took a tiny sip. It felt like _ life _ itself as the cool water flooded his parched mouth. "I want you, L. I want to use that phenomenal brain of yours…and I want… " Light appeared as if he had something more he wanted to say, but he let the sentence die as he helped L to take little sips of water. 

_ 'What do you want? You can't actually want _ ** _me_ ** _ can you?' _ L's eyes widened at the thought. He had actually profiled Light as homosexual but he knew Light was so mindful of societies percieved norms and values he was probably _ trying _ to conceal or deny it. As for his own sexuality… Well, L had never really given it much thought. He was _ L _ . Apart from passing admiration for a pretty face in a crowded room L had effectively shut _ those _ sort of feelings off. 

Light's fingers were stroking through his hair and L's breath hitched at the unexpected caress. Perhaps now that he had won and had him locked up he didn't care to deny it anymore? If Light did want him _ that _ way then L knew there was nothing he could do to stop him from doing what he wanted… 

L felt sick. Had he encouraged this attraction somehow? When Light had been released from his cell they had grown fairly close. They'd bathed together and a feeling of tentative friendship had sprung up between them. 

L hated to admit it but he missed that Light. He missed his friend… 

"That's it, try and drink some more" Light cooed, evidently enjoying his role as benevolent captor. 

L felt a rush of bile and jerked his head away from Light before he vomited on the floor, thin shoulders shaking in misery as his body rejected the water meant to save his life. 

"Dammit, L!" Light cursed as he hastily moved away from the vomit. "Mikami, I think he needs to go on a drip or something. Get him moved to the medical room and _ strap _ him down! Even in this state he is more than capable of escape"

L begged to differ. He swayed on his feet as Light and Mikami pulled him up by his arms. The room span sickeningly and all L could do was try and open his eyes. He couldn't even do that. Mikami tightened his grip as his God's prisoner passed out abruptly. 

"I want to know who was responsible for looking after him" Light said darkly, his eyes narrowed in irritation as he stared at the slumped figure in Mikami's arms. "I want their _ names _, Mikami"

"Understood, Kami!" Mikami wet his lips with his tongue, excitement flooding through him. His God was so beautiful when he was wrathful! 

"Good. Make sure he is clean, warm and comfortable before you return to me. And… have a full set of blood work done on him while he's out of it" it was a fancy really but Light wanted to know _ exactly _ where L Lawliet was from. He wanted to know everything about him. He wanted to know how he sounded when he was about to come, but Light figured that would take some time. L would resist him until the very last second but Light as determined to have him. He would break L down and build him back up as Kira's consort. Light had never thought to meet someone who could challenge him, captivate him and infuriate him as much as L Lawliet did. 

There was no way he was simply killing the man. The prizes that were most appreciated were the hardest won. Light wanted L because he wouldn't just spread his legs for him like Misa, Takeda or Mikami would. L would fight him every inch of the way and it would make his eventual domination over him all the sweeter. 

Light couldn't wait for the day when he would pin L beneath him and crumble that damned emotionless mask of his into dust. He would make L sweat and bleed and _ beg _ for him. He'd make L scream with pleasure and whimper in pain and with time, slowly but surely, he'd make L _ his. _

_ XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX_

When L next awoke it was to the sight of Light strolling around the room, clipboard in hand as he read L's medical notes. 

L watched Light as he flicked through his notes, curiosity burning him up. Why was he still alive? Surely Kira would want his nemesis dead… 

"Ah, L, you're awake" Light turned to him with a sunny smile, "How are you feeling?"

L stared at him blankly. "Wonderful" he deadpanned, eyes dropping to his notes in Light's hands and then back to Light's. "Why am I not dead? I _ want _ to be dead, Kira. If you think I'm going to thank you for keeping me alive and become your docile little pet you should think again. I will spend the rest of my life defying you-"

Light chuckled and L stopped in his tracks, startled by the low, rich sound. He'd never heard Light laugh like that before. No, that laugh belonged to _ Kira _ not him. 

"I sincerely hope that is the case, my dear L. Anything less just wouldn't suit you, however I am confident one day you _ will _ join my side and accept Kira's rule"

"Never" L's stormy eyes bored straight into Light's, "That will _ never _ happen, Kira. If that is what you are waiting for you should save yourself the bother and just get it over with" L struggled to sit up and winced when he realised he was hooked up to all manner of machinery. 

Light strode across the room and sat down in the chair next to him with a pleasant smile on his face. 

"Mikami, Misa and Takada are all my lovers, L, did you know that?"

L blinked. No, he had not known that, and he didn't particularly _ care _ either if Kira liked to put it around a bit. "I assure you I couldn't care less" L replied dryly, "So why tell me that?"

Light's smile grew as he leaned forward and picked up one of L's hands in his own. L's eyes widened to the size of saucers when Light lifted his hand and placed a strangely tender kiss to his wrist. 

"I don't want them, L. I want you" Light's breath tickled his skin and L flinched. He tried to pull his hand back but Light's grip was surprisingly strong. Now that his skull wasn't throbbing and he was lucid L immediately began to analyze what Light/Kira had just said. Could he use such feelings to his advantage? 

"You are deluded" L finally whispered, "You are utterly deluded!" 

Light flipped L's hand so he could admire the fine bones of his wrist. "You know, L, I thought you would say something like that. I'm patient and I do believe there is truth to that old saying of good things come to those who wait. I will wait for the day you beg me to take you, because you _ will _"

L let out an amused snort and felt sardonic laughter bubble up from inside him. He had nothing to lose and no need to wear a mask so he let it out and tipped his head back and laughed hysterically as Light gave him a narrowed-eyed stare. Light didn't look annoyed with him, rather he looked curious at drawing forth such a reaction from the usually stoic detective. 

"You… you think that? You actually believe that?" Tears trickled down L's face and he shook his head, shoulders shaking with laughter. "You'd be better off wishing for the moon to fall from the sky! I will _ never _ want you! You disgust me and the only thing I want from you is your death!" L's eyes flashed with fury as he glared at Kira. In that moment he realised his friend was truly dead and gone. The innocence and integrity Light had shown during the Yotsuba investigation had been snuffed out and replaced by unshakable arrogance and entitled. Light really did believe himself to be a God! 

Light let out a soft sigh and placed L's hand back onto the bed. "When I was a little I read a quote that has stayed in my mind. I can't remember what book it was from but the words… the words have stayed with me throughout my childhood and made me who I am"

"Do enlighten me what these prophetic words were" L snarled and jerked his hand away from Light's. Just his touch was enough to make his skin crawl with revulsion. 

"To strengthen and make something anew, sometimes it must be broken first" Light recited. 

L felt a shiver run through him at the cold smile that graced Light's face as his amber gaze burned into him. "I _ am _ going to break you, L Lawliet, and then I am going to build you back up into what _ I _ want you to be. You will be the Consort of Kira and you will need me. I'm going to make you need me"

L swallowed thickly as Light stood and placed his medical records on the bedside table. "You should rest, L, you are going to need your strength. Your… training begins tomorrow"

"Training?! I am not a dog!" L was filled with a desperation to keep Kira talking, to keep him where he could see him. He knew if Kira tried to torture him he stood a far higher chance of withstanding it than most people but he was also all too aware of the fact he was only _ human _… 

"You are whatever I want you to be… " Light laughed with a bright smile, "Puppy"

Feeling sick to his stomach, L could only watch as Light sauntered out of the room (so tall and elegant in his slim-fitted suit) and locked the door behind him. 

L's stomach was rolling with fear and anxiety as his eyes darted around the room. He pinpointed 5 cameras fixed squarely on him. Anything he could use to harm himself or others was stored at a safe distance. He was strapped to the bed and attached to numerous drips and machinery. 

He tried to pull himself free and cried out as a sharp stab of pain smashed through him imbolized him. Breathing harshly through his nose L heard a Metallica sounding voice through the speaker system in the room:

"Do not try and pull yourself free from the equipment you are attached to. Kira-Sama has taken necessary precautions to prevent you from escape. Should you continue to free yourself an electric shock will be administered to render you unconscious"

L, being L, glared at one of the cameras and yanked his arm back with all the strength he had. He barely registered the sting of pain as the cannula attached to his hand ripped out of his skin before a bolt of electricity zapped through the metal restraints pinning him down. 

L was knocked out instantly, just as Light had planned. 

"Stubborn" Light tutted as he turned from the monitor in his office. "Just as predicted. Dr, have you finished compiling the conditioning methods most suitable?"

A thin, nervous looking man eagerly nodded his head and, with bowed head, presented Light with a single piece of paper. 

Light's eyes greedily drank in the words. A full month of painstaking research, tests and profiling had gone into this one piece of paper. 

_ Patient, L Lawliet, is susceptible to the following methods of behavioral correction:_

_ Sensory Deprivation (sight, in particular) _

_ Deprivation of sugar and Caffeine (Patient displays a strong addiction to sugar in particular) _

_ Unwanted physical and sexual contact (Notes indicate patient is a virgin and highly susceptible to sexual manipulation) _

_ Guilt conditioning (Patient has a strong moral ethic and can be made to feel guilty if others (children in particular) are made to suffer because of him) _

_ Water torture/waterboarding_

Light hummed in approval and folded the piece of paper in two before placing it in his Death Note. 

"Excellent work as always, Dr Normans. Arrange a meeting with all appropriate personal to discuss L's training at once. As soon as his condition has stabilized I want him moved to the laboratory to begin"

The Dr bowed his head, a thin smile on his lips.

L Lawliet would prove his greatest challenge yet but he was confident the World's Greatest Detective would crack. 

After all, he was only human...


	2. Dinner Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L struggles to adapt under his increasingly worsening situation and Light delights when L has to be force fed a 'special' meal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Light IS one sick puppy, Folks... 
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: Non-consensual drug use and Force feeding. 
> 
> There's still time to run away screaming, but if you are enjoying be sure to leave me a kudos and comment you brave souls 😂

The next day, L awoke to find himself in a stark white room. He noted the walls were padded and he felt a sharp spike of anxiety run through him. He was in a padded cell. He'd put hundreds of criminals in such places as he had worked to break them… and now it was his turn. Kira had won (oh how L wished he could have turned back the hands of time and stopped Light from touching the Death Note again) his team were dead and he was a prisoner. 

L had done things in his life that had crossed the line from morally ambiguous to downright illegal. He'd hurt as many people as he'd helped in his career as L. Was this payback? He didn't believe in fate or karma but he couldn't help but wonder at the irony of his current predicament. 

L looked down at himself and frowned at the new clothes he was wearing.He was also certain he'd been showered for his hair was no longer matted and he felt clean. He was dressed in comfortable white trousers and a loose gray shirt rather than his usual jeans and shirt. L noted with wry amusement his nails had been trimmed and, as he ran his hand through his hair, he suspected he'd had a hair cut as well. 

Wasn't he a pampered pooch? 

L swallowed down his disgust at that sardonic thought and focussed on assessing his current situation. 

Kira had said something about training beginning today, so L suspected Kira would inflict sophisticated methods of torture upon him to try and break his spirit. He hoped his stubbornness and pride were going to be enough to see him through. They'd got him through many grueling experiences thus far in his relatively short life but… there was something about Kira that frightened him. He saw unbridled lust and madness in Kira's eyes yesterday. Kira was a twenty year old who thought he was an actual God… 

The lights flickered and he flinched as the room was suddenly rendered pitch black. 

The skin on the back of his neck prickled and L curled around himself, ears strained to hear the slightest noise. It wasn't so much the darkness that made him feel on edge it was the faint dripping sound that permeated his mind. Had someone left a tap running somewhere? Now he focused on it that irritating sound seemed deafening. Sat in the dark with nothing to distract him, he found himself fixated on the rhythmic _plop_, _plop, plops_. 

Time passed. The water continued to drip. L found himself anticipating the irritating sound and that just made it worse. 

_"I must distract myself!'_

He tried to sleep but he was too anxious. He tried reciting prose and poetry he had read as a boy but those blasted drops of water dominated his mind. He shivered as he curled himself into a ball. It felt as if the heating had been switched off. Was Light watching him right now? Was Light fucking with his senses and toying with him? 

_'Of course he is! Kira is trying to break me. He won't kill me because he knows that is what I want. He is trying to make me lose my mind! I cannot succumb to him…'_

L let out a deep breath and tried to clear his mind. Just as it seemed to be working and he felt his tense muscles begin to relax, the lights switched back on. L flinched against the harsh light and squeezed his eyes shut. He felt disoriented as the light seemed to grow stronger and stronger until it burned behind his tightly closed eyes. The ever present sound of water dropping onto the floor once again filled his senses. 

To distract himself, L thought back to the various methods of 'coercion' he had either used or come across in his career as a Detective. Sleep deprivation, sensory deprivation, water torture… 

He had had criminals locked up for days and strapped to gurneys as their worst fears were played out before their eyes. He had learned how to pry open the minds of others and bring their inner demons out to play from a young age. People talked when they were afraid and extraction of information was not always pretty. 

Far from it, in fact. 

He knew how effective certain methods could be and it was this first hand experience and knowledge that made him afraid of Kira's plans for him. L was man enough to admit he was rather arrogant (Watari had been the only one to ever say such a thing to his face) but even he doubted his abilities to withstand such torture. He wasn't superhuman and L knew all too well about the physical and psychological limits of the human body. He knew what people could endure and the subtle art of pushing them over the edge. 

But damn if he wasn't going to try! Feeling ashamed of his earlier behaviour, L sat up straight and opened his eyes. The light was near blinding in its intensity but he forced himself to stare straight ahead. He would not give Kira the satisfaction. If all he had was his pride then he would draw strength from it. He had his dignity and that was something Kira could never take away from him… 

The image of that sick smile and those sharp eyes gleaming with lust flashed across L's minds eye and he clenched his hands into fists. The dull pang of pain as his nails dug into the soft flesh of the palms of his hands helped him center himself. 

Dignity. Stoicism. Ego. All he had was his mind and his mind made him who he was:He was L. He might have been defeated but he was not _broken_.

He decided he would do whatever it took to get Kira irritated at him enough to decide he wasn't worth the bother and just kill him. Death was preferable over the prospect of imprisonment and the possibility of insanity as far as L was concerned… 

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX 

Light watched his prisoner with rapt fascination. He could see the struggle for control written all over his face. He expected no less from his advisory and was delighted when L stopped shivering and sat up straight. Those stormy eyes glared defiantly at the camera watching his every move. 

"Light, I just don't understand why you are putting so much time into… whatever you're doing to L!" Misa tugged on his sleeve to try and gain his attention. As usual, she failed. Light's gaze remained fixed on the dark haired young man on the screen. 

"Rehabilitating him, Misa. I am rehabilitating him" Light murmured, eyes drinking in the sight of L as he began to shiver again. He turned the temperature in the cell a few degrees lower. "It will be a long process and it requires my upmost attention. You're distracting me"

Misa pouted. She knew Light wanted the Detective and she hated it. She would have been content to have just a little of Light's heart but she knew she possessed none of it. L, that ungrateful wretch, owned the entirety of it. 

Still. She was Light's occasional lover and she had the eyes. She was useful to him and that made her happy. She could only hope one day Light's obsession with L Lawliet would come to an end. 

It was a vain hope and she knew it. She had said, way back in the beginning when she had met Light, she was content for him to use her and she still was. All she wanted was to be close to him even though he hurt her daily. 

"Those eyes are very pretty" Light commented softly, leaning forward and panning the camera in on L's face. "Very pretty indeed…" Light's voice was breathy with desire and longing.

Misa's lip curled in irritation and she turned on her heel. She didn't want to hear Light complimenting him. 

"I will write those names for you, Light" Misa whispered softly before she closed the door behind her. Light hadn't even noticed she'd left. 

Light sat back in his chair and pressed a button on his desk. At once Takada's gentle voice answered. 

"Yes, Light? Is there anything I can do to assist you?"

"Yes, Kiyomi. I want you to go down to L's cell and bring him something to eat and drink. Ensure it is laced with my drug patent, I'm curious to see its effects on him"

"At once, Light. If he refuses to eat or drink?"

Light smiled at the question. "He won't since he is in denial. He will eat and drink to maintain his strength and the drug is extremely hard to detect, even for someone like him. However, if he _does _decide to be stubborn and refuse you are authorized to force feed him. I need him to eat and I want to monitor the drugs effects on him first hand" Light cut off Kiyomi and paced the office in excitment. Finally his hard work was paying off. It had been frustrating, sneaking off to meet Dr Normans and work on his invention in between the Kira case, but he knew it would all be worth it in the end. 

Next, Light summoned Dr Normans to him to discuss Nathran B, the drug both he and the Dr had been working on for the last six months. It was a psyco-active drug designed to emphasize and enhance a person's sensitivity to fear. The drug also had the desirable side effect of making the user more submissive and amiable. Light had known from the instant the Dr had suggested it L would be the perfect guinea pig. If it worked on a mind as phenomenal and exceptional as L's it could work on anyone. He could have the drug spread across the globe in weeks and create a legion of followers. Yes, he wanted his followers to come to him with pure faith in Kira but he was a practical god and he knew it was prudent to have a backup plan. While it was true many countries were bowing down to his rule there was still staunch opposition to Kira. Light would silence that opposition once and for all. 

Ryuk had decided to eavesdrop on the meeting and was cackling with excitement as Light and The Dr discussed L's 'training' Ryuk couldn't wait to sit in on some of these training sessions and even he was shocked at the depravity Light was capable of. 

When the kid had picked up his Death Note Ryuk had no idea he would prove this entertaining! 

"And once he is fully conditioned to my liking? Will his memories of who he was be likely to resurface?"

The rat-like man giggled and shook his head emphatically. "Oh, no, Kami-Sama! I assure you L Lawliet's knowledge of his prior life will be completely eradicated. He will be filled with the unshakeable conviction that he exists solely to serve you"

Light felt a simmer of heat warm him at those words. L existing solely to serve and worship _**him**_. Yes, that is exactly how it should be. That was L's destiny- to be his beloved pet! 

XxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxX 

L jerked awake at the sound of the door opening. He was pleasantly surprised he'd managed to fall asleep in the first place, but his pleasure at being able to overcome the irritation of that blasted tap was quashed at the sight of the tall, elegant woman walking towards him. 

Takada Kiyomi. One of Kira's little pets. 

L refused to look away from her as she smiled at him and gestured to a tray of food. 

"Our lord thought you might be hungry, L" Kiyomi's bell-like voice rang out smoothly, "You should eat something"

'It's been drugged. There is a 97% probability of it…' L flicked his eyes to the tray and then lifted them to the woman's haughty looking face. But… he was hungry and he needed to eat if he was to keep his strength up…

Torn, L did nothing as Kiyomi placed the tray in front of him. If he ate the food he ran the risk of imbibing god knows what. If he didn't eat it willingly he knew there was a high chance he would be made to… 

"Your food is getting cold" Kiyomi said cooly, "You should be grateful Kira-Sama has spared you and is providing for you" she added, irritation bleeding into her tone as the stubborn bastard continued to sit and stare at her. 

L tilted his head. Grateful? Is that what he should be feeling? _**Gratitude**_?! His lips curled into a smile as Kiyomi's words helped him make his decision. Fuck Kira. If he wanted him to eat then he would have to make him do it. Even if it was painful and traumatic, L decided the satisfaction of rebelling against Kira would be worth it. 

"I'm not hungry. I will not eat that" L pushed the tray away from him and smiled at Takada, "Please tell 'Your Lord his hospitality is appauling and I would prefer to starve than eat his more than likely drugged food. Thanks"

L felt a flicker of delight at the annoyance that flashed in those cool blue eyes.

"If you do not eat willingly I have been authorized to have you bound and force fed" Kiyomi snapped, "it would be in your best interests to obey in this matter, Lawliet"

L gave an exaggerated shrug. "I'm not very good at following orders, Miss Takada. My apologies"

"Very well. Guards!"

The door opened and two well-built men dressed in crimson and black combat gear entered. L figured each of them had at least 20 kilos on him and behind their masks their faces looked grim and set in determination. Quick as a flash, L's tireless brain predicted he had less than a 3% chance of avoiding eating that food if these men restrained him. 

"Subdue him and ensure he eats every single bit" Kiyomi ordered briskly.

They advanced but L made no effort to move (not that he could go far, one of his wrists were connected to a cuff that was fixed solidly to the wall behind him) and waited. As soon as one of them were within range, L slipped off the bed and kicked the man right between the legs. 

"Shit! Aaaah! Bastard! Fucking! Aaaaaahhhh!"

L had the briefest moment to grin in satisfaction (because he was certain he'd ruptured something) before he found himself slammed back against the wall by his shoulders and a taser pressed to his chest. 

"That was a remarkably stupid thing to do!" The guard snarled before jamming the taser into his chest. L spasmed and gasped for breath as all of his senses spiraled beyond his control.

When he came back around it was to the sight of four guards looming over him. 

_'Aw, fuck!'_ Was all L could think as one of them grabbed him by the hair and tilted his head back. Food was shoved into his mouth and L prepared to spit it out. He was stopped from doing this, however, when a large hand wrapped around his throat and squeezed. 

Eyes watering with the effort, L tried to override his bodies natural urge to swallow. Tears streamed down his face and his lungs burned with the effort but eventually his traitorous body gave way and he gulped the mouthful of food down. 

"That's better" Kiyomi trilled sweetly, "What a stubborn _pup_ you are!"

"Mmphh!" L gurgled his outrage around his mouthful of food at that term of address. It made his blood turn to ice in his veins. Is that what Kira wanted from him? Blind obedience and dog-like devotion? Was he really that sick?! 

"Swallow it!"

L swallowed. 

Light, meanwhile, was smirking in satisfaction at the sight of his beloved being force fed. L's stubbornness was something he would sorely miss so he was making the most of it. 

Ryuk was watching in rapt fascination, a demonic grin splitting his face as L tried to bite the fingers of one of the men forcing food down his throat. "Heh, you're dog bites, Lighto!"

"Indeed" Light chuckled darkly as L was tased again, "But his bark is worse than his bite. He looks docile enough now" Light jutted his chin towards the monitor at a slumped L. 

"You're one sick puppy, Light" Ryuk shook his head in delight. Light raised an eyebrow at the pun before climbing to his feet, excitement etched across his face. 

"He's finished eating. Let's go, Ryuk, and see how he responds to the drug!"

Ryuk eagerly followed Light as he strode out of his office and began his descent down the labyrinthine corridors to the laboratories. While Ryuk didn't claim to understand the boring sciencey stuff Light and that Dr were always talking about he was excited at the prospect of witnessing the drugs effects on someone as proud as L Lawliet. 

'_I never would have dreamed this was how the battle between you and L would end up, Light! You really know how to entertain a Shinigami!'_

Light scanned himself into the secure facility and smiled thinly as his guards dropped i nto bows. L was already looking flushed and dazed, his gray eyes wide and unfocused. 

"Hello, L" Light purred in greeting, "How was your meal?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> .... And Now I am going off to write some soul-cleansing sweet as sugar FLUFF! I NEED it!! 😱


	3. Kissing Kira

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kira finds and exploits a weakness of his captive and L becomes a guinea pig for Kira's patented drug, Nathran B.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From the next chapter onwards this fic will be a Collaboration with OBN. She will be writing Light scenes and the squicky rape stuff. Expect it to get a LOT darker next chapter onwards 😱

L's vision swam as he squinted up at Light. 

_'Knew it… drugged…'_ he felt sluggish and strangely calm, even as Light knelt down next to him and cupped his cheek. L would have liked to have jerked his head back and headbutted the bastard but all he could do was struggle to maintain focus as Light's long fingers stroked his face reverently. 

Kiyomi, displaying the same silent disapproval and distaste Misa had for her God's desire for L Lawliet, silently excused herself with a deep bow and left the room. 

"His eyes are extremely dilated and his skin's flushed. Dr, please take his temperature and check his vital signs" Light's attention was, of course, fixed solely on L and he didn't even see Kiyomi and the guards leave the room. The guards lingered outside the room, ready and waiting should they be needed to protect their God and subdue the prisoner. 

Dr Normans beamed at his God and rushed forward before caution came over him. This prisoner had already completely ruptured the testicles of one of the guards and even drugged he commanded respect. L Lawliet still possessed his fangs (and legs!) and until his Lord's work was complete he needed to be careful around him. 

L couldn't move his head and grit his teeth in annoyance as Light continued to stare at him and sigh adoringly. It was sickening! Light's eyes shone with delusion and love for him. L would much prefer to see bitter hatred in those sharp amber eyes. 

"That's it. There's a good boy" Light cooed as L flinched but didn't move away from the Dr's probing. L dropped his eyes to the syringe in his arm and swallowed thickly at the sight of his blood filling the vials. What were they going to do to him? Did he want to know or was ignorance bliss in this circumstance? 

"Look at me, L." 

L tiredly lifted his eyes back to Kira's face. For some reason he felt compelled to follow the bastard's orders and there was nothing he could do to prevent it! He could only wonder with a deep sense of foreboding what manner of drug he'd been given. 

"Tell me how you're feeling" Light's voice was soft and calming and despite himself L felt soothed by it. 

"Numb" L slurred out, tongue feeling fat and heavy in his mouth.

"He isn't fighting the effects and he appears to be compelled to obey you" Dr Normans gibbered excitedly, "Heart rate is slightly elevated and his temperature is normal" 

Light finally released his hold on L's cheek but he didn't draw away from him. He continued to kneel next to L and ran critical eyes over him. L was shaking and the disorientation was clear as his pupils struggled to focus. 

"Do you hate me, L?" Light asked kindly. L's jaw tensed and he gave a swift nod, wincing as though it pained him. "Do you? I don't want you to hate me, L. Tell me you don't hate me"

The words were cloyingly sweet and L bit down on his tongue. He wanted to say those words! 

"Say it" Light smiled, all bright eyes and perfect, white teeth. 

"I… I don't… I don't" L squeezed his eyes shut and bit down harder on his tongue. The words were burning on his tongue and demanding to be spoken. He had to obey! He had to say them! "I don't hate you" L gasped, tears trickling from his eyes as absolute misery engulfed him. It was like he was trapped inside his own mind. He could think for himself but his body was no longer his to command. 

"I know, Darling" Light leaned forward and pressed a chaste kiss to his prisoner's face. "I know all about you as well. You're 22 years old and have mixed heritage. Russian, Japanese, English and French! Your blood type is O and you are mildly anemic"

L dearly wished he could muster the energy to give Light that headbutt. The smug bastard was grinning at him as prattled on about his new found knowledge. L felt sick that Light even knew such things about him in the first place… 

"What else have I discovered about you?" Light continued to talk to distract L from the Dr's actions. The Dr was about to take a bone marrow sample and Light knew the experience would be far from pleasant. "You have size 9 feet and you're surprisingly well built. Lovely lithe muscles and… other attributes, you have, L" Light leered at L as those big gray eyes narrowed in anger. "You've got a birthmark shaped like the crescent moon on your lower back. Yes, I've seen you naked. I bathed you"

'He… he bathed me? He's… he's ogled me while I was unconscious? What a creepy asshole!' L was so stunned he nearly missed the sharp sting of pain as the Dr's thick needle bore down straight into his shin bone. 

"Aaah!" L tried to flinch away and kick that bastard in the face but found himself effectively pinned as Light wrapped his arms around him and clutched him tightly. 

"Easy now, L, it will be over soon" Light's soft words sounded in his ear and L let out a faint whimper at the sensation of hot breath ghosting across the sensitive skin of his ear. 

"Hate you" L mumbled into Light's shoulder, "I… hate… you"

A gleam of displeasure darkened Light's eyes and he gently pushed L away from him but maintained a strong grip on his shoulders. As if scolding a disobedient child, Light tsked and shook his head. "That's very bad of you, L. No sugar for you today" 

L let out a whimper. No sugar? He hadn't had sugar in days! He needed it! 'No! I will not beg. I will not give him that' L shifted his eyes from Light's and trained his gaze on the floor. He would pick his battles carefully. 

Light leaned towards him and L tensed up. "However, I might give you a little sugar if you give me some" Light whispered. 

L's eyes widened with shock as he felt the briefest brush against his lips. Light was so close to him that he could feel the heat on his skin and smell the fresh scent of his cologne. 

"Wh-what?" L managed to squeak out. By this point the Dr had secured all the samples he needed and had retreated to the corner of the room to begin whatever tests he was conducting. L felt trapped as Light caught his head between the palms of his hands and brushed his lips against his again. Oh how he wanted to bite… 

"Kiss me, L" Light whispered huskily, "Kiss me and I will give you all the sugar you want"

Bribery. L felt his stomach roll with revulsion as his body ached to obey. It would be so easy to just lean in and press his lips to Light's… 

_'No! No, no, no! Never! I will not!'_

Drawing on all of his inner strength, L reared back and spat straight at Kira's face. "Fuck you, Kira!" L snarled, his heart beating wildly in his chest as he saw how furious Kira looked. He slowly reached up to his face and wiped away the glob of spit, eyes scorching as he maintained eye contact with his rebellious prisoner. 

_'I must be patient. It will be worth it when he's mine_' Light reminded himself. With great self control he forced himself to calm down and not retaliate. He wouldn't strike L yet. He had other (more effective) means of getting his stubborn pup to obey his master. Besides he had only had his first dose of the drug. Light was hopeful for a marked improvement in his behaviour by the end of the week. 

"You will regret that, L. No sugar for a week. No Light. You will sit here in the dark and be force-fed until I return to you and by the time I come back you will kiss me… or I will take whatever I want from you"

_'Take whatever he wants?'_ L's eyes widened with panic at the words. Light wasn't even threatening him, no, he was stating a fact. 

L felt cold panic wash over him as Light stood up and dusted off his impeccable grey suit. Light straightened his tie and smiled pleasantly at the Dr. "I leave him in your capable hands for a week, Ian"

The Dr bowed his head. "I will continue treatment as ordered, Kira-Sama. I wish you a successful trip!"

L felt curiosity bite. Where was Kira going? And why? 

Light, who had been turning to leave, turned back to L with a sickly sweet smile. An idea popped into his mind and he strode over to where L still lay curled up on the ground. Perhaps he would have his kiss today after all. 

"Oh, I didn't tell you, did I? I've found out about your little heirs, L. Mihael kheel, Nate River and Mail Jeevas…"

"No!" L's voice broke in desperation as he tried to lurch forward. "Don't hurt them! Please!"

'_Ahhh I've found a weakness. Those brats can be used against him just as Ian said.' _

"Kira! I will… I will obey you if no harm comes to them" L swallowed down a wave of nausea and turned pleading eyes to Light. He felt disgusted at himself. He was begging Kira but what else could he do? He had to try and save his brothers. 

"I will be razing Wammy's House to the ground. My new world does not need a little hive of future L's contaminating it. When I capture those three I will be bringing them back with me. Whether they live or not depends on your behaviour, L. Now… how about that kiss?"

L sucked in a deep breath to try and steady himself before he gave a jerky nod of his head. He'd do it for them. He'd suck the monster's cock and utterly debase himself for his brothers if he had to. 

Light smiled in triumph and ordered L to stand. L's legs wobbled as if protesting but he managed to get up off the floor and walk the four steps the chain would allow to stand next to Light. His stomach churned as Light smiled down at him and cupped his cheek in his hand. L closed his eyes and willed himself not to vomit as he felt soft lips on his. He obediently opened his mouth when he felt Light's tongue push against his lips. L was horrified to realize this was his first kiss and that it felt good. He felt shivers of warm tingles sweep through him as Light's tongue explored his mouth. All too soon Light had pulled away and L felt a deep sense of shame at his disappointment. 

"You will kiss me back, L" Light tutted, "I assume you know how to kiss?" Light snickered at the angry/embarrassed flush that spread across L's face. "Perhaps not. You put your tongue in my mouth and copy what I'm doing. I've seen you tie cherry stems in knots, L, I know how talented you are"

L flinched as Light's fingers grazed his cheek. He looked at him expectantly. L knew then that he would have to be the one to instigate the kiss. L brought his hand up to Light's neck and pulled his head down a little to reach his lips. He pressed his lips against Light's as he repeated 'Do not be sick. Do not bite. Think of the boys' as a desperate litany in his mind. 

He felt Light's lips curl into a pleased smile before that sly tongue was in his mouth again, mouths moving gently together as Light brought up a hand to cup the nape of his neck. L hesitantly moved his tongue against Light's and felt a spark of arousal. It was so unexpected and terrifying his whole body froze in confusion. 

"Mmm, you liked that. I can tell" Light whispered against his trembling lips before he kissed deeper, tongue mapping L's mouth and arms circling around his waist to draw him closer. L copied whatever Light did to him, caught in a web of desperation as he felt his body respond to the increasingly deep and passionate kisses. 

When it finally ended L stumbled back from Light, flushed and panting for breath. 

The Dr, who had been watching the interaction with cold, clinical interest chuckled to himself and made another note on L's file: Patient is sexually attracted to Kira-Sama but has no concept on how to accept these feelings without feeling guilt. 

"I will see you in a week, L. Be a good boy" Light had the audacity to actually reach out and pat L's head. L gritted his teeth but did not protest as he felt those arrogant eyes linger on his kiss swollen lips. 

Light's dark smile chilled L to the bone as the 'God' turned away from him and walked out of the room. L had been so caught up in the alien act and the strange sensations of kissing he'd actually forgotten the Dr was still present. He retreated to his corner and curled up, watching what the Dr was doing intently. 

'He's profiling me. Studying me' L thought as the Dr glanced at him with vaguely interested eyes before scribbling something else down. 

L closed his eyes and rested his head on top of his knees. Revulsion and despair ate away at him as he remembered how much he had liked that kiss. He was sick. Kira was sick and this entire situation was getting increasingly worse by the hour. Now that he knew his heirs would be used against him how could he hope for death? If he was dead there would be no one to protect them. What if Kira killed them anyway? 

His heart ached and L felt tears sting his eyes. They fell down his face as he cried silently, his tortured mind offering him bittersweet comfort as he thought of the home that was soon to be destroyed. 

L thought about walks in the woods, drinking hot chocolate with Mr Wammy and the first day he had met his three precious heirs. A sob caught in his throat and a delluge of pentup emotion smashed through the dam of his stoicism. He burst into tears and sobbed loudly, uncaring of the Dr's cold blue eyes trained on him. 

_'Watari, I am so sorry! I'm so sorry!'_

Dr Ian Norman simply smiled at the sobbing young man and added another note: 

_Patient is responding just as predicted. Ability to control emotions is being reduced by the Nathran B. Will continue with observations whilst increasing dose as per Kira-Sama's instructions. _

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

"Mello! Don't!" Matt cried as Mello (his brave, stupid best friend) tried to take a swing at one of the guards pinning him to the floor. 

Matt was smart enough to realize the only thing he would achieve by lashing out was wasting his own energy. Kira and his forces had stormed Wammy's House and massacred everyone in sight. The children, Roger and even the domestic staff. He, Mello and Near were the only survivors. 

Matt watched as the one called Kira strolled around the room as if he owned it, picking up photo frames and little trinkets, examining them, and then placing them back down. 

"Where are you keeping L? Is he alright?" Matt asked as the wannabe God's eyes fell on him. 

"What makes you think I have L?"

"The fact that you are here. L would never willingly betray the location of Wammy's House" a sudden realization hit him and Matt felt tears in his eyes. L was being tortured… 

"True. He mumbled 'Wammy's' in his drugged stupor and it didn't take me long to locate this charming L factory" Light's lips parted into a nasty smile, "You're a smart boy, Mail. Do you know why I am allowing you to live?"

Matt nodded his head with weary resignation. Like L, he picked his battles carefully. They had sedated Mello and Near and he planned on keeping Kira's attention on him as best he could. At least with Kira talking to him his brother's were (relatively) safe. 

"You plan on using us to blackmail him" Matt answered woodenly "You… you want him, don't you?" Matt was certain he hadn't imagined that glimmer of lust in Kira's eye as he mentioned L's name. 

"I already have him" Light sat down in Roger's chair and relaxed against the soft leather. "Your life depends on his behavior and I'm afraid I should probably warn you he is rather stubborn so… "

Matt smiled thinly. He was ironically amused at the playful tone in Kira"s voice. If Kira thought he could frighten him he was in for a shock. He was a Wammy's Orphan. He was bred to have steel in his soul, just like L was. "Guess we're fucked then" Matt shrugged his shoulders and smiled back challengingly, "It's a shame you thought you could try and scare us by threatening to kill us. There are far worse things than death, you know"

Light's eyes gleamed as he nodded his head. "There are indeed, Mail, and your dear L will be experiencing many of them before his rehabilitation is complete"

"His rehabilitation?" Matt's voice broke with barely suppressed emotion, "There is nothing wrong with him! He does not need to be rehabilitated!"

Light ignored the Redhead boy and lost himself in pleasant daydreams of L wearing his collar and pawing at him for attention.It was imperative that he maintained L's current level of intelligence and he wanted his special pet to be be able to assist him in his rule without even thinking about overriding his instructions. L was to be his loyalist of subjects… his beautiful little lap dog. 

Light finally replied,"To strengthen and make something anew, sometimes it must be broken first…"

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx 

L stopped resisting on the fourth day. His throat was raw from screaming and the rough insertion of food.

A dull sense of calmness and acceptance spread throughout him as he nibbled on a piece of bread. He knew it was drugged yet he couldn't find the energy to care. The Dr was with him, as he had been the previous four days, but L didn't care about that either. He just wished someone would turn on the lights. 

He figured the Dr was viewing him through a pair of night vision goggles or something, as the man seemed perfectly able to write in that damned notebook of his. 

"How are you feeling today, L?"

L continued to chew on his mouthful of bread as he considered his response. Yesterday he had answered that question with a sarcastic "Fucking fantastic, thank you" and the day before that he vaguely recalled telling the Dr to 'Suck his dick' but today… 

Today he felt no fight within him. He thought of his brothers and held his tongue. They were probably on their way to Japan by now. 

"How are you feeling today, L?" The Dr repeated. 

"Hollow" L finally answered in a voice that sounded alien to his ears. "I feel Hollow"

The Dr made a small 'Hmm' noise before he returned to his writing. L wrapped his arms around his knees and bowed his head.

Time passed and his day was marked solely by his bodily needs. He was escorted to the bathroom at regular intervals and stared up at the fluorescent light each time he went. He wished he could take that light with him. He showered in the evening and brushed his teeth before changing into the set of gray (his capt or appeared to like him wearing the color) pyjamas Kira had given him. Then it was time to go back into his dark cell, lay down on the cot and pray for death to take him…


	4. Blackmail

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kira flaunts his new control over L by threatening his heirs to get what he wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been written by myself (OneBeautifulNightmare) and AnotherLostSoul. We have worked hard to blend our writing styles together and I really hope it has turned out alright. Please leave some feedback and let us know. Thank you! 
> 
> This fic will be a little slower to update as ALS is working on Deathnotetober as well so please bear with us.

It was day… something when Kira finally returned to his cell. L looked up from the bowl of (unsweetened, of course) porridge he was playing with rather than eating when Kira appeared. 

"Here I was thinking you'd gotten bored of me" L deadpanned. "How I wish that was the case"

Light smiled at the spark of defiance. It seemed even after ten days and a diet of virtually no sugar L Lawliet was still stubbornly resisting him. He was pleased. He knew from the beginning that L would never be an easy victory. To conqueror L would be a God-like feat in itself. 

"Never, my lovely L. You're just so fascinating how could I ever possibly tire of you? Now you really should eat that porridge instead of toying with it"

"It's a little too early in the morning to be imbibing drugs, thank you" L replied petulantly as he pushed the bowl away from him. By his estimation he'd already lost six or seven pounds he could ill-afford to loose at the best of times. Still though... He had his pride. It was all he had. 

"If you won't eat it perhaps I should give it to Mail or Nate? With a dash of Arsenic added?"

L flinched at the threat and slowly pulled his bowl back to him. He shoved a spoonful of the bland mush into his mouth and forced himself to chew and swallow. 

"Wonderful" Kira beamed, "You need to eat, L, you're so skinny! Perhaps if you are a good boy I will lift the sugar ban, hmm?"

_'If I'm a good boy. Urgh, he makes me want to vomit'_ L thought, his stomach churning as he forced another spoonful of porridge down. He had to admit though that the prospect of eating some sugar sounded so wonderful. How long had it been since he'd last had some? Ten days? Two weeks? He wasn't sure. Time was slipping from him and the monotony of his daily routine was making it increasingly difficult to keep track. 

L ate the bowl of porridge and felt the familiar haziness fall over him. It appeared Kira had either upped the dose or he was becoming more sensitive to it. 

"I heard you were a good boy and had a nice bath earlier. You even let them shave you which I am most pleased about. I don't want a single hair on your body except for your head"

L pulled a face at that. Who the hell did Light think he was to dictate his body hair? And why was he talking down to him like he was a child. The last L had heard he was Light's senior by two years, not the other way around. 

"Yes, you've certainly earned some sugar later" Light nodded as if extremely pleased. "You've been my guest two weeks, L, did you know that?"

L arched an eyebrow at the use of 'guest' "_Prisoner_, you mean" 

Light rolled his shoulders in an elegant shrug. "If you like. One day you will be my consort"

"Over my dead body" L hissed, panic rising within him at such a vile thought. 

"Hmm. We will see about that. Anyway, I came here to discuss the terms for our little deal. Your heirs will remain unharmed, given adequate food and water and will be kept healthy. In return: you are to eat all the food provided for you, continue to bath and allow yourself to be shaved. You are to obey Dr Normans commands and naturally you are to obey me. Do you understand, L?"

L was reminded of when he was a little boy. Watari had murmured how love always seemed to make a bad matter worse after a particularly gruesome crime of passion in the newspaper. Love complicated things. When feelings were involved rationality went out the window…

"I… I understand" the drugs were making him hazy and compliance suddenly seemed like the only option. Light's smile was inordinately pleased as he stood up and beckoned L to him with a crooked finger. 

"Crawl" Light commanded when L Wearily climbed to his feet. 

"What?!" L spluttered in outrage. 

"Are you forgetting your promise to be obedient so soon, L?" Kira's voice was faintly mocking. 

L glared at Light before he sank down to his knees and (god it was humiliating) crawled towards him. 

"Good boy, L!" Light's next actions sent a chill down L's spine: his hands went to his belt and began to unbuckle it. At the sound of his zipper opening cold fear swept through L. 

_'Oh no. Please no… I can't. I cant-'_

"I want you to suck me, L. Don't even think about trying to bite or hurt me or I will have Mello's cock hacked off and serve it to you for lunch"

L knew it wasn't an idle threat. Kira had gone mad with power. Anything he wanted to do would be done without a seconds thought. 

"I've… I've never" L gulped as he watched Light pull his semi-hard cock out of his slacks. It was big. The familiar stirring of fear washed over him as Light took himself in hand and with a few tugs brought himself to full hardness. 

"I know, My pet, but you have such a talented mouth. I believe you will be a natural at this" Light released his cock and smirked at L. "Enough stalling. Show me what that sweet mouth can do"

L licked his lips in nervousness. His main objectives were the following: to avoid vomiting, to resist the urge to bite and thirdly to get Kira to come as fast as possible. Unable to suppress his shudders and utter revulsion, L tentatively shuffled closer and reached for the stiff rod between Light's legs. 

L frowned at the feel of it. The skin was stretched taut and it was almost silky to the touch. The throbbing he felt was a bit repulsive and the sheer size of the thing was intimidating. 

"L…"

L glanced up at Light. It seemed waiting was not something he was very good at. L returned his gaze to the cock in front of him and sighed. He could do this. He had to do this. 

He tentatively gave the head a little lick and tried not to recoil at the bitter tang of salt. Light's breath hitched (a positive indication) so L did it again. 

He felt fingers slide through his hair to cup the base of his skull in a surprisingly tender hold. "That's good, L, that feels really mmm… really good"

L tongued the small slit and discovered the saltiness he could taste was Light's precome. Perhaps that meant he was already quite close to climax. L could only hope. He took the swollen head and glands into his mouth and sucked gently. The fingers tightened in his hair. 

"More…"

L swallowed and took a little more into his mouth. He repeated the mantra of 'do not vomit' over and over as he felt the hot, throbbing flesh lay heavily against his tongue. He stroked little patterns into the skin and concentrated on licking the vein. Kira seemed to like that because he let out a strangled breath and canted his hips to push more of himself into L's mouth. 

L's eyes widened as tears leaked out of them. He hadn't been expecting that! He gagged around the cock and struggled against his panic. He couldn't breath! 

"Fuck!" Light cursed and snapped his hips forward, the convulsing and gagging of L's throat feeling spectacular against his cock. 

"Mppph!" L scratched at Light's thigh in panic, his eyes enormous and terrified as he tried desperately to signal he couldn't breath!

Light had no sympathy and continued to slam his hips, his balls slapping against L's chin as he face-fucked him violently. "Breath through… your nose" Light snapped out as black spots danced across L's vision. "Fucking take my cock, L, your mouth feels so good!"

L sucked in as much oxygen as he could through his nose and forced himself to relax and take Kira's cock. He had to keep swallowing down dribbles of precome and with each sharp thrust into his mouth he prayed it would be the last, that this nightmare could end. 

"Gonna come!"

_'Thank god!_' L moaned at Light's warning and sucked as hard as he could. Now that he was expecting the deep lunges in and out of his mouth he found it easier to relax his throat and didn't gag as much. 

"Ah! Fuck, L! I'm gonna come. Swallow it!"

L's stomach churned as the cock fucking his mouth suddenly siezed and throbbed. He tasted the first bitter burst of fluid but was so stunned he simply couldn't swallow. Light's fingers were claws in his hair and L couldn't stop the tears falling from his eyes. Light was coming and coming and he couldn't swallow it. He didn't want Light's essence inside him! 

His cheeks bulged with fluid but still L refused to swallow. Light glanced down at him and smirked at the sight. 

"Swallow it!" Light barked out, shudders running through him at how fucking good that had been. Just as he expected L's oral skills had been impressive and With practice, Light was certain they would be exceptional. Light let out a pleased laugh as he felt L gulp his come down. He had never felt more like a God than he did in this moment. 

L slumped to the ground and wrapped an arm around his stomach as he heaved. Light felt a pang of sympathy and knealt by the heaving, trembling man. 

"I know that wasn't easy for you, L. It will get better, I promise. You did so well. Tell me what you want and you will have it"

L sniffled as his heaving finally subsided. He hated it but Light's warm hand stroking his back actually did help him relax… L didn't answer Light. He wanted anything with sugar in it but he'd be damned if he said that. It would make him feel too much like a whore. Sugar in return for services rendered… 

L swallowed thickly, his mouth tasting bitter. "I want to brush my teeth" he whispered hoarsely. 

Light blinked at him in surprise. He had honestly expected L to demand a strawberry shortcake or something. Still, it was early days and L (for all of his stubbornness) was responding very well to his rehabilitation. 

"I will see to it that you are permitted to brush your teeth" Light zipped his slacks back up and rose to his feet. He wanted to say something else but closed his mouth. It was probably better to leave L alone for now. He would visit him again tomorrow. 

Light turned and left the room, but not before ordering L's guards to allow him to brush his teeth. 

L brushed his teeth and used the toilet. He refused a shower and returned to his cell. A huge strawberry short cake was waiting for him on his bed. L's mouth watered at the sight of it. 

It had been so long since he'd last had sugar… 

_'This is Kira's way of paying his whore. I cannot eat it' _

L, as if in a daze, walked slowly over to the cake and picked it up. He looked straight into the camera before flinging the cake against the wall. He watched it slide down the stark white wall with grim fascination. The strawberry sauce looked like blood. 

With his 'gift' rejected, L crawled into bed and pulled the duvet over his head. Alone in the dark he gave way to silent tears, the smell of sugar in his nose and the bitter taste of come, Kira's come, still in his mouth... 


	5. Tea Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light decides to let L see his heirs. L discovers the simple pleasure of disobeying Light, even if it does involve sacrificing cake.

L forced his eyes to open. He felt terribly languid, almost relaxed, and he struggled to return to consciousness. It was day… something, and he had awoken to Kira smiling down at him and stroking a thumb down his prominent cheekbones. 

"Good morning, L, you've been sleeping so peacefully for the last hour and I just had to sit here and watch you"

_'Creepy bastard_' L thought as he struggled against his lastitude. Through sheer will and stubbornness he kept his eyes open and sat up in bed. He stared at Kira warily, wondering why he had come to visit him so early. Kira never visited him in the morning. 

"What do you want, Kira" L mumbled. His throat felt raw and he felt dizzy. Was it the drugs? 

"Have a drink" Light passed him a plastic beaker. Of course it was plastic. Wouldn't risk him smashing it and shoving a piece of glass in his jugular, L thought as he accepted the beaker and drank deeply. It didn't even matter if it was drugged or not anymore. Everything was fucking drugged.

"Better?" Light sounded almost considerate as he accepted the empty beaker back. 

L didn't bother answering. 

"Anyway, I thought you might like a visit with your heirs. You can see for yourself that they are being kept well. Would you like that, L?"

L hesitantly nodded his head. 

"Good. You will go for your shower, permit yourself to be shaved, take your… medication and dress appropriately. Then you will return to this cell. Do you understand?"

Again, L nodded his head. He'd let them shave whatever the fuck they wanted to if it meant he got to see the boys. 

"Good boy" Light cooed and stroked L's cheek. L flinched but did not pull away. "Go and get ready. I will be overseeing your move into a more comfortable cell"

L looked up to see the figures of four hulking guards at the door. He climbed out of bed and walked towards them. He didn't look at Kira as he walked away with the guards. He would play ball and act the quiescent prisoner as long as he got to see the boys. 

Light sighed and shook his head. "Stubborn pup" he looked around L's cell and wasn't surprised in the least to find it neat and tidy. L had virtually done nothing but lie in his bed and stare at the wall. He didn't like seeing L so depressed. He knew it was a necessity, but still…

'_Hopefully he will eat a bit of cake and appreciate time with his heirs. They start on their rehabilitation treatment today. They're simply too valuable to waste by executing them. By the time L is conditioned they should be well on their way to being valuable assets to Kira's new world as well_'

Light rang Mikami to relay his orders and occupied himself with writing down names until a clean, freshly showered but sullen L was escorted into the room. 

"Lovely" Light complimented, his eyes running over L's body. He'd worn the dark gray cashmere jumper and slacks Light had picked out for him but Light was amused to note the shoes he'd provided were not on L's feet. "Did you forget your shoes?"

L winced. "Shoes make me uncomfortable… do I have to wear them?" It hurt, having to appeal to Light's better nature (he would not call it begging) but he really didn't want to have to endure shoes on top of everything else… 

_'I suppose a bit of honey helps to catch more flies'_ Light thought as he shook his head. "No, you don't have to wear them, L. Now do I need to have you cuffed and escorted or will you walk nicely?" 

L kept his face poker straight as he replied he would walk. He wouldn't cause any trouble but he would take the opportunity to scan the area for any exploitable weak spots in Kira's security. If there was one thing L had learned as a Detective it was that there was always a loophole or chink in the armor in any situation. It was just his job to find it. 

_'I will find it. I will do what I have to and protect the boys but as soon as I'm able I will leave this place with them… I have to believe that. I have to keep trying for them. Wishing for death is no longer an option'_

L followed Light out of the cell and swept his eyes about the corridor as they walked. He was dismayed at the sheer number of guards he spotted as well as the numerous security checkpoints and cameras. Clearly Kira wasn't taking any chances.

"Yes, it might look a bit… extreme, but keeping you requires it" Light chuckled as he noticed L scan the area. He'd expected him to do it and truthfully would have been disappointed if L hadn't. 

"Yes, keeping me must be very taxing for you" L snarled under his breath, "Is Kira's zoo very full or are myself and my heirs the only animals you house?"

Light raised an eyebrow at L's tone. He was in an indulgent mood and L really did look lovely in that gray jumper. "I have several prisoners undergoing rehabilitation. It is my police to only execute those who have no physical or mental attribute that might help my agenda. Obviously yourself and your heirs possess the intelligence and skill set I am looking for, hence you are alive"

_'Bullshit. I'm alive because you want to fuck me'_ L thought gloomily. His stomach flipped and he bit down on his lip. How was he going to cope with that? 

Being reminded of such a horrific event in his near future quietened him and L hung his head as he walked the rest of the way. He counted the cells as he passed and glanced at the prisoners. Many of them seemed to be in a drugged stupor. Either they had been taking Nathran B longer than he had or they were more susetible to its effects. Either way, they didn't look like they were causing Kira or his guards much trouble. 

"What happened to the guard I kicked?" L suddenly asked. He'd meant to ask the other day but one unfortunate side effect of being drugged to the eyeballs was that one lost track of time. 

"He had to have a testicle removed because you ruptured it beyond repair" Light answered mildly, the hint of a smile on his lips, "I'm very grateful you didn't kick me that hard in one of our spats. I always did suspect you were holding back a little"

_'I **was** holding back a lot you arrogant bastard. I could have killed you easily with a well-aimed kick to the throat'_

L didn't reply as they approached a set of heavy double doors. They were made of steel and L suspected they were probably bulletproof. 

"Kira-Sama" the guards dipped their heads and hurried to open the doors for the God. L fought back the urge to roll his eyes and remind the plebs they were worshipping a narcissistic 20 year old _child_. 

They stepped through the doors and L immediately spotted a flash of white hair that could only belong to Near. 

"Boys!" He chocked out, his heart pounding in his chest. All three of his heirs rushed to the front of their cell like puppies in a pound and L felt his heart ache at the sight of them. They looked well enough but Mello was sporting a black eye and they all looked lethargic and miserable. 

Understandable, really. 

"L!" Mello reached his hand out and L rushed over to him, uncaring of the guards stationed by the door. They shifted uneasily and looked to Light for guidance. Light shook his head and they relaxed at their posts. 

"Are you alright?" L asked at once, eyes running over the boy's face anxiously. 

"We're… here" Matt didn't even bother to say 'fine' since it was abundantly obvious no one was fine. "You?"

"Here too" L managed a small smile. He tensed as Light approached and opened the door to the boy's cell. It was stupid but L found himself greatful that at least they weren't put in separate cells. At least they had each other. 

"I have several meetings to attend. You are permitted to spend two hours with your heirs before you are escorted to your new cell. I've asked for tea and cake to be provided for you. Do try and not throw this one at the wall"

Mello flicked his eyes to L and a ghost of a smile flashed across his face. It was good to know L wasn't making things easy for the bastard. 

L was tempted to sarcastically thank Light for the impromptu tea party but thought better of it. He wouldn't risk his time with the boys being cut short.

The instant Light had turned to leave L darted inside the cell and opened his arms. All three teenagers rushed to him and L felt tears well in his eyes as they nestled against him like chicks after their mothers warmth and protection. L knew the only way he could protect them now was through his obedience. 

No one said anything as guards arrived with the promised tea and cake. They remained close together as one of the guards briskly informed them they were under surveillance and that they would return in two hours.

"Bye, Bitch" Mello sparked as the guards turned on their heel and resumed their posts just around the corner. The illusion of privacy was cute but L just knew that Kira, despite his claims he was in meetings, was the one probably watching them. 

"We don't have much time" L pulled Mello away from the bars and they sat down together. "Tell me what happened to Wammy's"

"You don't want to know, L" Near shook his head sadly, "it was a massacre"

"You're right, I don't want to know but I…I need to know what happened" L poured a cup of tea and took a small sip. He couldn't detect the mild metallic tang that was usually prevalent in his food. Seeing as their mentor was drinking, the boys drank as well. 

"Basically everyone was shot on sight. Then the place was obliterated with fire bombs. A cover up blamed a gas explosion I believe. Such a tragedy" Matt rolled his eyes, "Guess Kira didn't want the bad press associated with bombing a place full of children, huh?"

L shook his head sadly. "It is my fault"

"What? No! Kira said you'd mumbled something about Wammy's when you were asleep, L, you can't control what you do or say when you're out of it" Mello grabbed L by the shoulders and actually shook him a little to drive home his point. "We need you, L, and now isn't the time to throw a self-indulgent pity party"

His heirs words knocked some sense into him and L flushed with embarrassment. Who knew Mello could be so mature? The last year he'd spent away from them showed. They were all so different than the boys he remembered leaving behind in England. 

"You're right. I am sorry" L glanced at the cake and then met Mello's eye, "Want to chuck this at the wall with me?"

Matt scoffed and picked up a slice. "You two do as you like but I'm eating mine. I need the calories"

"Ditto" Near grabbed his and stuffed it in his mouth. "Drugged or not, it's important that we eat. What do you think throwing your cake at a wall is going to achieve anyway?"

Mello pouted as he conceded the spoil-sport did have a good point. 

Light, meanwhile, was alternating his attention between the delegates and the screen before him. L's reunion with his heirs had gone much the way he expected it to. They embraced and then talked about Wammy's House. L's fit of pique and suggestion to throw the cake against the wall had him rolling his eyes in fond exasperation. 

_'When will you learn, L? Stubborn thing. At least your heirs are more practical than you are. Matt in particular possesses a useful ability to calculate risks. He would make a fine negotiate and strategist. Mello would be an ideal solider and Near… I believe Near is best suited to developing the technology I need to assist me to rule'_

That left L, but Light already knew exactly what he wanted from him. L would be his right-hand man and Consort. He would do whatever it took to have L in his bed (willingly) and writing names for him in his Death Note. 

But as he watched L and Mello decide to throw their cake against the wall he had to reconcile himself to the fact that his plans for L might take a little while to come to fruition… 

Not that it mattered. 

Light was a patient man and L Lawliet was definitely worth waiting for. 


	6. Stuborness/Perserverance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light wants something from L and is determined to get it... Which will win out- L's stubbornness or Light's Perseverance?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big kudos to Hippopi for suggesting the cake scene to us... It kinda shaped the entire chapter so we re-wrote most of it and are very happy with the results. We hope you are too... 
> 
> Warnings for this chapter! : Non-Con, Drug use, Sexual torture, Orgasam delay, Light being a creepy, pervy psycho... 
> 
> Enjoy! 😈 -ALS & OBN

When Light arrived back at the cell L knew he was in deep shit. The look on Light's face was not amused. 

"What did I say about throwing the cake against the wall, L?" Light asked in a stern tone of voice. L felt like a child being scolded which was utterly ridiculous. He glanced nervously at his heirs. He was supposed to be obedient for their sake… it had felt good at the time but he cursed himself for his stupidity. His disobedience could get his heirs maimed… or worse. 

"I'm sorry" L whispered. 

"I very much doubt that, however since I know how _proficient_ you are with your tongue you can lick it up" Light smiled smugly and nodded to the wall. "Go on then. Clean up your mess. You know the consequences of disobedience, L"

L flushed red and tried not to spontaneously combust with shame and embarrassment. There was no way the boys hadn't picked up on the sly innuendo. Mello sucked in a shocked breath and L wished for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. He didn't want his heirs to think of him doing something like that for Kira.

"L. Do not make me repeat myself. I am certain you won't appreciate the repercusions" Light's voice had a hint of steel in it and he slid his gaze from one heir to the next. It wasn't even a veiled threat. L swallowed thickly. He had to obey… 

L walked over to the wall on shaky legs and knelt before the mess. 

_'Oh god. I can feel their eyes on me!'_ L hung his head in defeat. If Kira's aim was to humiliate him (which, of course, it was) then he had more than succeeded. 

"It's okay, L" 

Near's soft voice gave him the strength he needed and L stuck out his tongue. Even though the mush was on a wall it tasted so fucking good to L's sugar starved body. 

"Half of that mess is mine" Mello pointed out, "Shall I clean it too?"

Light smirked at the fierce display of loyalty to L. "Nice try, Miheal, but L is more than capable of cleaning it up himself"_ 'Besides, that cake has a special something in it just for L'_ Light forced himself not to show his excitement. He'd have L to himself soon enough. 

Mello's shoulders dropped in disappointment. It wasn't like he wanted to lick the mess up from the wall but he wanted to help L. 

"Thank you, Mello" L mumbled, his embarrassment fading to cold irritation. His heirs were trying to rally around him and it warmed his heart. He could endure whatever Light threw at him as long as he had their support. Or so he hoped. He continued to lick the mess from the wall until he began to feel dizzy. His knees were aching from kneeling against the steel floor and he suddenly found himself fighting against the overwhelming urge to rip his shirt off. Sweat trickled down his brow and he wiped it away. 

_'Something's wrong…'_ L rested his forehead against the cool wall and panted for breath. He was burning up! He felt a strange stirring between his legs and was horrified to discover he was half-hard. '_Aphrodisiac. Has to be… '_

Light seemed pleased at the odd physical effects and nodded to his guards as if he had been waiting for this moment. "L is being taken to his new cell now. I should probably tell you I knew you all that I predicted Near and Matt would go for the toffee cake. That one wasn't drugged. The chocolate one, L and Mello's favourite, _was_…"

Near bit his lip and cursed the bastard's cunning. L was semi-lucid as he was half-walked, half dragged out of the cell. That wasn't Nathran B. "What did you give him?" Near demanded, voice cracking in panic as L slumped in the guards arms. 

"Just a little something to aid his obedience training" Light answered in a purr, "You should all know that he will do whatever I want to keep you alive… for his sake, I expect you to do the same"

"You arrogant bastard!" Mello snarled. He looked ready to punch the so-called God in his smug looking face but Matt grabbed his arm and held him back. 

"Least one of you has common sense" Light nodded approvingly at Matt, "I will see you in a few days. Do _try_ and behave"

The boys could do nothing but glare at Light's retreating form as he strolled from the room. Matt sat down on his bunk and, for the first time, allowed himself to consider the very real possibility that they would all loose. L's love for them and their love for L would be used against them until all defiance was gone. And that drug… 

_'Death would be preferable but he won't do that. He wants us on his side. I think we all underestimated just how much of a psychopathic bastard he really is'_

"Why did you hold me back?" Mello turned to him with fury in his bright blue eyes, "Did you see what he did to L or did you just not care?"

Matt forced himself to hold his tongue and keep a level head. He recognised what was happening. Near had lapsed into a depressed silence and Mello's natural angry nature was being enhanced by the drug. It was a clever ploy of 'divide and conquer' to weaken the bond between them. 

_'It won't work, Kira. We might not have much but we will always have each other!'_ Matt thought stubbornly. He asked Mello to sit next to him and soothed his best friend out of his pique of anger. 

For all of their sakes, Matt would do whatever it took to keep them together. He took Mello into his arms and whispered to him about all the soothing things he could think of. He talked about Mr Wammy's kind blue eyes and snowball fights, the smell of pine needles and rainwater that was prevalent throughout Wammy's House in the winter… 

Eventually Mello dropped off to sleep, his mind filled with warm memories of a home that no longer existed and Matt whispered for Near to come and join them. Near slouched over and all three boys curled up together like puppies seeking warmth and protection. Near soon fell asleep but Matt found no such release. 

His mind and stomach were busy churning anxiously as he thought about what Kira was doing to their mentor… 

And how long L had before the inevitable happened and he broke. 

*******************

L wasn't lucid enough to appreciate his new, larger cell. He wouldn't have appreciated it much even if he had full control of his faculties anyway. 

Light announced he would be spending some time with L that afternoon and ordered the pair of guards to return to their duties. The state L was in meant he poised no real threat and Light doubted he could even get that usually sharp tongue of his to work. 

L was half-awake and painfully hard. He squirmed on the bed as he clawed his hands at the sheet. It was difficult to think of anything except the overwhelming urge to come. 

"Poor, L" Light sighed in mock sympathy as he sat down next to L. He ran his hand over L's twitching stomach and chuckled at the way L arched into and then recoiled from his touch. "I can make it better for you if you do something for me first"

'_Go… to… Hell!'_ L clamped his teeth into his lower lip and bit down hard. He would not move closer to Kira! 

Light was enthralled at L's stubbornness but knew he could break it. The Aphrodisiac was simply too powerful for L to fight much longer and he really needed two names only L could give him. He figured he could have probably just threatened the boys but where was the fun in that? He was enjoying seeing L squirm. Light watched L's face as he slid has hand lower and between his legs. L let out a strangled gasp and tried to clamp his legs together. 

"I will make you come, L, all you need to do to make this stop is whisper two little names to me" Light cooed as he squeezed the hard flesh between L's legs a little more firmly. 

"Ahh! No!" 

"Aiber and Wedy have all but disappeared and are causing me a spot of bother. I need their names, L and I know you know them"

L felt the bitter tang of blood as his teeth caught his lip and tore it. Light was moving his hand in slow, circular motions and he couldn't help but buck his hips up. He needed more! His heart was pounding in his ears and he couldn't open his eyes. Everything was too much and all he knew was that if he didn't come soon he would go insane. 

"I can suck you, L… I promise it will feel so good" Light tempted as he slipped L's pants lower, just a few inches over his hip bones and stroked the pale flesh teasingly. "Just two little names…"

L sobbed as he tossed his head in exquisite agony. Just the feeling of Kira's fingernails scraping across the skin of his hips was enough to make him shudder and shake and yet still he resisted. 

Light withdrew his hand and regarded L through calculating, narrowed eyes. It was entirely unsurprising that L was still resisting him. The man had a will of steel. 

But even steel broke. 

With a sharp tug Light pulled the pants down L's hips. He could see how painfully aroused L was, even through his boxers, and he chuckled warmly. One day L was going to be this aroused without needing to be drugged. One day L would beg to be fucked by him and would dedicate his heart, body and soul to him with a devotion just as fierce as his pride was. 

"D-don't!" 

Light ignored L and wrapped his fingers around the thick erection in front of him. It looked almost purple and twitched in his hold. "Oh, L, this looks painful" Light sighed, "You really need to come, don't you?" He thumbed the slit and L spasmed as pre-come oozed out of him. "You're so wet, L"

"Shut up! Shut up, shut _up_!" L screamed in torment as he resisted the urge to buck into Light's fist. He knew he was fighting a losing battle the instant Light began to slowly pump his length.

"Aaaahhh! Mmm! Ah-aah!"

Light found the moans and pants delicious but what he wanted even more was names and he was determined to get them, even if it meant toying with L for the entire afternoon. It was only a matter of time before L broke after all. No one could withstand his drugs effects for long. 

L quivered as Light moved closer and dipped his head to press kisses against his trembling belly. "You know you want me, L. Stop fighting me"

_'God! His lips… feels… ngggh!'_ L whimpered at the sensation of sinfully hot, smooth lips trailing down his stomach. Just a little further and they'd be… 

Light stopped just above L's cock and breathed on the glands. L shuddered violently and Light laughed as he heard the bedsheets tear beneath L's clawed fingers. _'Nearly there… '_ Light went in for the kill and took the tip of L's cock into his mouth. He swirled his tongue around the slit and rejoiced in the harsh shout of pleasure that was torn from L as he applied a little more pressure. He resisted sucking too strongly and he refused to give L a rhythm that was satisfy him. He was close to getting those names and they came first. L could come after. 

"Please! No-Aghh! Me-Merrie!" L's hazy eyes widened as he realised what he said and the sweat cooling on his skin chilled him to the bone. 

"Merrie…" Light murmured as resumed stroking L's throbbing flesh, "Good boy. I need a second name. Merrie what?"

L sobbed as the torturously slow pumps to his cock made his blood boil and his toes curl. "Ken.."

"Go on" Light prompted softly. "You're nearly there, L" 

"Kenwood!" L sobbed. He felt so ashamed of himself but even the shame seemed distant and inconsequential to his body's demands to come. 

Light rewarded L by pulling his cock taut and slowly tracing the pulsing vein with his tongue. L tasted so fucking good and Light was eager to bring this teasing to an end. He wanted to suck L's cock and taste his lover and as with most things, what he wanted, he got. 

"Thierry Morrello!" L screamed out the last name, tears pouring down his face to intermingle with the sweat. 

Victory tasted nearly as sweet as L did as Light hungrily sucked him down and used his tongue and throat to reward the thrashing man above him. L was reduced to broken cries and sobs as his body shuddered violently. 

Light bobbed his head and hollowed his cheeks. He sucked as hard and fast as he could and soon L was teetering on the brink of release. There was just one little thing Light had forgotten to mention. In order for L to come he would have to beg for it. 

"Aghhh! No m-more! I _can't_!" L sobbed as his body strained for release that was being denied for him. He didn't understand what was happening! The warm wetness and that fucking tongue felt incredible but he couldn't come! He whimpered in distress as he felt that hot mouth slid away from him. 

"Beg me, L" Light rasped breathlessly. "Beg me to come"

"_**No**_!" L screamed in frustration. The bastard had chipped away at him and gotten those names but he would not take his pride as well. 

Light smiled and began to pepper L's cock with little kisses. Good thing he'd cleared his schedule for the afternoon, as he suspected he'd be here for quite a while. No matter, he'd got the names he was after and sooner or later L would beg him. 

He teased him by alternating between licks and sucks, each one tormentingly light and lacking in the pressure he craved. Light flicked his eyes to the clock on the wall and was amused to note L's latest bout of stubbornness had lasted thirty minutes so far. An impressive feet. It had taken him an hour to extract those names so he was interested to discover how long it would take to demolish L's pride. 

"Pl… please" L finally whimpered miserably, "Please… I need… I need to come" It had been forty-five minutes. 

Light, who had been idly tracing little patterns on L's hip bones with his tongue whilst fondling his balls, lifted his head and smiled triumphantly. "Say 'Please make me come, Kira-Sama'"

L was beyond exhausted and he just wanted it to stop. Through a throat hoarse with crying and screaming he whispered the words that felt like a nail in his coffin. "Please make me come, Kira-Sama"

Light relished the words and gave K a long, sultry smile. "As you wish" he swallowed L down and sucked hard. He felt L sieze against him and the hot flesh throb in his mouth before L let out a strangled sob of relief and spurted out thick jets of come into his mouth. Light moaned at the faintly sweet taste and swallowed each mouthful down with relish. L was shivering violently and his cock just kept pumping more and more come out. Light giggled and continued to milk him for all he was worth until L finally let out a weak whimper and collapsed back against the bed, completely and utterly spent. 

_'Damn, that drug really does make you come a lot. Maybe I should experiment with a milder version to give to him daily…'_ Light licked his lips in satisfaction as he watched L through hooded eyes. 

Now that he had finally come strength had left him completely. L's eyes were closed and he looked about ready to pass out as he continued to whimper and shiver. 

"Sweet dreams, Sweetheart" Light cooed. His back ached a little but it was well worth it. He stretched the kinks out of his body and fetched a warm throw to drape over L's body. He'd need a bath when he was awake, his hair was limp and soaked with sweat. 

He took a moment to drink the sight of his soon to be lover before he quietly left the cell and ordered L's guards to rouse him in a few hours for a bath. 

Light returned to his office and shot Ryuk a triumphant look when the Shinigami asked how his 'playtime' with L had gone. 

"Merrie Kenwood and Thierry Morrello" Light answered smugly. "Did you really doubt me, Ryuk?"

The Shinigami let out a raspy laugh of amusement as he shook his head. Of course he didn't. Out of every miserable human on this planet Light Yagami was the only one who consistently lived up to his expectations. Ryuk watched as Light took out his Death Note from his desk drawer and wrote down those two hard won names. 

"I've cleared the rest of my meetings this afternoon. You can sit in on them if you wish but… I believe I will be spending some time in the lab. I feel quite inspired to try something new" Job done, Light closed the Death Note and turned to Ryuk with a sunny smile. "I know the lab isn't exactly your thing so why don't you go and keep L company for a while?"

Ryuk grinned and eagerly nodded his head. How entertaining would it be to watch the World's Greatest Detective's fall from grace in person? 

Ryuk happily made his way down to the cells and found Lawliet wide awake, haunted eyes fixed unseeingly at some spot in front of him. 

'_Aw come on! Surely he hasn't broken you already? That's no fun!'_ Ryuk thought in disappointment as L continued to just sit and stare at nothing. 

Just as Ryuk was about to up and leave, L finally seemed to rouse. Ryuk was delighted as L burst into tears and sobbed out an apology to Aiber and Wedy. 

"Lawliet! Kira-Sama has ordered you tak e a bath"

Ryuk giggled as L flinched at the command. He slowly wiped the tears from his eyes with his sleeve and stood up. He didn't try to resist as the guards cuffed his hands and led him to the bathroom down the hall. 

For the first time since he had been taken captive L felt as if all the fight in him was gone. He didn't even _want _to fight anymore. He just wanted the guilt and the pain to stop.

He bathed with tears coursing down his face and wished for nothing more than to slip beneath the water and have it fill up his lungs... 


	7. The Slide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light begins to see the results of his obedience training...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings for this chapter:
> 
> Sexual exploitation, non-consensual drug use, emotional manipulation. Kira's been busy and he's making some progress with L.

Kira had decided to work from his cell today, and L wasn't quite sure what to think about it. In one respect, being forced to watch his enemy kill in front of him felt like he was rubbing his victory in his face, on the other hand L found himself actually glad of the company. 

It was a new low he'd been brought to. Appreciating the company of the monster who'd drugged, assaulted him and then killed his allies. 

The Dr was still there, of course, but L didn't speak to him unless absolutely necessary. Sometimes he believed he actually hated the weedy, rat-like man more than he did Kira. At least with Kira there was the occasional flash of kindness. With the Dr there was nothing but clinical interest and cold, probing stares. L felt like an organism under a microscope each time those dull brown eyes settled on him. 

To further add to his confusion, L had no idea what day it was or what time it was either. He had just brushed his teeth and had a shower but that could mean either morning or night time. The drugs in his system made it hard for him to concentrate on even the simplest of tasks, hence why he was just sat in his chair watching Kira write like a broken doll. He blinked but that was about all he could muster the energy to do. 

It was all slipping away from him. 

What was more concerning was the fact that he was increasingly wanting to submit to Kira. All the other man had to do was ask him to shower or change his clothes or take a walk and L would just do it. No questions act. Inwardly he would try and rebel but his body wouldn't listen. He felt like a puppet. 

"Darling, are you awake?"

L cringed at the sickly-sweet voice but slowly nodded his head. He lifted his head to settle hazy eyes on Kira. 

"You've been such a good boy this last week, L, would you like to see your brothers again soon?"

L nodded his head again, too afraid of Light/Kira retracting the offer if he didn't.

"Very well, I will see to it. Good behaviour should be rewarded after all" Light closed his Death Note and regarded L with calculating eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"I… I don't know" L struggled to answer. How could he express the strange, sick feeling of disjointedness he was currently experiencing? It was like he was aware of his surroundings and aware he was himself and yet far away at the same time. He felt like he was a stranger in his own body. 

"Yes you do" Light tutted, "It is important that we monitor the effects of Nathran B on you, Sweetheart, it is in your best interest to be honest" 

"I feel… disjointed" L whispered in reply. "I don't feel like I am myself"

L noted the way the Dr's lips quirked into a smile as he scribbled something down. With a sinking heart L realised he was feeling exactly they way they wanted him to. The slide was starting… 

"L, how do you feel about Aiber and Wedy?" The Dr suddenly asked. 

At the sound of their names, L curled into a ball and squeezed his eyes shut. He'd betrayed them. They were dead and it was all his fault! 

"Gu-guilty!" L answered reluctantly. "I killed them"

Light shrugged carelessly, "You played a part but technically I was the one who killed them"

The Dr put a tick next to the box that read: Exploitable guilt complex.

"Thank you, Dr. L and I will spend some time alone now. Please go and monitor the other patients" Light shot the Dr a meaningful look. L swallowed thickly. Did Light mean the boys…? 

L warily watched the Dr bow and leave before turning distrustful eyes back to Light. The prospect of being alone with him was deeply unsettling… 

"L, did you like what I did to you the other day?" Kira advanced on him like a predator and L shrank away, heart pounding furiously in his chest. How he wanted to deny it and tell Kira how awful it had been… 

"Yes" L whispered in a soft, broken voice. "I liked it" he couldn't lie. Even as he bit his tongue to stop the words coming out they came anyway. "You made me like it" he added, just to wipe that smug smirk off of Kira's face.

"Hardly. Nathran simply enhances the fears and desires already present in a person. You want me and the drug simply exacerbates it" Light replied matter of factly, "I confess I have been thinking about moving things along with you a little, L…" There was a red gleam of lust in those cold eyes that made L's skin crawl with revulsion. He knew exactly what Light was talking about. He'd already laid claim to his virginity and had explicitly told L he would take it whenever he wanted to. 

L recoiled in horror. Even as his body urged him to say 'yes' he forced out a strangled "No!"

"There's that word again" Light tutted. He sounded almost playful as he shook his head at L disapprovingly. "Take off your trousers, L, and get on all fours on the bed. I won't take you yet, I just want to look at you"

L quivered and felt bile rise in his mouth. On all fours? Look at him… oh god. Light wanted to look at his… "You… you're serious?"

"Mmmhmm" Light's eyes positively simmered as they gazed at L's flushed face. "I've been feeling rather unsatisfied with Mikami lately. I want to see a hole worth fucking" Light sat back with a pleased smile as L's trembling hands drifted lower. He was unable to disobey with the current level of Nathran in his system. Provided there were no unfortunate side effects, Light decided he might keep L on this dose for a while. 

_'Oh god. He's serious. He wants me to… I can't refuse him! I'm taking my trousers off-'_

L's panicked thoughts were cut off sharply as the cool air of the room caressed his skin. He screamed internally as he pulled his boxers down and walked on shaky legs towards the bed. His body arranged itself so that he was on his hands and knees, head bent submissively and ass in the air. 

He had never wanted to die as much in his entire life. 

"Veeery nice" Light purred as he got up from his chair to inspect the shaking form on the bed so enticingly exposed for him. "But I've seen this before. What I want to see is…"

L sucked in a startled breath as Light's hands cupped his ass and parted his cheeks. He cringed at the sensation of cold air hitting his hole. Light stared hungrily at the small, puckered hole. It was winking and spasming and oh how tempted he was to just sink inside and… 

_'No. Not yet. Soon. I must continue to be patient'_ with an iron will, Light forced his raging labido to calm. He thumbed over the small hole and L quivered, his back trembling with the strain of forcing himself to keep quiet. "Does this feel good?" Light asked softly as he gently traced the ring of muscle. "Do you want me to finger you, L? Rim you?"

_'Rim me… what is he talking about?!'_ L bit down on his lip and blinked back embarrassed tears. He could feel himself growing hard and shivers of pleasure skittled up and down his spine with each gentle stroke of Light's thumb… 

"Of course. You wouldn't know what that is" Light chuckled darkly and pushed just the tip of his thumb into the hole, testing the resistance, "You're quite innocent, aren't you?"

"Get out!" L suddenly thrashed like a caught fish as he felt a strange pushing sensation inside him. It didn't hurt but it was uncomfortable. Light ignored him and used his free hand to uncap a little tube. L glanced back over his shoulder to see what it was in alarm. 

"Shhh, L, this will make it easier" Light soothed as he squirted a bit of the cold gel on his fingers. L squirmed at the coldness as slickened fingers brushed against him. It was sick but he felt the need to push back! He wanted those fingers inside him! 

_'No, I don't want it. My body does. That damn drug…'_ L stopped thinking as a second finger was pushed into him. It stung and he let out a small whimper of distress. 

"So tight" Kira's voice sounded husky with desire, "Oh, L, you feel so incredibly tight…"

"Stop! Please" L rasped out as he tried not to shudder. Kira was plunging his fingers in and out and L felt a spark of fire race up his spine each time a certain spot was hit. "Uwahh!" L jolted when Kira pressed firmly against that place and he couldn't stop himself letting out a shocked gasp. Dimly he realised Kira was pressing against his prostate. He knew all male's had them, but he hadn't given his, or sexual pleasure, much thought. Until now that is… 

"There it is…" Light purred and wiggled his fingers a little before pressing into the spongy tissue of L's swelling prostate gland, "You like that and don't deny it, I can see your reaction… you're overflowing with precome. Who would have thought, the Great Detective L gets off to having his asshole fingered!"

L cringed because there was no denying that. He could feel the wetness between his legs and dripping onto the table… it felt good and god help him he wanted more and more… 

"You were made for this" Light sighed as he continued to stimulate L with his fingers. "You can try and deny it all you want, my stubborn puppy, but you love this"

"Mm! Agh! St-stop-" L tensed up and cried out as the thrusts suddenly quickend in pace. 

"I will do what I want with you" Light chuckled, "And in time you will crawl to me and beg to be mounted and fucked like my little bitch-"

"No!" L tried to sound angry but was horrified to hear it sounded like more of a sob. 

Light suddenly pulled his fingers out and smirked at the stretched and twitching hole. "Look at this" Light breathed, "Twitching and begging for more. Your hole seems so empty now, L…" Light listened to the laboured breaths and small moans spilling from L's throat and decided to show mercy on him. "Do you want me to help you come?"

L whimpered because yes that was what his body wanted (needed!) but his mind… he felt like his mind was locked in a steel box. Since Kira had drugged him he had found himself increasingly aroused and needy in a way he had never felt in his previously practically asexual existence. He knew he was on an increasing dosage of Nathran and he knew his confusion and bodily urges were being used against him. He didn't have to read the ratty Dr's notes to know that for he knew how ruthlessly cunning and manipulative Kira was. Of course he would use his lack of experience in his own sexuality against him. 

And with that drug coursing through his veins he was powerless to stop it. 

"Please" L rasped out, "I-I need…"

Light stroked down the smooth plane of L's ass cheek soothingly, "What do you need, Sweetheart?" He crooned, "Just be honest with me, L, that's all you need to do"

L hung his head and tried to stop himself from shaking. It hurt and if he didn't come soon, just like before, he feared he'd go insane. But to beg Kira (again) felt like a step too far. One step before the slide into subservience and resignation… 

"I need… " L grit his teeth and tried to resist the urge to beg. His throat ached almost as much as his balls did. All he wanted to do was plead with Kira to come… 

"Go on" Light's voice was as dark and smooth as honey as he stepped closer to L and tenderly ran a hand down his trembling back, "Say it, L"

L closed his eyes in resignation and shame as the words slipped from his mouth in a ragged whisper "Please make me come… K-kira-sama"

Light said, or did, nothing for several long seconds before he let out a shaky breath and pressed a kiss to the side of L's neck. "_Good Boy"_

And then Kira had moved and L felt air on his hole and Kira's hands grasping his ass and then… 

"Aaaaaahhhh!" L screamed at the top of his lungs as he felt not fingers but a tongue pressing against his hole. His arms threatened to give out on him and he couldn't support his weight. He flopped onto the bed face first, his arms splashing out to break his fall. He thought he heard Kira chuckle before that slick feeling against his hole made him shudder and cry out again. 

Kira was relentless as he licked and sucked at him and L couldn't hold himself back. He begged for more as that clever, lying tongue speared inside of him and turned his legs to jelly. 

He wasn't sure what had tipped him over the edge. It might have been Kira's free hand stroking the hard flesh between his legs, the wet, sucking sounds or the throbbing inside him but when he came he saw colors behind his eyes. Someone, possibly him, screamed but he was transported with sheer pleasure he couldn't even tell anymore. With each throb and spurt of come L felt sweet relief and he sobbed as the raging tidal wave of finally washed away. 

He sucked in oxygen and panted for breath as the colors became transparent and faded. He wasn't sure where he was it was all he could do to just breath. 

"Mmm, you taste wonderful" Light sighed against L's thigh. The sound of his voice snapped L out of his lastitude and his eyes flickered open. "You've made me very hard, L. You're quite the screamer…"

L shivered at the lust in Kira's voice. He couldn't stop himself letting out a small whimper as he felt Light approach. Did Kira expect him to take him in his mouth again? The sound of a zipper and then… pleasured sighs. 

"Stay" Light ordered, his hand picking up pace as his eyes roamed over L's trembling body. L squeezed his eyes shut and sank back onto the bed. He winced as he felt the puddle of cooling come underneath him. It felt disgusting. 

"That's it. That's a good boy" Kira's words were punctuated by gasps and L could barely hear the slick sounds of Kira's hand on his flesh over the terrified hammering of his heart. 

"Stay still! Ah, stay right there, L!"

L couldn't move even if he wanted to. His body didn't belong to him. He lay stock still and listened as Kira let out a load groan. He felt hot liquid spill onto his back and he swallowed thickly. Kira was coming on him… 

"Oh, L… You are so perfect" Kira let out a deep satisfied sigh and rubbed the stripes of come into L's back. L bit down on his knuckles at the odd sensation. "You've more than earned your visit with your heirs. However, I should warn you… you might find them quite… changed"

_'Changed… like I'm changing? Oh god… he's winning! He's really winning'_

L tried to sit up, panic forcing him to move and make sure the boys were alright. 

"Uh-uh, stay there, L" a deceptively soft voice and a firm hand on his back kept him still. "I promised you in return for your obedience they would be well looked after, and they have been. Why don't you compose yourself and we will go see them"

L felt the hand let up from his back and he forced himself to sit up. He winced as Light handed him a damp towel to clean himself off. His cheeks burned as he felt those scorching eyes on him and he hurried to clean himself as fast as humanly possible. He pulled his trousers and boxers up and hung his head to avoid Kira's stare. 

He felt like he was nothing. 

L bit his lip as he heard Kira zip himself back up and then there was a gentle hand on his face and lifting his head. He did his best not to lean into the gentle caress. 

"Your eyes are lovely. I can be kind to you, L. I can be so kind to you if you just let me" Light slowly stroked L's thumb with his cheek. L felt hypnotized by the sweet, warm voice and closed his eyes. "Will you let me be kind to you, L?"

"Yes" L breathed out softly, finding it impossible to focus on anything but that soothing voice. 

Light smiled darkly and made a mental note to thank the Dr for his genius idea of playing L subliminal messages in his sleep. L's body was his to command under the c ontrol of the Nathran but it was his mind that he truly wanted. 

L Lawliet 's beautiful, brilliant mind would be his. 

It had already begun…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I actually quite enjoyed writing this chapter. Guess I'm going to hell... 🤗😂


	8. His Voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out what Kira wants with the Trio, and with L and L undergoes Voice training while Light reaps the rewards.

L followed Kira down the long corridor to the boy's cell. His hands were cuffed in front of him, something he found unusual. Kira usually offered him the chance to behave himself before threatening to cuff him. 

It did not bode well for his meeting with his heirs. L glanced at Kira and felt his cheeks flush with heat. It was hard to look at him considering the man's tongue had been in his asshole not thirty minutes ago. 

"Something the matter?" Light glanced back and gave L a smoldering smile. "You appear rather flushed, Dear"

L abruptly lowered his gaze to the ground. He would not acknowledge what had happened. Kira was a smug, infuriating bastard. Every step he took seemed more like a swagger but L couldn't blame him for that. Who wouldn't be pleased when their sworn enemy submitted to them the way he had submitted to Light? He'd begged to be allowed to orgasm… 

"Kira-Sama" Mikami strode swiftly towards them and swept a deep, elegant bow. "We've, uh, had a development…" Mikami's eyes strayed to L uncertainly. 

"Is it concerning the trio?" Light asked bluntly, "Because we are going to see them now"

"Yes, Kami-Sama. The blonde one, Mello, has had a breakthrough and positively responded to treatment and has been returned to his cell" Mikami sounded excited and couldn't stop himself from adding, "I was beginning to wonder if it was possible, after the procedure-"

"What procedure? What have you done to him?!" L burst out in a panicked voice. Mello did not just roll over. Mello would never just accept his confinement and 'respond positively' to Kira's sick conditioning… His Mello was as wild and untamable as the wind. 

"L, calm down"

L gritted his teeth and glared at Light. "Tell me what you've done to him!" 

"Helped him accept his role in the new world" Light smiled brightly, "That fire of his is something I need but his aggression is not. I'm afraid after I took you away on your last visit Mello got a bit… agitated. So…"

L barged past Light and ran the remaining few meters to the corner of the corridor. Just around the corner lay the boys cell. The guards stepped back and let him through as Light nodded his permission. 

"Mello?! Mello, are you alright?" L rushed to the barred entrance of the cell and felt his stomach drop. Mello was sat placidly on his cot, a dreamy smile on his face as he stared at nothing. "Mello! It's me!" L banged his cuffs against the bars but Mello didn't even flinch at the noise. 

"He's undergone some radical therapy to get rid of all that aggression. He bit a guard, L, I won't tolerate that. Besides, now he is much happier, aren't you, Mello?"

Mello looked up at the sound of Light's voice and hurried over to the bars. "I am! Thank you, Kira-Sama! I live only to serve you"

_'Oh no. What's he done? What have they done to you, Mello?' _

"Mello here is my guinea pig. He's been lobotomised you see" Light leaned closer and let his breath tickle over L's ear. "I wouldn't risk your life on such a delicate procedure without being certain of the results. The boys have a purpose, Darling, and that is to serve as my three trail subjects before you undergo the operation…"

L wavered on his feet, vision dimming as shock and terror slammed through him. Through blurry eyes he squinted at Mello's smiling face before his eyes rolled back in his head and consciousness left him. 

Light caught him easily and smiled as he wrapped his arms around L's waist. Did poor L really believe he was willing to waste his time and energy on the boys for no real gain? Yes, they were useful in gleaning some obedience from L but if he wanted that he could have it already by increasing the doses of Nathran. 

_'Love really does make fools out of the best of us, huh, L?'_ Light thought tenderly as he stroked L's face. "Bring him back to his cell and keep him sedated until an update is received concerning the other two's procedures" 

The guards bowed and hurried to take L from Kira's arms. "Kami-Sama, should we keep him restrained?"

Light smirked as he nodded his head. "Oh yes, I think we are going to be in for a rough few days with him…" 

The guards left to return L to his cell and Light returned his thoughtful gaze to Mello. The young man smiled at him and he smiled back. 

Mello had been the easiest to break, just as he had expected. Near and Matt however would no doubt prove more of a challenge but Light was looking forward to it. 

Each boy was a step towards the ultimate goal: lobotomizing L and turning him into his sweet, loyal puppy… 

********************

When L next awoke it was to find himself strapped down on a gurney. He let out a panicked yell and tried to kick out as the Dr approached, smiling ominously and needle in hand. 

"Get away from me! Don't fucking touch me you sick bastard!" L screamed as he thrashed against his restraints. 

"There, there, L, this is just a little something to keep you nice and relaxed while you have your brain scan" If the Dr was trying to sound soothing it wasn't working. L whimpered when he realised he wasn't getting anywhere with his thrashing around. 

"Where is Kira! I need to talk to him!"

"Kira-Sama is currently busy making the world a better place. You are in my care for the reminder of the day and we have so much to do! Now, hold still"

L would do no such thing. He'd promised to be obedient provided his boys were being taken care of. He knew the Nathran was wearing off as he didn't feel compelled to obey. In fact, for the last two days he had sensed a gradual weaning off of the drug. Was it all part of Kira's plan to get him ready for surgery? 

L winced as the Dr stuck the needle into his arm with expert precision. He felt his eyelids droop mere seconds after the Dr had pushed the plunger. 

"That's better. Should keep you quiet while I get these tests done" The Dr hummed in satisfaction as L slumped back against the gurney, awake but utterly docile and sedated. 

"Now, it's been two days since you've been off Nathran and there is a marked change in your behavior" The Dr mumbled to himself as he read through L's notes. "It will be interesting to see if there are any chemical changes to your brain before you are put back on a higher dose… this is all looking promising indeed. 

L could hear what the Dr was saying but it sounded distant, almost like he was underwater. He wanted to open his mouth and call the Dr an evil bastard but the only thing that came out was a weak sounding gurgle. 

He felt the ground beneath him shift and he tried to open his eyes. He felt trapped as a machine closed around him. Bright lights flared to life and L choked silently on his fear. 

How long did he have before he turned into a mindless puppet like Mello? 

A low humming noise filled his ears and L felt a needle jab delicately into his foot. 

And then… 

Nothing. 

**********************

Light tossed Ryuk another apple as he leaned back in his chair and stared at his phone expectantly. As always, the Dr did not dissapoint. He had told Light he would ring at six pm with an update and, on the dot, the phone rang. 

"Hello, what news do you have for me. Has he responded well?"

"Partly, Kami-Sama. I had to sedate him when he entered the scanner as his brain was still too active to take readings from. However, once he was unconscious I completed the scans and the results are extremely positive. He is not as altered as Mello, but he is showing similar signs of progression towards docility and obedience. I am optimistic that in a few weeks time he will be ready"

Light let out an excited breath and closed his eyes. A few weeks… 

"Excellent work, Dr. Please return him to his cell. I will be spending some time with him this evening"

"Of course. He has been conditioned to react to your voice whilst he was unconscious, as per your instructions"

"Wonderful. I will finish up here and be down in a few hours" Light ended the communication and smiled in absolute satisfaction. He couldn't wait to try out L's voice conditioning… 

He managed a few more hours work but it was difficult with the impatience burning within him. He left his desk and hurried to L's new cell. It was located just a few doors away from his office, a far more convenient location as far as Light was concerned. 

The guards parted with deep bows and Light was delighted to find L was sitting awake on his bed, looking around with a dazed expression. 

"Hello, L" Light purred, deliberately keeping his voice low and soothing. 

L's head snapped towards him. Light fancied he saw a flicker of relief in L's eyes as he recognised his voice. 

"How have you been, my pet?" Light stepped closer, curious to see how L would react to him. L was not restrained at all, and if L wanted to Light knew he could be on the receiving end of a very swift and nasty kick. 

L sat back on his heels and silently watched Light approach. Light could detect tension and warriness from him but no outright hostility. 

"What have you done to me?" L rasped, tears burning in his eyes. "What have you done to them."

"Darling, hush now" Light sat down on the bed and reached out an arm to pull L closer. Interestingly, L didn't resist, even as his face tightened with irritation. 

"Don't touch me" L whimpered, horrified by the way he automatically pressed closer to Light. His body was gaining comfort by Light's presence and his words and he just knew it was because of something the Dr had done to him. 

"You don't mean that. You're pressing against me, Pup" Light chided gently and tapped L's nose. "I think you want me"

L gulped as he felt the traitorous organ between his legs stir. _'No! I don't want this!'_

"Tell you what. I'll finger you till you come and I'll whisper sweet things in your ear while I do it… but first I want you to please me"

L's blood ran cold. He knew exactly what Light wanted. 

"N… no" L forced out through gritted teeth. "You hurt Mello! I'm not… not obeying"

Light snorted softly and carded his fingers through unruly black locks. Seemed L was due for another hair cut. "If you don't, I will have Mello's hands cut off. He doesn't need them and he won't even mind me doing it…"

L shuddered and squeezed his eyes closed. Kira would do that. He reached for Light's pants and began to unfasten them. Light lifted his hips and L stared down at the throbbing cock that sprang free. 

"Suck it. Slowly"

L awkwardly draped himself over Light's lap and braced himself. 

"Go on, Darling, you know you want to suck my cock"

L shivered at the words. They sounded so sweet and calming… he stuck out his tongue and lapped at the dripping head. Light hissed and tangled his fingers in L's hair. 

"Good boy. Keep licking"

L moaned and did just that, Light's words washing over him and whiting out all other thought. He had to please Light. That was all he knew and he continued to lick gently at the straining flesh. 

"Shit, that's, Ahn! That's really good, Baby, take the tip in your mouth now"

L moaned again and descended, a throaty groan spilling from him as he felt Light's cock fill his mouth. He hungrily lashed his tongue against the tip and L whimpered as his cock throbbed between his legs. He ached on the inside too. He wasn't sure what was happening to him but all he really knew was that whenever Kira (Light) spoke, he was compelled to obey. 

"Mmm… L… fuck, your mouth is exquisite" Light sounded breathless as he gently fucked up into L's mouth. "I'm gonna fuck your face. Get on the floor. On your knees"

L released Light's cock with a slick pop and slid off the bed. The carpet felt soft beneath his knees and he looked up in confusion. What was he doing? Clarity surfaced in his eyes and he opened his mouth to protest before Light cupped his jaw. Searing amber eyes stared down into his. 

"Open your mouth and be a good boy for your master"

_'Good boy… yes… I must be good'_

L opened his mouth and let out a muffled groan as Light shoved inside. The thrusts were furious and Light gripped his head with bruising fingers. L feared he would choke as he did his best to pleasure Light and breath through his nose. 

"Yes! Oh fuck! Oh fuck!" Light let out a broken moan and fucked even faster, his hips snapping as he pushed himself further into that sweet, sucking mouth. "Gonna come, L! Swallow it for me. Fucking swallow it!"

L felt the thrusting cock abruptly cease and throb in his mouth. In instinct he began to swallow as bitter fluid spurted into his mouth. Light was groaning out his name and tugging at his hair, flexing his hips as he rocked back and forth into his mouth. 

The only thing L could think was '_I've pleased him. Thank God, I've pleased him'_

He swallowed until he felt the cock soften in his mouth. Light finally released his vice like grip and L sucked in air as the thick cock was pulled free from his mouth. 

"That was amazing, L. You did so well. Didn't I promise you I would be kind to you?"

L swayed where he knelt, the taste of Light's come filling up his senses. Everything felt so dreamy and surreal. He could only smile sweetly up at Light. His God. He'd pleased him and Light was so kind to him-

_'What?! No! No... '_

"Come here, my good boy" Light purred. He'd tucked himself away and sat down on the bed. L spotted a tube in his hand and couldn't stop the shiver of excitement that ran through him. 

"I am a good boy" L didn't recognize his voice as he stood up and walked to Light. 

"You are" Light sounded breathless with longing. "Soon you are going to be like this all the time, L. Soon you will never fight me again"

_'I can't fight you now! What are you-'_

L's thoughts were smothered as Light whispered for him to shed his clothes. His hands flew to his shirt and then his pants and boxers until he was standing before the God naked. 

"Lay down on the bed, Sweetheart, and raise your hips. I am going to make you feel so good"

L lay down and parted his legs. Light pressed a slickened finger against his puckered hole and L whimpered with sheer want. 

"Tell me what you want, L. Y ou know what I want to hear" Light whispered in a sinfully soft voice. He pressed a kiss to the bottom of L's spine. Hot, wet and teasing. 

"Please, Kira-Sama, make me come…"


	9. Broken minds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L's training continues, Kira is displeased and after a bloody spectacle, L is collared...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was written in several stages and had more than one re-write until it got to where I wanted it to be. 
> 
> it's deliberately disjointed and a bit confusing to reflect the fractured state of L's mind. I hope this makes sense.
> 
> Warnings for: none graphic torture, mind fuckery and execition in this chapter! 
> 
> As always, let me know what you think in the comments. I know a few readers in particular will probably be happy about this chapter :P

Weeks passed. 

L did not see his heirs throughout those long weeks. All he had for company was a recording of the Dr's voice saying things, at first, he didn't agree with. 

That Kira was his God and was owed his obedience. 

That Kira's divine wrath had saved the world. 

That he himself was honored to be the future consort of such a benevolent and divine god. 

Then came the water torture. He was strapped to a gurney as his mouth and lungs were filled until the point of drowning. L felt close to death so many times and yet he didn't die. Kira wanted him to live, to learn and obey. 

After the water torture the voice returned. The tape played over and over, day in day out… 

L screamed and tried to tear his room to bits to stop the voice. He scratched at his arms and legs until he was sedated. He did whatever he could to prolong his sanity but he knew, deep down, he was fighting a losing battle. 

In more lucid moments he questioned why the Dr was not with him, why Kira had not visited him and why he hadn't been permitted to see his heirs. He assumed the lobotomies had already been performed and he was both thankful for not seeing them and afraid of what they would be like now. The Dr had let slip to him that Kira was growing impatient with him and L had hoped (vainly) that it would mean Kira would kill him. 

_'It doesn't feel right for Kira to do that to me. The more I think about it the more wrong it feels. He wants me broken and to do it that way would surely feel like a cheap victory for him… '_

Then he was denied food and water for two days and all rational thought went with it. 

Time dragged by and the tiny, logical part of L's brain knew that Kira would break him. It was not a matter of if but _when_. 

The daily shower became a thing of dread. L had to be sedated and washed because he was too terrified to stand under the running water '_imdrowningimdrowning!no!'_

One morning something clicked within him and he stopped screaming. He sat and listened to the Dr's voice. Kira was kind. Kira was good. Kira was good. He'd heard it so many times it was normal now. Expected. 

_'Kira is god'_ L thought numbly. That sounded right. Kira ruled the world anyway. Kira ruled his life. 

Such as it was… was he still alive? He wasn't sure anymore. 

More days passed and L continued to listen. He discovered when he sat and listened he was given better food. When he disobeyed the lights turned off and he was left whimpering in the dark. When he shouted at Kira to kill him he was subjected to more water torture… 

He didn't know it but by day 21 of such treatment he was begging for Kira to come and visit him. The drugs control over him had peaked and he was caught in a desperate web of arousal, confusion and self-loathing during more lucid moments. 

And those lucid moments were growing further and further apart… 

It was on day 28 when Light finally returned to him. But he wasn't alone. 

L, who was shivering miserably on his bed, looked up and did a double take at what he saw. His three heirs all dressed in the navy blue uniform of Kira's elite guards. All of their faces were serene, glazed… 

L shifted his gaze to Matt. His level headed Matt… 

He was gone. Replaced by yet another drone of Kira. 

"They have defected to my cause, L, they are mine now" Light's voice sounded smug but L, weak as he was, detected a hint of well concealed fury in Light's eyes. His nemesis was trying to sound pleased but L knew that slight frown and the downturn of Light's lip. He'd studied him often enough. 

It was soul destroying to look at those once bright, fiercely intelligent boys and see nothing in their eyes. As far as L was concerned they were already dead, but at least they were no longer suffering. They were not aware of him or their capture anymore. As dark as it was to admit it there was comfort in their oblivion. 

"L, look at me"

L looked up automatically. Kira was God… bad things would happen if he disobeyed his god, he knew that. He could feel the threat of water filling his lungs. He couldn't risk it. 

"Your heirs will be safe and well provided for in their new roles, as will you be. I have a proposition for you. Come with me and kneel by my throne and publically announce your servitude to me. In return I will keep them alive. You have my word, L"

L scoffed. He felt the ghost of defiance rise within him "Your word… what use is that? You've already killed them!"

"You no longer have the option of disobedience, L. You know that. Even I am held to account. What I say in front of my followers will be expected of me and your heirs are far from dead. Death is waiting for another and I think you will want to see it. Now, come"

Slowly, L climbed off the bed and approached Kira. Death was waiting for another? L thought about the blank eyed boys who had once been his heirs. He thought about Kira killing them and felt tears sting his eyes. It was selfish of him, he knew, but he couldn't bear to see it. "Don't kill them… K-Kira-Sama. Don't kill them and I will kneel"

"Good. You're finally learning, my stubborn one. Guards. Escort L" Kira commanded. He had a smile on his face now and looked far more content than what he had when he first entered the room. L wondered if that was a good thing or a bad thing for himself. 

L didn't protest or struggle as his heirs caught his arms and marched him out of the doors. A numb, sick feeling had settled over him. He looked at their glazed expressions and wondered again if it was easier to just forget… 

What was that old saying? Ignorance is bliss? 

L didn't have time to ponder any longer as the heavy doors to the throne room were pulled open. Countless hundreds of people were gathered in the stunning, scarlet bedecked room. L stared in astonishment at the gold throne situated on a dias and the flaming torches spilling light across the cavernous room. It was like something out of the middle ages. It was grand, intimidating and majestic all at once. 

Cold lucidity washed over L as he ducked his head. He could feel hundreds of curious gazes on him as he followed Light down the center of the room to the dias. Of course Light sat down on the throne… 

"Kneel next to me, L"

L knelt. He felt cold sweat tickle down the back of his neck and the air burned in his lungs. Time seemed to slow down as a loud banging and then a scream broke the silence. 

"Thank you for assembling so quickly. We are gathered to witness the public execution of Dr Nathan Normans. He has failed his God and nearly endangered the life of his pet"

L cringed. He had publicly been branded nothing more than a pet. An animal… however, despite his shame and embarrassment, he was intrigued. Nearly endangered him? It must have something to do with the lobotomy? 

The Dr was escorted out from a side door and L couldn't stop himself from looking up expectantly. The Dr was going to die! The desire for blood rose within him. The Dr was the one who authorized the water torture. Kira wouldn't do that. Kira was god. 

_'Yes he would! Stop thinking that! Stop it!'_

"He performed lobotomies on the three guards you see standing before you. They were almost successful save for one thing. It eradicated their genius. To me, destroying my pet's mind is akin to killing him. L's mind was what attracted me to him. If I had let the Dr perform the Lobotomy on L, I would have been left with a soulless puppet with no genius left. I would have been… disappointed and distraught"

"Kill him, Kira-Sama!"

"He deserves death!"

"Kira-Sama must never be disappointed!"

L sluggishly looked around at the crowd. They were all passionate in their defence and adoration of their God. 

"Thank you for your work, Dr,/ but I'm afraid your usefulness has come to an end. L's training shall continue but it will continue my way. You're failure on those guards will be your last."

"Kira-Sama! Please, I beg you-"

Light scoffed and nodded his head at two crimson robed figures loitering near the doors. One of them had an axe. 

_'Shit, he's going to execute him like they did in medieval times! An Axe and a block!'_ L felt morbid fascination as the heavy wooden block was laid out. He couldn't even deny that he was excited and happy about seeing the Dr die. 

"Kira-" L turned to Light and noted how excited he appeared. He was looking forward to the bloody spectacle about to be played out before them. Like the dramatic and almost theatrical atmosphere of his throne room, Kira's method of execution was to be a grim but fascinating public spectacle. 

"Hush, L, your time to speak will be soon" Light reached out a hand and ran his fingers through his hair as one would soothe an anxious pet. L cringed when he realized Kira's touch was soothing. '_He's your God'_ whispered one part of his mind. L squeezed his eyes shut and thought back '_Shut the fuck up!' _

"You nearly cost me his mind. That is unforgivable. There will be no mercy for you" Kira's voice was cold. "This is the price of betrayal"

"But I didn't know! I didn't know it would affect them that way, please, Kami-Sama! I can still help you-"

"Cut out his tongue!"

L blanched as Mello and Matt stepped forward and restrained the Dr. Near, his shy, thoughtful Near, extracted a knife from his belt and calmly pulled the struggling man's mouth open. Ryuk swooped in to assist and soon blood curdling screams rang around the room as Near cut out the man's tongue. 

Cheers erupted from the crowd and L squeezed his eyes shut in distress. He hated that Dr and part of him was happy that this was to be his fate. What kind of person did that make him? 

The Dr, gibbering and making guttural noises of distress, was forced to his knees. His head was placed on the block and Matt and Mello held him down. L couldn't look away even if he wanted to. The Axe was brought high into the air and there was a murmur of excitement that swept through the crowd. Then the Axe was falling… 

"Die! Traitor!"

"Kill him, Kira-Sama!"

The axe hit home and L was shocked at how much blood there was. The axe sank clearly through the Dr's neck and decapitated him in one fell swoop. Blood pumped out from the bloody stump of his neck and spilled onto the ground. Soon the room was filled with the acrid scent of iron and death. 

Mikami calmly stepped through the blood and L watched him approach the throne. He was flanked by Takada and Misa. All three where Kira's most loyal followers and his lovers. Without realising it, L pressed closer against Kira's leg. 

"Shh. They aren't going to hurt you, L. No one but myself is allowed to hurt you, and even then it will only be necessary for correction. I've had a collar designed for you…"

L's eyes widened as he saw the silver collar in Mikami's hands and suddenly he realised all three of them were wearing a collar of a similar design. Takada's was a shiny dark blue, Mikami's was copper and Amane's was a burnished rose gold. Why hadn't he noticed this before?! 

"Platinum for you, L" Light sighed dreamily. "Only the most precious metal is worthy of you. I will publically announce my intention of keeping your heirs alive if you kneel and pledge yourself to me. You will wear the collar and attend me at all times. I want your mind as well as your body, L, and I will have it"

L licked his dry lips. "No lobotomy?" He whispered hopefully. 

"No, my pet. That will not be your fate. I admit I… was misguided by the Dr in thinking such an action was suitable for you. You are not broken, not yet, but you are close"

L dug his nails into his palms until he felt the skin give way. He'd sucked Kira's cock. He'd begged to be allowed to come. He'd cried out for Kira to save him in between mouthfuls of water… what was this compared to what he had already endured? 

"Wear my collar or that axe will find its home in three more necks" Light's voice was soft but lethal. They locked eyes before L slid his gaze to the floor in defeat. 

L nodded his head and turned to Mikami. The man smiled coldly at what he considered to be a pet unworthy of his God's devotion. 

"Do you swear on the lives of your former heirs and before all these witnesses here present that you submit to your master, the divine and holy Kira-Sama?"

"I… I swear" L forced out around a throat that felt like it was closing up. He looked at the blood-spattered forms of his heirs as the cold metal was placed around his neck. 

Loud cheers erupted as Light stood and hooked a chain onto the collar. 

"L is mine" Light's voice was soft and almost mocking. L said nothing but continued to kneel silently at Kira's feet. 

_'For as long as I have some part of myself left… I am my own…but Kira is god. He is god. I am lost. Collared. What do I do now? The boys! '_

"Come, L, it is time for your real training to begin" Light tugged gently on the chain. "Stand up and walk"

Dizzily, L climbed to his feet. He was grateful that Kira hadn't demanded he _crawl_. 

As they left the great hall and that sickening scent of blood, L listened intently as Kira talked to him. 

"Things are going to change now, L. You will be staying with me at all times. That collar you have on has implants that will inject you with a fast acting sedative should you try and attack me"

L nodded his head to indicate he was listening. 

"I know you are a duplicitous little thing, L, and that some of your obedience is feigned, but that will soon change…"

L said nothing. There was nothing to say. He couldn't argue against it. H e was changing and he was confused and conflicted. 

Kira was his god and Kira was his enemy. He didn't know where one ended and the other began anymore. 


	10. Cruel Kindness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light further manipulates L by exploiting his hatred for the Dr and discovers Kindness can cut sharper than a knife...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy, Light's being evil again 😈
> 
> Skyped with OBN and she suggested the deliciously smutty jealousy idea, so be prepared for Light using Mikami to get at L soon. The hair washing thing was mine and I have to say I think this is one of our fave chapters yet! ❤

Soon after he had publicly knelt before Kira and received his collar, L's life changed. He was no longer a prisoner in a cell yet remained a prisoner nonetheless. He accompanied Light wherever he went. He sat through meetings with foreign dignitaries and Kira's closest followers. He knelt by the side of Kira's bath as the young god lounged in sweet smelling water. L tried to contain his shakes as the water splashed over the sides of the tub. 

Days passed in a haze of misery and confusion for L. He thought he would be happier now that the Dr had gone but he felt rather numb and despondent. He didn't even bother to try and rebel against Kira. When he did think about saying something nasty his thoughts held his tongue. Kira was god. If he disobeyed god he would be punished and so would the guards. He hated thinking of them like that but that is what they now were. Mindless drones… 

L was too distraught to realise what was happening, but as the days passed he unconsciously found himself growing closer and closer to Kira. Kira was his main focal point in life now. Even though he hated it, L continued to kneel as Light bathed each night, just as he was doing now. 

"L"

L jolted and looked up from his place on the floor. Kira was smiling at him as he lounged in his golden bath. 

"Why don't you come in here and join me?"

L immediately began to shake. "Please… no. The water…"

"Ah yes, I know you are frightened of that, poor pup, but you don't need to be afraid when you're with me. I will keep you safe. Come on, you need a bath"

L slowly climbed to his feet and hesitantly pulled his clothes off. His heart hammered against his ribcage as he stripped. He was terrified but could do nothing but obey as he felt that hot amber gaze burn over his skin. 

"You've lost weight. Not unexpected considering the… treatment you've been undertaking. Did you know that the torture you endured was not of my ordering? You may think of me as just a killer but I am not that cruel, L. The Dr was cruel and now he has been punished. He has messed with your beautiful mind and made everything mixed up for you. I've only ever wanted to keep you safe and happy. That is why I killed him… "

Fully naked, L stared at Kira in mute surprise. Not of his ordering? Could it really be true that it was all the Doctors fault? What about his boys? Hadn't Kira said he only captured them to practice lobotomy on them… 

"Poor thing. He's told you so many lies hasn't he? Told you that I was the one responsible for what happened to your heirs?" Light's handsome face was heartbreaking in its apparent honesty and L quivered. 

Had he imagined Kira saying that? Had he imagined everything? Was he losing his mind? 

Or had the Dr been toying with it all this time until he had no idea what was real or not… 

"I promised you I would be kind to you, L. Yes, some harsh words and punishment are necessary when you disobey, but… I want to be kind to you. You deserve kindness" Light continued softly. "Come to me, L, and I will protect you"

For some unexpected reason, L felt tears sting his eyes. Kindness… what was that? Had Watari been kind to him? Had his heirs? He felt mesmerized by that earnest amber gaze as Light reached out for his hand and guided him into the bath. L shuddered as he felt the warm water lap at his skin and suddenly scrambled to get out of the water. 

"No! No! Please, let me out. I can't! I can't-"

Light held his thrashing body was surprising strength until L wore himself out. Tired and emotionally wrung out, L slumped against him and forced himself to heave in great lungfuls of oxygen. 

"Shhhh, L, you've done so well. You're so brave" Kira whispered soothingly into his ear as he stroked down his slick back. L shivered as he felt smooth nails scrape against his skin. Kira's touch always felt so good… 

Slowly, L's racing heart calmed down and he relaxed against Kira's body. It felt nice being held even by his enemy. His eyes flew open at the thought. Enemy? Kira had just promised to be kind to him. That wasn't something enemies did! 

"I don't know what's real anymore" L admitted in a small voice as he felt those skilled fingers slip over his hips and run up his sides. 

"I will teach you what is real, L, I will guide you. All you have to do is listen and learn, okay?"

That sounded easy. L nodded his head and gasped as he felt Light's hand curled around the flaccid flesh between his lungs. Arousal instantly flooded through his veins and he bit his lip as he felt himself grow hard. 

"I need to wash your hair, L, it's rather matted. I know you will be afraid, but if I keep touching you it will make it better. From now on we are going to take baths together and I will make you feel so good you will forget about the torture and pain that horrible man put you through"

L opened his mouth to speak but cried out instead as he felt a warm wave of water wash over his head. He panicked and tried to thrash but those elegant fingers wrapped tightly around his cock and began to move. 

"Uuuh… Ah… " L stopped his thrashing and spread his legs a little wider to give the other man easier access. All he could think about was the pleasure as Kira continued to stroke him. 

"That's it, such a good boy" Kira purred as he used his free hand to massage some shampoo into L's hair. "Are you feeling good, my lovely one?"

"Aaahh… yes… feels good" L sighed, hips bucking into that magical touch as the slow pumps grow firmer and faster. Kira continued to tease and toy with his cock until L was squirming in his lap. Words were on his lips and he let them out without thinking. 

"Please, Kira-Sama, make me come"

Light closed his eyes in delight. Finally. Progress. A gentler hand after such trauma was what was needed now. After so much physical, mental and emotional pain, L needed to be reassured and treated with kindness now. L craved it. 

_'I will break you, L, I'll break you with sweet words and soft kisses until you give in to me entirely. You're almost there. I can see the confusion and fear in your eyes. Even you cannot withstand all that has happened to you unscathed. Your sense of self and your beliefs are balancing on a knife edge. One final push and you will fall'_

Light smiled as he washed the shampoo out of L's hair. His pup was so preoccupied with pleasure he had done nothing but flinch as water rained down over his face. 

"I need to condition your hair and then I will make you come, okay?"

"Please…" L panted in desperation. It felt like there was fire rubbing through his veins and when Light rubbed the sensitive head and glands of his cock he let out a loud cry of pleasure. 

Light paused in his task and smiled evilly. "I will need both hands to work this conditioner into these tangles. Why don't you pleasure yourself for me while I do it. You are not allowed to come until I make you, though. Do you understand"

"Yes!" L squirmed and reached for his cock. "Please, Kira!"

Light groaned and pressed his hard cock against L's back. The urge to take him was excruciating and he knew he'd have to call upon the services of his followers again… but then maybe that would work in his favor… 

Light swiftly began to massage the conditioner into L's hair and work through the tangles. L's breathing was ragged and the rhythmic splashing of water as he stroked himself were music to Light's ears. Yes, he would definitely need to use Mikami tonight. Maybe all three of them. 

"Ah! Ki-Kira… Close" L stuttered out. His hand stilled as he squeezed himself. He wanted to come so badly but Kira had said he couldn't. 

"Well done" Light cooed as he saw what L was doing. "You only need to be patient for a little longer. I'm going to wash this out now. Just squeeze gently and wait for me like my good boy"

L jerkily nodded his head and waited for the water to rush over his head. The throbbing between his legs and the ache of his arousal helped to distract him from it and soon Kira was dragging a comb through his clean hair and praising his bravery. 

It was nice but L wasn't interested in that. He needed to come so badly he was shaking. "Please ... " he whimpered pitifully. It didn't occur to him that he could bring about his orgasam with his hand. Kira had said not to stroke and so he hadn't. The extra dose of Nathran B that seeped into his skin through the collar was silently taking over him and in a way even L couldn't detect. 

"What a good, patient boy" Light gently pushed L's trembling hand away and resumed stroking him. "You can come now. I want you to feel good" Light suddenly quickened his pace and he felt L abruptly seize in his arms. 

L spasmed and cried out, come spurting out of him and his orgasam hitting with such force and freocity that everything seemed to turn white. He felt pleasure so perfect it brought tears to his eyes. It felt like a life-changing religious experience. He had been touched by god and it felt so incredible! All too soon the pleasure began to fade and L whimpered in distress. He wanted to feel like that again but he was suddenly so tired. His eyes rolled back in his head and he blacked out and slumped into Kira's arms. 

Ignoring his own painful arousal, Light held L close and stared down at that peaceful looking face. He felt sheer triumph at what had just happened and wanted to bask in his glory. The water was cooling around them and L's come was floating around. Light decided it was time to get out of the bath and commence stage 2 of his seduction of L. 

He'd make him want to be his lover and make him want to experience pleasure by his touch again. 

Mikami, Takada and Misa would help. 

Light carefully climbed out of the bath. He dried L's body but did not dress him before he carried L to the bed and gently put him down. As he dried himself off he picked up his phone and commanded each of his followers to come to his room… 

******************

Consciousness returned slowly to L. He scrunched up his nose as something soft and ticklish fell across his face. As awareness came back to him he realised he was hearing soft moans and pants… 

'What… what's happening?' L forced his sluggish mind into action and opened his eyes. As his vision adjusted in the dim room his eyes widened at the spectacle before him. 

Kira was lying on his back while Misa Amane perched on top of him and rode him. She was the one who was moaning and sighing and the hair across his face was hers each time she rocked it fell across him. He was lying just inches away. 

L was speechless and didn't know what to do. Kira's eyes locked on his and Kira smiled at him. 

L was suddenly conscious of being naked and scooted further away. When Misa let out a high pitched wail he scrambled off the bed and onto the floor. He did not want to be punished for interrupting Kira's… time with the others. 

From his new position on the floor he could see two other figures in the room. Mikami had Takada bent over the table and was pounding into her hard and fast. It was like they were on display, as even though they fucked one another, both were staring at Light hungrily. 

L couldn't help the feeling of jealousy that spread through him like poison. 

"Stop" Light commanded in a breathless voice. "My pet has been disturbed from his sleep. Come up here, L. Don't be shy"

L felt his cheeks burn as he slowly stood up and climbed back on the bed. He flinched as Light reached out a hand to him. 

"Shh, L, you're okay. Are you going to try and go back to sleep or do you want to join?" 

L couldn't help but feel aroused. The scent of sweat and sex hung thickly in the room and despite his earlier orgasam he felt his cock begin to harden. 

"I…I… don't know" L finally whispered. "I don't want them" he added. Mikami narrowed his eyes at the favourite and wished that he was wearing that shiny platinum collar. Judging by the looks on Misa and Takada's faces they were thinking along similar lines. 

"Do you want them to go, my pet? Do you want it to just be me and you?" Light asked kindly. 

"Yes!" L blurted out. "I don't want them here. I don't want them touching you or looking at me! Please send them away…"

Misa let out a huff as Light shoved her off him. A warning flash in Light's eyes were enough to silence her and she meekly accepted his rejection. "You three may leave and continue on your own. My pet and I will spend some time together"

Mikami, Takada and Misa quietly left the room. Only when they were outside did they let their distress be known. Their arousal vanished and they each fled to their own rooms. Without their God to witness they wanted nothing to do with one another. 

L felt a strange feeling as he watched the door close behind them. He felt… empowered. Valued. 

Kira had sent them away because he desired them to be gone. He turned his wide eyes to Light and swallowed thickly at the sight of that huge erection that twitched against Light's stomach. 

"Feel better now they've gone?"

L nodded his head. He felt guilty that Light was still so aroused. "Should… should I…" he couldn't say the words and part of him was screaming in horror as he inched closer to Kira. "Should I use my mouth?"

Kira's eyes gleamed with triumph as he nodded his head. "Yes, Pet, that would make me feel better. That would be very kind of you" Light tugged off the condom and stared at L as he let his words and actions sink in.

L's eyes widened at the word Kind. It set something off in his mind and he quickly scooted between Kira's legs. He had to be kind because if he was kind he wouldn't be hurt anymore. The boys wouldn't be hurt anymore. The Dr hadn't been kind and the Dr was now dead. Kira had done that for him. Kira was kind to him… 

"Oh, L, that's so good" Light sighed as he felt L delicately lap at his slit. That clever tongue was easily making him feel much more pleasure than Misa's body did. Light lost himself to fantasies of finally sinking inside L's tight asshole and fucking him as L hollowed his cheeks and drew him down to the root. L gagged a little but he had enough experience by now to remember to breath through his nose as he slowly began to bob his head. 

Light twined his fingers through L's hair and gently dictated the pace. L was too vulnerable and fragile right now for him to fuck up into his mouth like he wanted but there was something sweet about this faltering, slow blow job Light liked. L had offered to do it and as expected L had been jealous. The next time he would fuck Mikami in front of L and really explore that jealousy. 

L chocked a little as Light thrust his hips at that exciting thought and Light murmured an apology, gently stroking L's face. He felt that glorious construction around him as L swallowed and sighed as he fell over the edge and spurted out his come. It was a gentle, sweet orgasam and very satisfying. L swallowed each mouthful without a word of complaint and Light petted his hair throughout.

When L pulled off his spent cock and looked up at him, Light was delighted to see confusion and loathing in those brilliant eyes. 

_'Why did I do that?!'_ L opened his mouth to speak but found no words. His eyes filled with tears and his erection began to fade.

"Oh, don't cry, silly thing. Come here and I will make you feel better" Light pulled L to him and wrapped a hand around the softening cock, "I'll make you addicted to me" he whispered into L's ear as he slowly began to stroke the hardening length. 

L closed his eyes and shuddered as Kira's touch and scent filled up his senses. 

"Oh god" L squirmed as he felt a finger brush against his entrance. 

"That's right, I am your god" Light chuckled darkly as L shuddered in his arms. "All you have to do is give in…"


	11. Finally mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light takes L on a date with Mikami, knowing full well L's jealousy will come into play. Light gets what he wants when L finally breaks and begs to be fucked by him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, folks. It's time for L to finally break and for Kira/L sexy times 😏

Waking up next to L was easily the best part of Light's day. He'd continued his steady seduction (as well as upping the Nathran dosage) for two weeks now and he was very pleased with the results. He didn't even have to order L to follow him around anymore, he simply did it. 

L still maintained his stubborn streak and would go through fits of temper, but they were getting few and far between as well. For the most part, L was perfectly obedient. 

"L, it's time to wake up"

L's eyes snapped open almost instantly and Light rolled his eyes. Sometimes L would forget where he was and just look around in complete confusion. The inner workings of the mind where a minefield and trying to dissect a mind as brilliant as L's provided him with daily challenges. 

"L, today I will be spending some time with Mikami"

Irritation flashed through L's stormy eyes and Light smiled at the sight of it. It was time to see if that seed of jealousy he had planted a fortnight ago had borne fruit. 

"You are to accompany me but remain quiet during my visit. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Kira-Sama" the mumbled response was almost petulant and Light adored it. 

"If you're a good boy I will make sure you have sugar today" 

L stared at him blankly as he considered his options. "And no bath?"

"No, pet, you need to bath daily. That is non-negotiable. Nice try though" Light slipped out of bed and tugged the covers down. "Now get up"

L grumbled under his breath but climbed out of bed. He didn't even consider disobeying. He couldn't risk having water fill his lungs or their lives. He was struggling to remember who they were, but he knew they were important. Whoever these people were he needed to be good and to behave for their sake. 

If only he could remember their faces… 

"What?" Light paused in his task of fixing his hair and peered at L. There was a mask of sadness on that pale face and it struck him as rather beautiful. L was at his most attractive when the mask shattered and real emotions coloured his features. His eyes were especially expressive, and Light was both thrilled and saddened to see them fill with tears. 

"Who do I love?"

It wasn't an unexpected question. Light had been working diligently to push out all thoughts of the heirs from L's mind and replace them with himself. He was going to be the only one L thought of or cared about. L's love was his and he wasn't about to share. Voice conditioning and subtle manipulation had worked surprisingly quickly. He made sure to keep 'the guards' away from L and limit his contact with the outside world. By focusing L's attention on just two things: fear and pleasure, he was gaining results far quicker than he thought possible. Without the Dr's meddling his methods were triumphing. 

"You love me" Light replied automatically. "I am your god"

L tilted his head. It didn't ring completely true to him. He certainly felt something for Kira but that veered wildly between lust, disgust, affection, sheer hatred and fear. He wasn't sure how he was feeling in this present moment. Perhaps ambivalence? 

"Say it, L" Light's eyes narrowed dangerously and L swallowed thickly, already feeling himself begin to shake. Fear took over at the sight of those deadly eyes narrowed. 

"I love you" L whispered whilst thinking _'Please don't stand me under the shower again. I'll be good!'_

"That's better. Of course you do. You're just… adapting" Light resumed primping his hair. "Do you think you can handle a shower this morning?"

"No! Please…"

Light nodded at the empathetic answer. It was more important than ever to treat L with kindness now. Forcing him to shower when it terrified him would be counterproductive. Besides, bath time had been established as associated with pleasure in L's mind and he was content to keep up that conditioning technique for both of their benefits. 

"Alright, but you need to wash well"

L nodded his head. He could deal with water on his body just not over his head. His face flushed as he thought about all the depraved things that happened in the bath. Kira's fingers on him and inside him… 

"Time to wash" Light nodded towards the bathroom door. During this process of rehabilitation he had to remind L about a lot of basic tasks. L would hover by his side expecting to be told what to do. Light didn't mind that though, he found the whole training process fascinating. L was blossoming before his eyes in a way even he hadn't thought possible at first. 

Startled out of his thoughts, L meekly went into the bathroom to begin yet another day as Kira's… Pet. 

*******************

Mikami was not a stupid man. He knew exactly what his god's true intentions were with this 'visit' but he wouldn't (couldn't) deny his god anything, even if it meant being used to inspire jealousy and obedience in his god's favourite pet. 

L was attempting to read as he enjoyed a drink with his beautiful Kami-Sama. L hadn't bothered even looking at his lunch until Light had ordered him to eat it in a stern, barking tone. Mikami glanced at L, wondering what it was about the dark haired young man his god found so captivating. He was passably attractive in Mikami's opinion but not stunning like Kira was. Perhaps it was his mind Kira was taken with? 

"He's been so disobedient today, Mikami" Light sighed, a playful smile curling at his lips as L continued to ignore them, "Quite the troublesome pup. I can only hope in time he will behave as impeccably as you do"

L flicked his eyes over to Light and gave him a bland look. He was feeling dizzy and for some odd reason, anxious. He popped another cherry tomato in his mouth and chewed on it sullenly as he tried to ignore Kira and Mikami's little lunch date the best he could. 

"He should realise what an _honor_ it is to be collared by you, Kira-Sama" Mikami simpered in reply, his pulse already racing with anticipation of what was to come. So what if Kira was using him, he would take whatever he could get for however long he could get it. He knew once L was truly broken his god was unlikely to bed neither himself or Misa and Takada again. For reasons he couldn't claim to understand, it was all about L Lawliet for his beautiful Kami-Sama. 

"He should indeed" Light's eyes practically simmered as they fell on Mikami's face. "Caring for such an unruly pet is rather draining. I trust you will make me feel better?"

"Yes, Kami!" Mikami was on his feet in a heartbeat. "I'm yours to command!"

L rolled his eyes at the simpering tone and turned a page in his book. He would not react. He needed to use this quiet time to try and figure out what the fuck was going on. He needed to remember who 'they' were and decipher what his feelings for Kira actually were. Some days he was more aware than others. Some days he screamed and raved at Kira. He felt nothing but hatred for him on those days. But then Kira touched him and whispered soft, sweet things and like meltwater those harsh feelings flowed away. 

Memories were slipping away and L felt lost and confused every single day. The collar around his neck reminded him he belonged to Kira. That was all he seemed to remember. 

_Kira_. 

Wet kissing sounds and the rustle of clothing being removed forced L to look up from his book once more. Kira was kissing Mikami and pushing him against the wall, one hand already up his shirt. 

L felt rattled but lowered his gaze. Just like before he decided it was best to not interrupt. Kira had told him to be quiet so that is what he'd do. 

"Kami… Oooh…"

L gritted his teeth in irritation as the breathy moan reached his ears. He felt that familiar stirring between his legs and squeezed his eyes shut. Why was he getting aroused when he felt awkward and annoyed?! 

"Lose the pants and bend over the table" 

"Yes, Kami-Sama!"

L bit his lip. The table was directly in front of him! He kept his eyes closed as he heard them approach. 

Those wet sounds grow louder and soon pleasured groans filled L's ears. He wasn't aware of biting so hard on his lip, but he could taste blood in his mouth. 

_'He's supposed to be doing that to me!'_ L felt helpless in his misery as the fleshy sounds of bodies joining joined into the orchestra of misery he was experiencing. 

"Oh, fuck me, Kami! Please fuck me!"

L's eyes snapped open and a growl left his throat. He was seized by a sudden urge to claim Kira for his own and get Mikami the hell away from him. 

Kira was thrusting his cock in and out of Mikami's body, but his eyes were fixed on L. L swallowed thickly at the challenge he saw in them. Kira wanted him to react. 

_'Come on, L, you know what to do. Obey your body and accept me as your mate'_ Light thought as he gripped Mikami's neck and pushed him further down into the table in an act of outright aggression. Mikami whimpered but took the harsh treatment without complaint. 

"Stop it!" L finally burst out. "Stop doing this to me!" He clutched at his hair and tried to center himself but it was impossible. His blood was roaring in his body and all he could think was how wrong it was that Kira was fucking Mikami. He was his! He loved Kira and he was Kira's pet. It should be him bent over that table! 

"Make me stop it" Light countered challengingly. "Come on, L, you know what to do"

L could do nothing but scream inside his own mind as he stepped forward. He wanted to stop what was happening but he also didn't want to stop it. He wanted, more than anything, to understand what was happening to him and why he felt so _fractured_. 

Mikami looked up in surprise just seconds before he felt a fist slam into his face. He was knocked out instantly and Light laughed in delight as he slumped over the table, his broken nose bleeding onto the light wood. 

"Well done, L" Kira nonchalantly pulled himself out of Mikami's lax body and smirked at L. "Do you want to take his place?"

"Yes" '_No! Nononono!'_

"Come here then, My pet. This is _long_ overdue…" 

L swallowed thickly as he moved the final step towards Kira. Mikami was roughly shoved to the ground and then he was in Kira's arms and he was kissing him. L's head spun as hands unfastened his clothing. His heartbeat roared in his ears as he dimly realised he was about to lose his virginity to Kira. It felt wrong but right as well. 

Time seemed to slow down as he felt slick fingers prod inside him. 

"Good boy, this is what you're made for" Kira's voice was smug and breathless with excitement as he stretched L out, "Does it feel good?"

"Yes" L arched his back as he felt a spark of pleasure dance up his spine. He wasn't aware of it but he was crying and shaking as Kira continued to slowly tease him. 

"I'm not just going to fuck you, L. I told you before, I'll only fuck you when you beg me for it. So… beg me"

L whimpered in misery as those magic fingers slipped out of his body. He suddenly felt so empty and he ached to feel Kira inside him. Something was holding him back though, and he stubbornly shook his head. 

"Stubborn" Light brought his hand down lightly on L's ass and delivered a stinging swat. "Try again"

"No!" L spasmed in pain as a mild electric shock was issued from the collar around his neck. '_What are you doing, you idiot? You can't disobey him!'_ "Pl…" L clamped his teeth down on his ravaged bottom lip. "Please… fuck me, Kira-Sama" it was the final break and when it happened it was so subtle and soft. L laid his head down on the table and simply gave in. Four months of fighting and now it was over. He couldn't fight anymore and he didn't even know why or what he was fighting for in the first place. 

Tears spilled from his eyes as he heard the god roll of his condom and slick up his cock. "More. Beg me more, my L"

"Please! Please make this all stop I can't take it anymore! Please, Kira-Sama! I can't do this it hurts!" L arched his back and spread his legs. "Please fuck me, Kira-Sama!"

_'There it is! This is the moment I will finally break him. Once I've fucked him and my seed is in his body, it's all over. Finally… **I've** **won**!'_ Light pressed against L and bent him over the table. "I'm going to fuck you now, L, and once I do you're going to be mine. No more fighting me. No more disobedience. You. Are. _Mine_" Light pushed inside the tight body and jerked his hips with each word, sinking deliciously deeper inside that tight sheath. 

L scrambled at the table with clawed hands as pain and panic smashed into him. It felt too much! He was too full and it hurt! And yet he felt a sick sense of enjoyment and satisfaction that he had usurped Mikami's place and that Kira wanted him. 

"Ki… Kira-Sama!" L rasped out, "It hurts!" It felt like he was being torn in two and he sobbed in pain as Kira kept pushing into him. "Please! Kami!"

"It's… Because you're so tight, L, and this is your first time. Just.. Ah! Relax and breath" Light panted out as he resisted the urge to just slam inside the sinfully tight virginal body. L was incredible and so much better than Mikami could ever aspire to be. Now that L was his in body he had no intentions of sleeping with the others again. They'd be a downgrade and that simply wasn't acceptable. He was a god and god's got what they wanted, even if it took four months of blood, sweat and tears to get it. 

Light felt himself suddenly overcome with emotion and peppered kisses along L's trembling shoulder blades. "I'm sorry, Baby, I didn't mean to hurt you. Just breath. You're so good for me, L, just breathe for me…" 

It had the desired effect. L stopped tensing and Light groaned as he felt the tight vice gripping his cock loosen. He slipped forward until his balls came flush with L's ass and he heaved a shuddering breath. He'd done it. He was finally inside his L. 

L panted for breath as he tried to adjust to the overwhelming sensations of fullness and possession he was feeling. Kira was pressed tightly against his back but was not thrusting, rather, he appeared to be waiting for him to relax and get used to being penetrated. 

"I love you so much, L. You're so special to me" a wet kiss was placed on his neck and L shivered. It was nice to feel loved… his breath hitched as Light began to move again. It still ached but the pain from before was fading fast. Now he was relaxed he could feel his body opening to accept the thick cock pushing inside him. It was starting to feel good. Kira lavished praise and affection on him as he gently began to thrust and soon L found himself rocking back in time to meet the god's hips, mouth hanging open in a gape of pleasure as Light moved inside him. 

"Ah! Ah, Kira!" L spasmed when the tip of Light's cock pushed against his prostate. The pleasure was so intense he felt his breath catch in his throat and heat flare through his body. 

"That the spot, Love?" Light moved faster, aiming for the spot that made L whine and whimper his name. He grabbed L's hips and began to pound into him fast, his lust too searing to take it slow any longer. Four months he had waited for this moment. He'd never lost faith or confidence in himself but he had nearly lost L to the Dr… 

"L! You feel so good!" Light cried out as he tried to drag the pleasure out. He was so close to coming and every lunge into L's beautiful body pushed him closer and closer. "Tell me you love me!"

"I! Ah! L-love you!" L stammered out, his body rocking with the force of Kira's thrusts into him. "I love you! Oh god, I feel… I'm going to-"

The words pushed Light over the edge and he came with a loud groan, head tipping back as he filled L's body with his come. His hips snapped and forced L's own orgasam out of him. He felt L clamp around him and L's loud cries of pleasure heightened his own. It seemed endless and Light knew in this moment of perfect bliss that he was blessed. 

Light slumped weakly over L's back, breath coming in exhausted pants, but L was still shuddering in orgasam so he reached for L's cock and stroked him. He relished L's shudders as he spent himself all over the table. L's legs were shaking and the smell of sweat and come hung thickly in the air as they finally came down from their highs and collapsed against one another. 

"Oh fuck. Oh fuck that was amazing, L" Light licked at L's sweat-covered skin. "Only you. From now on it's only you, I swear. Sleep now, Pet. When you wake up everything will be alright because now you're mine"

L attempted to lift his head to reply but found he didn't have the strength. He felt relieved it would be only him but he felt tired and drained as well. His eyes slipped closed and he drifted on the edge of sleep. He could feel Kira's come deep inside his body and it felt right. The collar that adorned his neck suddenly injected him with something and L was rendered unconscious immediately. 

Light smiled darkly as the collar's locking mechanism sprang free and he reached out to pull the collar of L's neck. 

When L next awoke he would _ask_ for his collar back. 

Mikami was stirring but Light paid him no attention as he carefully pulled himself free from L's body and examined him for tears. There was a small amount of blood on his cock and Light couldn't help but feel a little guilty. He'd been overzealous and that had been L's first time but L wasn't seriously hurt. He'd lavish L with affection and make love to his prized pet and finally there would be peace between them. 

When L awoke he would awake as his loyal and obedient pet. The Nathran inside him would react with his semen and override any negative emotions L had about him. From now on he was L's god in word and deed. 

"Kami…" Mikami hazily pulled himself up from the floor. "What…?"

"L punched you. It was a good punch as well. Now, please be quiet, my pet is resting" Light dismissed Mikami as he righted his clothin g and then scooped L up into his arms. He'd take them to their room and once L had slept he'd give him a nice bath before the next stage of his rehabilitation began… 


	12. The favourite

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L wakes up and everything changes. Mikami feels threatened by the new favourite with good reason...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> He's broken! It's finally happened! 😱😂

Light was writing in his Death Note and keeping an eye on world news when Takada came to visit. He sighed in annoyance and glanced over to L, who was still fast asleep on the bed. 

_'Wake up soon, L'_ he stroked the platinum collar before placing it on his desk and getting up to answer the door. 

Takada bowed at the sight of him but Light, who had always been able to watch and read people well, immediately noticed the tension in her as she spotted L dozing on the bed. Her jealousy was as thinly veiled as Mikami's was. Misa, the idiot, didn't even try to hide hers. 

"Yes, Takada?" Light stepped back gracefully to allow her to enter the room. 

"Kami, I've just bumped into Mikami and he looked… well, he was disheveled and his nose was broken! He wouldn't tell me what had happened to him"

Light smirked at her transparency. Same old Takada, here for the gossip. "L happened to him" he shrugged. "My pet doesn't seem to particularly like Mikami very much"

Takada pursed her lips in disapproval. "You are going to punish him for striking him…aren't you?"

Light raised an eyebrow at the woman he'd once dated in college. "I do hope you're not trying to tell me what to do, Takada-San, as I would find that very… _irritating_"

"I would never dream of-"

"Kami?! It's gone!"

Light whipped his head towards the bed and smiled at the sight that greeted him. L was on his hands and knees, a look of distress on his beautiful face and one hand fumbling around his neck to search for the collar that was not there. 

"Where's my collar? Kami? Did I do something bad? I'm sorry! _Please_ give me my collar back…" Tears welled in those great dark eyes and Light felt his breath catch. 

Takada's mouth formed a perfect 'o' of realization. Light had finally broken L! 

"Leave" Light ordered over his shoulder as he walked to his desk to grab the collar. "Tell Misa and Mikami to stay away until I say otherwise"

Takada struggled to collect herself and stumbled backwards out of the room. Everything would change from now on, L would become the center of Kira's world and she and the others would be relegated to disfavour and abandonment. 

Light barely heard the door close as L scrambled off the bed and knelt before him. The sight of that dark haired bowed at him made his cock throb. Light said nothing as he approached L, collar in hand, and stared down at him. 

After a long minute of silence L burst into tears, his shoulders shaking. "I'm sorry! What did I do?" His voice cracked with anxiety and the way he trembled had Light utterly transfixed. 

_'This is really happening… '_ in a daze, Light knelt before L and lifted his head. 

"You did nothing, Sweetheart, I simply wanted the collar to be clean, that's all"

Relief flashed in L's eyes and he gulped back his tears. "So I can wear it again? You're not mad at me?"

Light held out the collar and L took it. Light didn't even bother to hide his smile of triumph as L placed the collar around his own neck then bowed his head again for Light to fasten it. 

"I'm not mad at you. How could I be mad at you, L? You're everything to me"

L smiled brightly at that and shuffled closer to Light. "Thank you, Kami-Sama, I love you" L nestled against him and Light breathed him in. Finally… 

"Call me Light when we are alone like this, pet" Light slowly stroked the soft skin surrounding that beautiful collar. L quivered under his touch, eyes liquid with devotion and closing in happiness as he soaked up the soft caresses like an attention starved puppy.

"Yes, Light-Sama" L smiled, tilting his head to better allow Light to toy with the collar on his neck.

"So beautiful like this" Light let out a revenant sigh as L continued to kneel before him and smile in contentment. Every single frustration and hardship he had endured in the training process was worth it now. He'd triumphed in breaking L, but the next step was only just beginning. He needed to train him now and mold him into what he wanted him to be. He had L's mind and now he wanted his body. 

"L, I would like a few… alterations made to your body" Light said slowly as he continued to card his fingers through L's hair. 

L's eyes flickered open and he nodded his head. "Yes, Light-Sama. What would you like done?"

Light's grin was positively evil as he thought about piercings marring that perfect pale chest. 'Oh fuck, nipple piercings would look so hot on him. My brand on his hip…I bet he'd love to look at my designs now! They used to repulse him before but he is not that man anymore. He's completely mine now'

"I want you to be the most beautiful pet and consort to Kira you can be, L. You'll let me do what I want to you, won't you?" Light purred softly. 

"Anything, Light-Sama, you can do anything you like" L didn't simper like Mikami did. His voice was soft and low, devotion shining in his eyes. 

He was simply perfect. 

"There's my good boy" Light pulled L into a hug and pressed a kiss to his hair. "I'm so proud of you, L"

L's smile was radiant. "I am a good boy, Light-Sama. Making you happy and proud is all I long for. What would you like done to my body?"

Light grinned as he stood up and pulled L up with him. He crossed to his desk and pulled out a sketch pad. In it was a design of his own creation and started long before L's rehabilitation had even properly started. He wanted as much of L's pale skin as visible as possible without being overly indecent so he had designed a series of outfits for his precious pup. 

L looked through all of them and noted in the drawings he had pierced nipples and a 'K' tattooed on his hip. "You did this, Kami-Sama? This is what you like?"

"Yes, Pet. What do you think?"

"I think we'd best get started" L's smile was oddly sultry yet innocent at the same time. "If this is what Kami-Sama wants his pet to look like it is what he will have"

Light closed his eyes in delight, L's words music to his ears. 

*******************

L winced as he felt a sharp pain flare through his chest and breathed out harshly through his nose. The pain was for Kira so he would endure it. The next bolt through his other nipple made him wince and he bit down on his lip as the residual shocks ran up his spine. He glanced down at the shiny ring now adorning his nipple critically. It had to be perfect for Kami-Sama. 

"Such a good boy" Light's smile of pleasure more than compensated for the pain and L smiled. The tattoo would probably hurt more but Kira had been kind and told him he didn't have to have that done the same day. His god and lover was merciful to him indeed. 

The guards situated outside of the room continued to stare straight ahead. L noted the redhead seemed somewhat familiar somehow but he couldn't place him. Perhaps he had simply been Kira's guard for a long time? 

"Darling, these are going to be so beautiful when they're healed" Light gently traced the platinum ring in L's left nipple. "Did it hurt much?"

"Yes, Kira-Sama" L knew better than to answer dishonestly, besides, he suspected his pain was a source of pleasure to his God and he would deny him nothing. 

"Poor thing. Would you like to sit at my feet in the great hall and have a rest? I'll order Mikami to fetch you some tea and cake"

"Yes please, Kira-Sama. Thank you"

Impressed by his pet's impeccable manners, Light leaned forward and brushed those soft lips with his. 

Light thanked the girl who had just pierced L's chest and she bowed her head in recognition and awe. She couldn't believe she was honored enough to pierce her god's prized pet! She made sure to thoroughly disinfect L's chest before he was allowed to slip on the sheer, rather revealing silk shirt Light had picked out for him. In a stormy gun metal color it emphasized L's dark eyes dramatically and Light found it hard to keep his eyes from him.

Light attached the chain to lead L down the corridors, half expecting that flash of loathing in those expressive eyes. Again, there was nothing but perfect obedience as L stopped to allow him to fasten the chain to the ring on his collar like an obedient dog waiting to be taken for a walk. 

"Thank you, Light-Sama. I'm to address you as Kami-Sama if I'm permitted to speak in the great hall? Or should it be Kira-Sama? For some reason I can't seem to remember very well" 

"You may address me as 'Kami-Sama' when we are in public, pet. Remember, I want you as my consort, so eyes and ears open. You will assist me in my rule and… I admit, I'd have a throne made for you too if I didn't like to see you curled at my feet"

L's nose wrinkled in distaste and it was so reminiscent of the L from before Light found himself staring at L's face hungrily. These flashes of character and bursts of emotion were his L's. If he had allowed that lobotomy to take place he realised they would probably have been erased utterly. 

"I'd rather sit by your feet than sit on a throne, Light-Sama. I will assist you to rule in any way I can but only one of us is a god" 

Light beamed at the reply and tugged gently at the chain. "Come then, L" 

L followed him meekly down the lavish corridors until they arrived at the grand doors to the throne room. As they opened for him all eyes strayed to the sight of the beautiful god and his pet. Heads bowed in reverence as Light led L up to his throne and took his seat. He let the chain curl loosely on the floor as L settled down on a pile of cushions next to him. 

Light knew his audience were probably chomping at the bit to discuss the changes in L, but his stony stare commanded silence realised "You may sit"

Everyone sat down, eyes glued to L as he stared placidly around the room. What had happened to him? Where was the rebellion? Had their god finally broken him? 

"As you can see, my pet is at heel. I command you to treat him with dignity and respect you would treat me with. He is to be my only pet and my _consort_ from this day forward. Anything he commands of you, you will obey without question"

"Yes, Kami-Sama" the low mumble echoed around the hall. "Hail Kami-Sama. Hail L-Sama"

L tilted his head at the accolade before breaking into a smug smile at the look of anguish that crossed Mikami's face. _'Ha. I'm the favourite. Suck it, Mikami!'_

"Mikami"

Mikami wiped the sour look off his face and hurried towards the dias. "Yes, my Kami, what can your humble servant do for you?"

Light flicked his eyes to L and noted the smug smile on his lips. How could he not indulge him?

"You will now be L's personal assistant. Your new job will be to complete any tasks he gives you quickly and efficiently"

Mikami blanched, the colour draining from his face. "B-but Kami-Sama-"

"Are you _disobeying_ me?" Light snarled at the stuttering man. Mikami instantly dropped to his knees and bowed his head. 

"I'm sorry. Please forgive me, Kami-Sama. I will serve as L-S-sama's assistant"

L curled one hand around Light's leg and smiled sweetly at Mikami as he rested his head against Light's thigh. "I'd like some tea and cake please, Mikami"

"Right away" Mikami stumbled to his feet and swallowed down the bile that rose in his throat. To think that L had surpassed him in rank and favor after all he had put his god through! 

L sat back on his cushions and watched as Mikami scurried away. He'd take care of that problem soon enough. If he thought he could lay his hands on his Kami again he was in for a rude awakening. He was the favourite pet of his god and that was the way things were going to stay. He'd just have to make sure Amane and Takada knew that as well. L looked up through sooty lashes and listened as Light began the meeting. His god's smooth, warm voice washing over him like honey. "I love you" he sighed as he rested his head against Light's leg. "I love you so much, my beautiful Kami-Sama"

Light stopped what he was saying and smiled down at L. "I love you too, my pet"

Ryuk shook his head in amazement at the interaction between the two humans. Even he never thought it would truly be possible to break L the way Lighto had. L was as smitten and dependent on him like a _dog_ was to its owner. 

_'But then I guess that's what he kinda is now, hyukhyuk!'_ Ryuk chuckled as he admired the platinum collar shining brightly around L's neck. 

"L… what do you say we wrap things up here early" Light leaned over to stroke along the elegant arch of L's neck. "You're doing nothing but sitting patiently but you're driving me to distraction"

L smiled up at his god and nodded his head. "I am sorry to distract you, Kami-Sama… however shall I atone?"

Light's eyes darkened with lust at the sultry purr in L's voice. "Oh, I know just how to make you atone, L Lawliet…"

Mikami returned with the tea and cake but found Light's throne empty and the hall emptying. He asked another of the servants what was going on. 

"Kira-Sama said he was growing weary and desired to lay down with his pet for a while" the girl's eyes sparkled as if she knew the god actually just wanted an afternoon tryst with his favourite, "Let us wish him a peaceful slumber"

"Yes…" Mikami looked down at the tea and cake in his hands with a sigh. Ryuk's eyes gleamed as he watched the man's numbers shift and change above his head. It was no secret L didn't like the man, an d Ryuk suspected L (broken pet or not) would eliminate any who opposed him just as ruthlessly as he had done before. 

Things were about to get interesting… 


	13. Furious devotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misa, Takada and Mikami learn one very important, valuable life lesson. Do NOT piss of L...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are getting towards the end (maybe) of this fic. Not sure whether to extend it at the moment or not, for now, enjoy! I will probably Skype OBN and work out where we want this fic to end up, cos right now I'm writing blind... As usual lol 😂

Light tore the beautiful silk shirt from L's body. It was a shame, since it was gorgeous, but he could always have another made. What was important in this moment was getting his L naked as fast as humanly possible. This would be the first time that L would sleep with him willingly and he couldn't wait. 

L shuddered as Light dipped his head and tugged at a nipple gently. They were still puffy and swollen so he was careful to use the slightest of pressure with his teeth. Once they were healed he planned on being anything but gentle. He'd make L squirm in pleasured pain. L gasped as he felt the slight pressure of a wet tongue against his sore flesh, as if soothing it. 

"You're so beautiful, L" Light sighed as he kissed L's skin. "You're mine, aren't you?"

"Yes, Light-Sama" L smiled and ran his fingers through Light's hair "And you're mine"

Light found the possessiveness of his pet delightful. Flashes of the old L were still visible in him, especially in his desire to protect what he viewed as his. Light had no doubt Mikami would bear the brunt of L's wrath and fully intended to encourage it as a healthy outlet for his pet's ingrained frustration and aggression. Mikami had the eyes and had been a willing enough hole to fuck but he was replaceable. L wasn't. Takada and Misa had the eyes, and although they were less biddable than Mikami, Light suspected L would soon put them in their place. 

_'But enough about them'_ Light led L to the bed and pushed him down, lips meeting his in a sweet, slow kiss. It was a heady thought: he could do whatever he wanted with L now and he wouldn't refuse. He wouldn't even think of it. Light smirked as he thought about something he had dreamed of when L was broken for him and pulled away. 

"L, I want to watch you touch yourself. I want you to make yourself come as you think about me. Then I'm going to fuck you and make you come again" 

L shuddered and skimmed a trembling hand down to cup the bulge at his groin. 

"Let's get you out of the rest of those clothes first" Light tugged the loose fitting pants and boxers down and stared hungrily at the hard cock that sprang free. Once L was in nothing but his collar, Light took it upon himself to lube up L's cock and sat back expectantly. It was going to be one hell of a show and he was looking forward to it immensely. 

Light watched as L took himself in hand and began to gently stroke his cock. 

"Oh fuck, Light…" L shivered as pleasure sparked up his spine and spread his legs a little wider for Light to see. His cock throbbed in his hand but he kept his strokes slow and steady, eyes fixed on his god as he began to strip. 

"That's good. Keep that pace" Light whispered as he shrugged out of his shirt. "Squeeze your balls and roll them for me. Let me see all of you"

L did as he was asked and clamped his teeth down on his lower lip. "F-feels good, Kami…"

"Such a good boy. You can stroke a little faster now" 

L's Hips bucked as the slick, wet sound of his cock sliding between his fingers filled the room. Before he would have been mortified, but now he had no shame. He simply wanted to please his god. "Kami! Mm!"

"Easy" Light cautioned as a splurt of precome ozzed out of L's tip. "I don't want you coming quite yet"

L eased off, his eyes fixed on Light's face and breath hitching in his throat. He wanted to come but his god's words were more important. They had to be obeyed. L ran his gaze over his god's nude body and whimpered with want as Light began to stroke his cock. 

"Such a good, patient boy. Use one hand to play with your nipples" Light directed. He stroked his cock lightly, all too aware the erotic sight before him was enough to push him over the edge. 

L whimpered as he twisted a nipple, pain offsetting the pleasure and making his breath catch. 

"Too sore?"

"Yes" L hissed through gritted teeth as he continued to tease his nipples despite his pain. One tug made him cringe and L's eyes flew up to Light's, tears streaming from them as he struggled to obey. 

"Stop, Pet. You should be rewarded for willing to suffer pain to obey me. I want you to make yourself come for me. I want to see it"

L flushed and tore his hand away from his chest, relief evident in his eyes. "Thank you, Kami-Sama!"

"Just Light" Light inched closer and stroked down one of L's trembling thighs. "Just Light when we're together like this"

L nodded his head and resumed stroking his cock. He stared up into Light's eyes, hand skimming over his cock as he hurtled towards the edge. Light smiled at the sight and leaned in further. He wanted to see the passion and bliss take over those stormy eyes. 

"Light!" L suddenly tensed and his face screwed up in pleasure, mouth dropping open and head tipping back as he began to shoot out come over his stomach. "Ah! Aaahhh, Li-Light!"

'_Beautiful_' Light drank it in, unable to look away as L panted and shivered beneath him as his orgasam played out. Once L was spent he collapsed back against the bed, come-coveted chest heaving and hazy eyes staring up at Light's. "Did I do okay, Light?"

"You did wonderfully, Darling" Light ignored his own throbbing arousal and scooped up some of L's come. L watched through wide eyes as Light popped his finger in his mouth with a devilish smile and licked it clean.

"Fuck" L whispered, feeling his spent cock twitch slightly. 

"You taste wonderful too" 

L quivered as Light dipped his head and licked up the come splattered across his chest. Light made sure to tongue L's nipples until L was twitching and half hard beneath him. 

"I'm going to fuck you now" Light drew his hand away and reached for the lube. "Lift your legs up to your chest and hold them there"

L scrambled to obey. He closed his eyes as he felt Light's finger trace the ring of muscle and willed himself to relax. This was his duty to his god. He was made for Light to love and fuck. He was the favourite. 

"Good" Light praised as his finger sank inside. L's hole was still sinfully tight and almost virginiel. L whined as a second finger pressed slowly inside and began to gently stretch and twist them deeper inside.

"Ooooh, Light!" L threw his head back as pleasure shot up his spine. 

"There" Light breathed as he concentrated on manipulating that spot inside L. "Feel good?" This was going to be a different kind of first time. He was going to be gentle and loving and L wouldn't bleed.

"Yes! Feels amazing" L gasped, one hand scrambling to claw in the bedding. "Please don't stop"

"I won't. Open up for me, L" Light pressed in a third finger and L arched beneath him, body opening just as beautifully as Light knew it would. Soon L was begging to be fucked and Light grinned at the sounds of those pleas spilling from his mouth. 

_'Thought you said hell would freeze over before you beg me to fuck you, L? How things change!' _

Light slicked up his cock and crawled over L, staring him down as he pressed inside. L clutched at him in desperation as he felt that thick cock push and then slide deep inside him. Light grabbed L's legs and wrapped them around his back, his body shuddering delight at how smooth they were and how good it felt to be inside his L again. 

"So tight" Light cursed out through gritted teeth. He began to rock his hips, keeping the pace slow and gentle and gazing into L's eyes lovingly. "You're so beautiful. I love you so much"

Tears welled in L's eyes at the love and adoration his god was raining down on him. "I love you too" L dug his nails into Light's shoulders and pulled him closer. "I need you, Light"

Light dipped his head for a kiss and continued to rock his hips, his cock moving smoothly in and out of L and making them both shudder with want. Light kept kissing L until he had to pull away, too overwhelmed with emotion. Everything he had dreamed of was now in front of him. L was his and that, more than ruling the world, made him feel godlike. He'd broken L and recast him into his own beautiful, intelligent pet. 

"More! Kami!"

Light chuckled and aimed for that spot again, his ass flexing as he fucked deeper and faster. L's gasps and breathless pants were all the encouragement he needed to move faster until he was slamming inside L, his body moving on instinct as the need to come welled up inside.

"Close!" Light gasped out, sweat trickling down his body. "I'm gonna come!"

L tightened around him, rocking back into Light's thrusts. "Come in me, Kami!" 

Light lost it at that impassioned plea and he buried his teeth into L's neck, letting out a strangled groan as he fell over the edge into bliss. He pinned L to the bed as he fucked into him deeply, L's body claiming down and milking his orgasam from him as L followed him into climax. 

"Liiight!" L clawed at Light's back and jolted beneath him, heart beating out of his chest as he felt ecstasy descend once again. He was amazed he could feel the warm splashes of release from Light's cock deep inside him. It was everything, to be claimed by his god in such a way, and it brought him to tears. 

They collapsed together, shuddering and crying as they clung to one another. 

"Thank you" L sniffed as he wrapped his arms around Light's shoulder. "Thank you for loving me, Light-Sama"

Light gently traced those prominent cheekbones and smiled at L in adoration. "How could I _not_?"

*******************

Weeks passed and slowly but surely, L established his place at Light's side. Mikami was run ragged with his increasingly outrageous and bizarre demands. Misa was told point blank to 'stay the fuck away' from Light and Takada… L decided it was best to play it smart with her. She was useful to Light and he treated her with more respect than he did Misa. 

So L kept things cooly civil. Or tried to; when he found out through idle court gossip that Takada was Light's ex as well as his pet he fumed. He seethed silently for a few days, sitting on his anger until he found the right opportunity to talk to Light about it. As acknowledged Consort, his word held nearly as much sway as Light's own. The court bowed to him now, and L delighted in it. 

"Light, I'd like your brand" L announced as they were dressing one morning. 

Light turned to L, delighted his pet had asked for it. He had been waiting for it and now that L's nipples were well on there way to healing he decided it was perfect timing for his next modification. 

"Really? Well, we will get it done this afternoon" Light smiled as L deliberated over two silken shirts. He wore what Light wanted to see him in, and this time was no exception. 

"Excellent. Which one, Light?" L held up an exotic Japanese style Yukata shirt in a deep blue and a silken white shirt in white. 

"The blue" Light nodded, "It will look perfect on you" 

L finished dressing and waited patiently for Light to finish doing his hair. It wouldn't even enter L's brain that Light was vain. He thought everything the god did was wonderful. 

L spent his morning kneeling by Light's side and listening to a meeting between Kira and his subjects. He spoke only when Light requested him to, but he was far from idle. He was keeping a careful watch on Misa and Takada. It seemed the ladies had teamed up and were often whispering together. At one point he felt both of their stares on him and he bristled with indignation. If he had his way no one would be allowed to look at him save Light. 

_'I will eliminate the both of you. Divide and conquer. Misa is the weakest link so it makes sense to get rid of her first… '_

"L, are you alright?" L glanced down and noticed the stony look on his pet's face. It was then the idea came to him and L found an easy smile. 

"Fine, Kami-Sama, forgive me, I was just thinking about the Russian trade dispute. I would suggest offering 15% as a gesture of good will and then assassinating the lead of the opposition to remind them of the consequences should they step out of line again"

A few courtiers and officials nodded approvingly at L's plan and Light nodded his head. "My Consort is as wise as he is beautiful. See to it that this is done immediately"

L shot a smug smile at Takada. Takada liked to think of herself as Light's right hand woman. She would soon learn her role had been usurped. L was determined to learn all he could about Kira's rule (as for some reason his memories weren't that good) and then he'd eliminate Light's need for her. He'd even make the eyedeal if it made Light happy, but Light had refused. He wanted L to live out the remainder of his long life by his side. 

"Kira-Sama, may I ask how long we are going to be here for?" L asked just loud enough for Misa and Takada to overhear. 

"Another hour at most. Nearly done. Why, Love? So eager to get your brand?" Light smiled as he said it, he was probably the more excited of the two. 

"Partly. I'm also getting irritated" L turned his head to look up at Light. "Takada and Amane have been staring at me all afternoon and I don't like it. I particularly don't like Amane staring at me as she is an idiot. I fail to see why you even bothered to collar such a mutt" L added anidely, dark eyes flashing with challenge as Misa spluttered in outrage. 

_'Come on, Misa, take the bait'_

"Then they will stop staring at you immediately" Light commanded with a small chuckle. L's hatred of his earlier pets was utterly adorable. Takada quickly ducked her head, common sense and self preservation winning out. Unfortunately, Misa Amane had none of that. She narrowed her eyes and stomped up to the dias. L's words had hit home and against her better judgement she snapped, just as L knew she would. 

"Why do you love him, Light? What's so special about him! I love you! I've served you far better than he has" Misa displayed her collar, a mad desperation in her eyes. "I could serve you in ways he can't! I could give you a _child_"

Light leaned back in his throne and gave Misa a considering look. "You think you would be a better consort than L?" His voice was soft and gentle, but L detected a deadly malice in it. 

"I _know_ I could, Light! I love you" Misa fell to her knees before her god and bowed her head. "Please let me bear your children, we could build a dynasty together"

"Misa!" Mikami hissed. He wasn't sure why but he wanted to try and save the idiot from herself. Misa was beyond such help and continued to beg and plead, ignorant of the cold fury that fell over Light's face. 

Finally, Light crooked a finger at L and L clambered into his lap. 

"What would you have me do, my vengeful darling?"

L grinned as he leaned closer to whisper in Light's ear. "Have her eyes gouged out then behead her. I don't like her, Kami, you're mine not hers. I want her dead. _Now_"

Light tipped his head back and laughed, darkly amused at the bloodlust and aggression in his pet. He'd have to see about replacing Mikami and Takada too before long as it appeared L wouldn't tolerate them alive. 'Such a possessive little puppy' Light patted L's rump and placed a soft kiss to his nose. "Very well, my love, pass the sentence and it will be done"

L beamed his thanks and kissed Light full on the mouth before he hopped off Light's lap. He stared down at the still kneeling girl with an evil smile on his face. 

"Guards. Seize her. She's to be executed on my orders!"

Immediately the familiar looking red headed guard and his blonde partner stepped forward to apprehend Misa. 

"No! Light! Stop him, please!"

Light smiled at Misa blandly. "He wants you dead, Misa, and my good boy gets what he wants… Guards, remove her eyes first and then behead her"

The hall burst into shocked and excited chatter as the executioner was summoned and a screaming Misa was restrained. Ryuk sat down next to the throne with wide eyes as he prepared to behold another bloody spectacle. Executions were his favourite! 

"Come and sit on my lap, L" Light patted his thigh and L hurried to clamber into his lap. He smirked at a pale faced Takada '_You're next, you bitch'_ before he snuggled into Light's embrace. He had the best seat in the house. 

Mikami closed his eyes and prayed for his own salvation (his god would surely not forsake him as he had Misa!) as the first of Misa's once useful Shinigami eyes were torn out of her skull. 

The scent of blood and her hoarse screams of pain filled the hall and L smiled in satisfaction. After the execution he'd receiv e his brand and then everything would be perfect. 

His cold eyes strayed to Mikami and Takada, who were huddled together and trying to appear stoic. 

Well, _almost_ perfect… 


	14. Her Revenge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L's increasingly disturbed behaviour earns him an enemy but Light is too blissfully caught up in his twisted love for L to notice... A storm is brewing as Kiyomi Takada plots her revenge....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are getting close to the end now! I will warn you all it is NOT a happy ending fic. How could THIS fic end happily though? What I do hope is that the ending I have decided on is fulfilling in the respect it is true to L's character... That's all I'm gonna say :D

Months passed in a heady haze of bliss for Light. L transformed into the perfect pet and now had his brand upon his skin. L's formidable intelligence aided him in his rule and it soon became apparent Mikami or Takada were not needed. 

L was running Mikami into the ground with an increasingly bizarre series of requests. 'No, Mikami, I want oranges from  _ Portugal _ . Hand picked. I want them in a weeks time so go and get them for me' and it was terribly amusing to see. Takada was keeping a low profile after Misa's death, not that Light could blame her. If she so much as looked at him for too long L's hackles rose. 

All in all, life was utterly perfect now. The three heirs were surprisingly apt at their new posts as guards, although Light was a little concerned about Matt. He spent too long looking at L. There didn't seem to be recognition in his vacant, green eyes but there was  _ something _ and it troubled him. 

_ 'I need to scan Matt's brain and see what's going on there. For now, I will just keep him away from L' _ Light decided as he stroked L's hair. L was curled up next to him sound asleep. It was still early, dawn had barely broken, and Light was content to lay in bed and take stock of his life. 

Other than Matt's odd behaviour his only real concern was losing Mikami and Takada's eyes. He knew L was gunning for them and it was only a matter of time before his spoiled pet demanded their deaths. Light also knew he'd probably end up indulging him. 

_ 'I will make Matt, Mello and Near take the eye deal and keep them close where I can watch them' _ satisfied with his scheming, Light rolled L over onto his back and toyed with the collar on his neck. He was debating whether or not to wake L up for some morning sex when L's eyes slowly flickered open.

"Mmm morning, Kami-Sama" L sighed, hazy eyes settling on Light's face. "I was dreaming about you"

"Where you now? What were you dreaming?"

L smiled and stretched. "I was dreaming of you kissing me in the throne room and of Takada's head resting on a spike" he smiled innocently, a darkness to his eyes that had never been there before. 

Light smirked and leaned in for a kiss. "Can you wait another month so I can replace them?" He whispered against L's lips. 

"Hmm. I suppose so" L smiled and twined his arms around Light's neck. Light rolled on top of L and used his body to keep him pinned as he kissed him again. The kiss grew steadily until Light was rocking their erections together, their bodies moving sinuously together. 

Light shimmied down L's body until he could see his brand, a Gothic 'K' standing out prominently on L's hip. He dipped his head and sucked the skin into his mouth, one hand drifting up to toy with the metal adorning L's nipples. 

"Aaaahhhh" L squirmed beneath him, body arching into the twin sensations. "Light! Ooohhh…"

Light chuckled and lapped at the reddened brand. It was something he would never tire of seeing. Inked onto L's flesh was a permanent sign of his domination, his  _ victory _ , and just the sight of it made his cock throb with longing. 

"Roll over onto your belly and get on your hands and knees. I want to fuck you" Light growled the words huskily and L scrambled to obey. 

Light took his time preparing L, spearing his slim fingers in and out of that eager body until L was writhing and begging to be fucked. Light dropped a kiss to the small of L's back before lining himself up and spreading those glorious ass cheeks. He pushed inside slowly, relishing the tightness and  _ heat  _ of the narrow channel clamping down around him. 

"Light! Oh  _ god _ !" L clawed at the sheets and arched his back, the exquisite  _ fullness _ making him see stars. 

"I am your god" Light gasped as he bottomed out and leaned over L to stare at his face. "You worship me, don't you, L?"

"Yes! I worship you, Kira!" L opened his eyes and shuddered as Light suddenly pulled out until just the tip of his cock was inside him. 

"You're going to come untouched. Keep your hands where they are and brace yourself, Love, this is going to be hard" Light warned before he suddenly plunged back inside. He grasped L's hips in his hands and began to thrust in and out, his hips snapping as pleasure flared through his body. 

L let out a breathless cry and quivered with each harsh push into his body but he dug his fingers into the bed, relaxing his body to accept the forceful thrusts. He could hear his Kami's loud groans and growls of pleasure and even if this forcefull taking hurt a little bit, he was more concerned with his god's pleasure. 

Light's balls slapped noisily against L's ass as he pulled L's hips back to meet his increasingly frantic thrusts. As the pounding continued it began to feel good so L relaxed a little more, cock throbbing as it twitched against his stomach. 

"That's it" Light praised as he saw the tremors running through L's body. "You're made for this, L. You're mine to fuck whenever I want"

"Yes, Kami" L moaned into the pillow, breath catching in his throat as he felt his prostate throb with pleasure. "I'm yours! Please do whatever you want with me!"

Light was sweating and panting but he couldn't hold back. He pushed into L as deeply as he could and ground the tip of his cock against his pet's prostate. L let out a garbled scream and suddenly that tight channel was clamping down on Light as L spurted his come onto the bed. 

Light grit his teeth and stayed still to delay his own orgasam as L shivered and sobbed beneath him, his untouched cock jerking and throbbing against his belly as he made a mess of his stomach and the bed sheets. 

"Such a good boy" Light praised as L finally began to relax around him. Once L had come down from his high Light began ramming into him hard again. Now he didn't have pleasure to distract him the forceful thrusts made L wince. He bit his lip and squeezed his eyes shut and  _ endured _ . 

_ 'Kami is feeling good. That is all that matters' _ L reminded himself as he let Light maneuver his body like a dolls. He was a pet and he had no right to complain, even if it was starting to hurt now. Light hadn't used much lube and L could feel a numb pain near the entrance of his asshole. 

"L! Fuck! I'm coming!"

L gritted his teeth and hissed as Light suddenly seized and dug his fingernails into the soft skin of his ass. He could feel each hot pulse inside him and it made him wince.  _ 'Definitely torn' _ L thought as he chewed on his lower lip. Light was bucking his hips and growling out obscenities as he filled him up so L focused on his pleasure instead. 

When Light slumped over him L couldn't help but feel relieved. His ass  _ stung _ . 

"So good" Light groaned into his ear and L forced a smile. 

"Yes, Kami-Sama"

"Are you alright?" Light noticed the strain on L's face and felt a flash of concern. Had he been too rough with his delicate little pet? Light slowly withdrew and bit his lip at the blood coating his cock. "Baby… why didn't you say anything?"

L turned his head to look at Light. "Because you were feeling good, Kami. I didn't want to interrupt that"

Light sighed as he climbed off the bed to look for a towel to clean L up with. There weren't many drawbacks to L's blind ordinance but this was one of them. Even if he was in pain or in danger of losing his life, L wouldn't say it. He'd been conditioned to put Light's needs and wants before his own, perhaps a little  _ too _ successfully at times. 

Light tenderly cleaned L up and lubed up a finger before pushing inside. From what he could tell there were a few superficial tears on his inner wall but nothing too horrific. Light tried not to feel too guilty. After all, L was  _ his _ and accidents were bound to happen. 

"Come, Pet, we need to get you to the Dr" Light sighed as he withdrew his finger. "You're torn"

L pouted as he climbed out of bed. He was about to protest it didn't even hurt when a throb of pain shot up his spine. He gingerly pulled on his clothes and followed Light out of the door. Thankfully his Kami didn't request him to crawl today because L wasn't sure if he could do it. The walk to the infirmary was  _ agony _ and by the time they arrived and Light was talking to a Dr, L feared he might pass out. 

"How distressing for you, Kira-Sama" the Dr gibbered as he bowed at Light, "Please don't be concerned, I will tend to L-Sama at once"

L stared at the Dr blankly. He didn't want that man's fingers up his ass and he said so. 

"If you need stitches he will be doing it" Light rebuked gently. "Now lie down on the table and let the Dr examine you, Pet. That's an order"

L slouched towards the table and lay down, an unhappy frown on his face as he felt Light remove his trousers. He'd only been trying to be good so why was he being punished? L winced as he felt a cold, gloved finger press inside and shut his eyes in annoyance. 

He was in a bad mood and he knew just who he was going to take it out on… 

**************

Later, when Light was busy with affairs of state, L sought Takada out. 

"Yes, L-Sama, what can I do for you?" Takada eyed the pampered pet warily. On his orders she had been forced to relinquish her collar. L declared he was the only one permitted to wear Light's collar and as usual the little tyrant had gotten what he wanted. 

Takada forced herself to be patient. She would get her revenge and her endeavours were starting to bear fruit.  _ 'A few more weeks and he should start to remember'  _ Takada comforted herself.  _ 'And when he does, the first thing he will do is go to L'  _ Kiyomi Takada often felt she was underappreciated by her god and in this case she was also undervalued. She'd spent  _ months _ assisting the ill-fated Dr Normans in his lab and she was confident she possessed the skill needed to reverse the lobotomies hed performed. It was a risky maneuver, which was why she was being so careful to keep herself from public viewing. She wanted no association made between her and the guards. As such she worked slowly and carefully, ordering the guard to her room to work on him. It was taking a long time, far longer than she would have liked, but she was making progress. 

_ 'We'll see what you're like when you find out the truth again, won't we, L-Sama? Won't be such a proud little pet then! You'll be truly broken and the truth will be what breaks you!' _

"Mikami's in Portugal getting my oranges so I want you to take over his duties until he returns"

Takada kept her face carefully composed. "Of course, L-Sama, what do you command me to do?"

L smiled nastily at her. "I want you to go and find a razor blade and shear all your hair off. You're entirely too pretty, Kiyomi Takada, and I don't like it. You were Kami's lover once and I don't like  _ that _ either"

Kiyomi forced herself to say calm. It was only hair. It would grow back… if she was still alive, that was. 

"Very well, L-Sama, I will go and find some now" She bowed, her stomach churning with hatred. She would make him pay for this. 

"Good. And don't forget to bring them back here" L sat down gingerly on a chair and smirked at her. "I want to watch"

_ 'Patience, Kiyomi. Patience. It will be worth it soon' _

Kiyomi straightened her spine and left the room. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and was struck by how pale and gaunt she looked. Would she die soon? Would they  _ all _ die when L found out the truth? 

Did it even matter anymore? Her God had forsaken her and the desire for vengeance took the place in her heart her love for him had once been. 

_ 'Whatever the consequences… L Lawliet is going to remember who he was and he has done.  _ ** _I_ ** _ will be the one who breaks him once and for all and if Kami kills me then so be it. It will be worth it to see just one second of his suffering' _

Kiyomi returned to L and hacked off her long, dark hair. Her face was set in stone as the dark strands tumbled to the ground around her. 

L's smile sickened her but she held her tongue. Revenge was a dish best served cold and she planned on dishing L up a plate of  _ ice _ . 

"Is that all you require of me, L-Sama?" Takada asked sweetly. 

By this point L had grown bored of tormenting her and was more interested in finding Light. He didn't like being separated from him for too long. 

"Yes, you can go now" L sent her off with a laugh and Kiymi bowed once more before walking gracefully away with as much dignity as she could muster. As L went to find his master she crooked her finger at the redheaded guard. 

Silently, he walked over to her, a hint of interest in his stormy green eyes. She was the woman who was helping him remember things! 

"Come, Matt, we have more work to do" Kiyomi murmured, a small smile on her face as Mail Jeeves obediently followed her to her room… 


	15. Remember Wammy's

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two more chapters to goooo! The last two chapters will be a little longer than usual as there's a lot of ground to cover. Enjoy!

Weeks passed and finally Kiyomi Takada made progress. It had been a simple memory; a grand old manor house, that had opened the gates to Matt's memories.

His eyes snapped open as he gasped for breath, the brain wave monitor beeping off the scales as his memories returned in a violent torrent. 

"L!" Matt's eyes filled with tears and he struggled to sit up. "Let me go! I have to get to L!"

"Matt, I'm not your enemy" Kiyomi purred softly, "I returned your memories and reversed the lobotomy so you could find L again and speak to him. I will help you"

Matt's eyes narrowed with suspicion. "You're one of his pets. Why would you do that to help me? Or L for that matter? No. You're doing this to hurt him, aren't you"

'_Sharp boy'_ Kiyomi thought as she admired his deductive abilities. He should be reeling and sick after the procedure he'd undergone. 

"You're right. I want him to remember who he was and what he's done since he's been Kira's pet. My main motivation is revenge, but… " Kiyomi shook her head, her eyes filling with tears, "I'm also disillusioned. Without my collar I've started seeing things clearer. Light isn't a god. He has the power of one but he still bleeds. He can still die and… and I think the only ones smart enough to ensure that happens is L Lawliet and his heirs. I assure you I am under no illusion I will survive this. If I'm overheard right now then his Shinigami will write down my name. I no longer have access to pages of the Death Note. When I first followed Light I dreamt of a golden world of peace populated by good people. Not… this" Kiyomi gestured to the heads on spikes that littered the hallway. "I can see now how absolute power has corrupted Light. I want no further part in it. Despite my dislike of L our goals are actually the same. L will want revenge when he regains his memories. So do I, and so will Mello and Near. If we work together we can achieve it"

Matt gingerly sat up and stared at the woman. He let his instincts guide him as to whether or not he could trust her. Mostly, he felt he could, however her hatred of L made him wary. 

"I will find a way to get L on his own. Only after his memories are returned will you be allowed to talk to him. If you promise me this I will work with you" Matt finally replied. "L must learn from me what has happened. I know you want revenge but… L is more important to me than that. He will be broken when he finds out what has happened. Isn't that revenge enough?"

Kiyomi thought about all that had happened since her collar had been taken from her. She thought about the executions and about Light's disregard of the world he was supposed to be ruling in favor of playing with his favourite pet. She thought about Misa Amane and Teru Mikami, and the vision they had all once shared of Kira's glorious new world. 

It was all ashes now. In the cold light of day what did her grudge against L Lawliet really matter? She hated who he had become, not who he was. She thought back to the days when she had delighted in force feeding him and locking him in the dark and realization hit her. L deserved revenge on her just as much as she did on him, if not more… she'd always justified her actions as a means to an end. She had maintained loyalty to Kira-Sama and turned her head or participated in countless atrocities, and yet without that damn collar on her neck she could see them for what they really were: the deluded acts of a puppet. Kira was the Puppet Master pulling all the strings. But just like steel, strings could break too. 

"I agree" Kiyomi closed her eyes and exhaled softly. "Enough is enough. Find a way to tell him the truth and then return to me" she unstrapped Matt from the restraints and offered him a small smile. "I will try and undo what has been done to Mello and Near as well. Is the Manor House a core memory you all share?"

Matt thought about Wammy's House and how it was razed to the ground. Although the physical building no longer remained and its founder was dead, the principles of Wammy's House still lived on in him, Near, Mello and L. They would fight to their dying breath to uphold its memory. An idea began to form in his mind and he quickly weighed up the pros and cons until he'd reached his decision. It was a move worthy of L himself. It was a gamble but if it worked… 

"Give me a pen and paper"

Kiyomi frowned but passed them to him, curious to see what he would write. Her forehead furrowed as she read six simple words:

_Today: Perseverance, Tomorrow: Growth, Integrity: Always. _

"They will know what it means. They are the words on Wammy's House coat of arms. Listen, Takada-San, We can't move against Kira until we have Mello and Near back and we can't tell L yet. I will work to engineer a situation so I can be close to him. In the meantime I want you to work on Matt and Mello. This is only going to work if Kira continues to be distracted by L, which means he has to be one of the last to know. If we do it this way our chances of remaining undetected by Kira and his Shinigami are strongest. We might survive this, Takada-San"

Takada smiled thinly. Even if she did survive, what did the dark, cold world hold for someone like her?

********************

Light paused as he noticed Matt starring at L again. 

He left L snoozing on his cushions and approached the guard. 

"Matt"

"Yes, Kami-Sama?" Matt answered at once, careful to keep his face blank and relaxed, "How may I serve you?"

"I've noticed you staring at my pet for some time now, Matt. I confess I meant to ask you before but I've been… busy"

Matt swallowed thickly. _'Busy raping L you mean. He might submit to being your little plaything now but that's only because he isn't himself!'_ "Yes, Kami-Sama. I have taken it upon myself to guard L-Sama. There has been talk amongst some of the courtiers that has concerned me. They do not show L-Sama the respect he deserves at times so I am watching over him"

Light's eyes narrowed in annoyance. Had he really missed so much? As far as he was aware L was feared and respected by all of his courtiers. "Is that so? And what things have been said about L? And why did you not come to me sooner?" Light challenged. 

"I was afraid of upsetting you, my Kami. I am sorry if I have offended you, that wasn't my intention" Matt forced himself to sink into a deep bow. "Some people say that…" he hesitated. This was his trickiest card to play and he had to play it right. "That he will regain his memories. I do not know what that means so I can only interpret it as a threat"

"Regain his memories?" Light chuckled. There was no chance of that happening! "I assure you, Matt, L is quite safe from danger… however…"

'If I've predicted his mindset correctly he will make me L's personal guard for petty amusement. He is arrogant and thinks he is untouchable. He will find it funny that I am L's personal guard and it will serve to remind him of his 'victory' over L and myself' Matt kept his head bowed as Light stared down at him. 

"Your concern for my Pet's wellbeing is to be commended. From now on you will be his own personal guard"

'_Yes_!' Matt wanted to smile in jubilation but of course he couldn't. Instead, he dipped his head lower in a bow. "I would be honored to serve you and L-Sama. Should I report to L-Sama for duty now or wait until he wakes?"

Light glanced over at L, his face softening at the sight of him curled up on his cushions next to the throne. His pale skin was littered with love bites that Light made no attempt to cover up. The sheer white shirt and silken trousers he wore further emphasized them. He did actually have a few pressing matters to attend to. He needed to catch up with Takada and Mikami and discuss a new eye deal with Ryuk. Matt, Mello and Near would soon need to acquire them to serve him. "You may watch over him now. When he awakes tell him I am busy with matters of state and will return as soon as I can"

"Yes, Kami-Sama, at once" Matt rose gracefully to his feet and walked towards L, one hand on his gun as he guarded the sleeping pet who had once been his mentor. It was tempting, so tempting to just grab L right then but he knew he couldn't. He had to wait. 

Matt gritted his teeth as two passing courtiers remarked how soundly Light's pup was sleeping. 

'_Today: Perseverance, Tomorrow: Growth, Integrity: Always'_ he repeated the words over and over in his mind and felt himself calm. There was no point in making a move until he had his brothers beside him. L always did say they worked best as a team… 

*******************

It was another two torturess weeks before Kiyomi began to see any real progress in Mello and Near. In that time she had kept herself to herself and watched Matt's interactions with L closely. L was growing comfortable around his guard and consequently had lowered his own guard around him. Light too was growing complacent. Now that he believed he had no direct opposition he had let that once tenacious paranoia of his slip. 

It was what she and Matt were banking on. Waiting was excruciating but day by day she was getting closer to her goal. She couldn't eat as the reality of all that she had done finally hit home. Without the collar she was plagued with nightmares and self loathing and yet Mikami seemed to want to be Kira's pet. When he wasn't being tormented by L the lovestruck idiot was panting after Kira and supplicating himself before him. 

Kiyomi realised that Mikami Teru was a lost cause. He was in love with Kira. She had once been in love with an illusion she now could see through. Mikami couldn't and it would probably be the death of him. 

Kiyomi sighed and returned to the two young men sitting before her. She had given them the slip of paper Matt had written and ordered them to read the sentence over and over. Faint recognition was starting to show on the white haired ones face and Takada knew she was getting close. She achieved her breakthrough when she had the brainwave of hacking Kira's servers and bringing up footage of the destruction of Wammy's House. 

As they stared at their once beloved home going up in flames, anger burned in their eyes and Takada found herself grateful she had restrained them. It had taken a long time to reverse the lobotomy but the fire burning in their eyes made it all worth it. 

"I'm gonna kill him!" Mello snarled as he tried to free himself from his chair. His eyes narrowed as they fell on Takada. "I'm gonna kill you!"

"Not so fast, Mello. We need to talk" Cautiously, Kiyomi pulled up a chair and switched the footage off. "I've been working on reversing the lobotomy and restoring your memories these last three weeks because Matt asked me to"

"Fucking _liar_! -"

"Mello" Near said gently. "We are not in a position to fight right now. We need to listen. If what she is saying is true we may have a chance to save L… and ourselves" Near shuddered as he remembered cutting out the Dr's tongue. 

Kiyomi bit back a sigh of relief. At least one of them appeared to be level headed. "I can prove to you I am sincere though I admit when I first started planning this my soul intention was to hurt L…" grief flashed upon her face and she forced herself to continue, "Matt will vouch for me. I will summon him to you as soon as I can, but first you must listen to what I'm about to tell you"

Mello narrowed his eyes at the woman as he tried to see through her words. She appeared sincere but he was a Wammy's House boy. He was used to looking at people under a microscope and seeing what their true intentions really were. "Go on then" Mello finally muttered, "Tell us what's happened to L and how we can get him back"

*****************

L sighed and stretched, his body pliant and languid as he felt his god's body heat seep into his skin. L cracked upon his eyes and smiled as he saw Light was writing in his Death Note. 

"Always work with you, Kami" L nuzzled into his side and pressed a kiss to his throat. "Why won't you give me a piece of the Death Note?" He asked suddenly. 

"Because I know for a fact you will write down Takada and Mikami's names without a moment's hesitation" Light's voice sounded amused, "And I am still working on replacing them, although perhaps I won't even need to. Takada is extremely sick, I've seen her medical records… " 'Probably a side effect of the abrupt change in Nathran she was susceptible to through her collar…'

L appeared hurt and pulled away. "I wouldn't do that if you ordered me not to, Kami-Sama. I would obey you" L sniffed. Matt had talked to him about the power of the Death Note and how it would be a good idea for him to have a piece of it incase he ever needed to protect Light. L had thought it was a brilliant idea and had decided to bide his time and wait to ask for what he wanted. Matt had cautioned him that his god might be offended if he explained his reasoning and so L had taken his advise and said nothing. It wasn't like he was lying to his god, he just wanted to protect him. 

Light sighed at the sight of L's pout. "Do you swear to obey me in this, L? No writing their names until I say so"

L eagerly nodded his head. "I promise, Kami-Sama!"

Light chuckled and tore a piece of the Death Note out for L. He held it out with an indulgent smile. He knew he spoiled his pet a little too much but how could he not? 

"Thank you, Light!" L beamed as he took the innocent looking piece of paper and folded it carefully into a small square. "I will look after this and never use it unless you order me to"

Light smiled and patted L's head. "Good boy"

Light wouldn't know it until it was too late, but this was the moment he had sealed his own fate… 

For later that afternoon, his prized pet would be injected with a sedative and locked away in a cellar as his three heirs and their unlikely ally set about the painful task of restoring his memories… 

*************************

When L woke up he was confused. He looked around and realised for some reason he was tied to a chair in the cellar. 

"Kami!" He yelled, fear over taking him for a moment. If he died it would upset his god and he didn't want that! "Light?!"

L squinted as a bright light shone on his face. He didn't recognize the Blonde boy it belonged to. "What the hell is going on here?" He snarled angirly, "I want to see Kira-Sama at once!"

'_Jesus, L, if only you could see what he's done to you… well, I suppose you will soon'_ Mello had to turn away, unable to look at the creature who had once been his mentor. With an understanding pat on his shoulder, Matt took the torch and his place. 

"Matt!" L hissed, "Have you done this?!"

"Yes, L. I'm so sorry but this is for your own good" Matt nodded to Near and Near approached, a washcloth and pitcher of water in hand. "I really don't want to do this, L, but… it's the only thing that will break through the trauma" 

L bucked and cried out as he recognised what Near was holding. "No! No! Please, I'll be good! Don't bring that water near me! Please!"

Takada closed her eyes as the desperate pleas washed over her. It was her job to unlock that collar and get it off L. The only way that would work is if L desired the collar to be removed. It had a sensor in it that prevented the collar being removed by anyone save L himself. It was a cruel but brilliant idea on Light's part: L as he was now would never willingly take off his collar. 

Unless he was confronted with his biggest fear and forced to… 

"I'm sorry, L" Mello grabbed L's head and tipped it back. He did his best not to look into those terrified gray eyes as Matt put the cloth over his face. L thrashed so Near and Kiyomi had to bodily hold him down. 

"This trauma is necessary! This is how Light first conditioned him, he has to want to take the collar of" Kiyomi yelled as Matt began to pour water over L's face. L let out a muffled yell of panic and tears filled his eyes. Water trickled down his throat and his breath caught. He couldn't breath through fear and they were all yelling at him to wish for the collar to come off. 

'_I won't! It's Kami's collar… oh god! Oh god, I'm drowning!' _

"Come on, L!" Near whispered as he pressed down harder on L's jerking legs, "Come back to us!"

Matt wiped sweat off his brow and flicked his eyes to the clock on the wall. Kira would notice L's absence soon and they had to get L back as soon as possible. The collar was the key. L had willingly put it on to protect them. Now he had to willingly take it off. 

"Dammit, L, you stubborn fucker!" Mello growled as he tipped L's back further. L gurgled as water filled his legs. Terror filled his heart, pure, primal terror and it was strong enough to over ride even his blind devotion to his Kami. L jerked his head in a nod and the cloth was pulled away. 

"I want it off! Take it **_off_**!" He screamed, tears running down his breath as he heaved and shuddered for breath. Quick as a flash, Kiyomi darted foreward and tugged the collar off. The skin of L's neck was a myriad of bruises and injection sites but Kiyomi saw the change in him immediately. His eyes narrowed and he stopped screaming. 

"What…" L stared at Matt, confusion on his face. It felt like a switch had been flicked in his mind. The longer he stared the more familiar those green eyes become. "Matt?" He rasped, the name filtering to the front of his mind. Matt was his guard, he knew that, but he was also something _more_... 

"Yes! It's me! I'm your heir! I'm your _friend_, L! " Matt was so overjoyed that he could have hugged him but he forced himself to stay back. They didn't have long and there was little room for error. "The collar's off, L, you need to focus on me and remember, okay?"

L slowly reached up to touch his neck. He winced at the tender skin and tried to do as 'Matt' said. The Blonde and the white haired one also seemed familiar to him. He felt something for them… 

It was only when Near repeated the words of Wammy's House did it all click into place. L let out a strangled scream and clutched his head in his hands. 

He remembered everything… 


	16. The Thinnest Line

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> L and his heirs plot Kira's downfall. The mental anguish and stress he's been under begin to take their toll on L as he prepares to meet Kira for the final time...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh. My. God. Writing this was fricking exhilerating, confusing, upsetting, more confusing (you will see what I mean when you read it. L's POV is all over the place, his thoughts are scattered and in true action movie style I've tinkered with jumping back and forth from scene to scene) AND so fucking satisfying all at the same time. 
> 
> Enjoy the penultimate chapter of 'Breaking L' and please do let me know what you think!

L sat in silence as Matt explained everything to him as quickly as he could. He couldn't stop the tremors shaking his body and shuddered as his heirs clustered around him. 

"You're in a state of shock" Near whispered, "I'm so sorry we had to do it this way, L, but it was the only way we could think of"

"Don't apologize" L turned his eyes to Takada and slowly held out a hand to her. "I must apologize to _you_ however. I am sorry for the things I did to you"

Takada let out a sob as she clutched L's hand. "The things you did to me where nothing in comparison to what I've done to you. I am so sorry, L!"

The word sorry seemed to stir him into action and L let her hand drop. "Now isn't the time for regret. We need to act fast. Kira is going to realise I am missing soon. You four need to leave the palace and escape while you can. I'm going to kill Kira and burn his fucking palace to the ground in the process"

Mello grinned at L's defiance until he realised just what he had said. "No, L! You can't do that!"

"I can" L replied flatly. "I have no desire to live anymore, Mello. The only thing I want to do now is to destroy everything that bastard holds dear before I die. I can't do that knowing you three will be in the palace. You are my legacy. Please… go now"

It was Matt who stepped forward and placed a hand on L's shoulder, his words making L pause and reconsider. "If you die then he has won. If you truly cannot live and survive to make the world a better place with us then he has broken you, L. Death is the easy way out of this. We could all just die now, right? But that won't stop him. It won't stop his followers. We need to rip out this weed root and stem"

L gnawed on a finger as he listened to his clever Matt's words. Root and stem. Supporters, aids, everyone in that palace had to die. There could be no survivors. No witnesses to Kira's downfall… 

"He firebombed Wammy's" L whispered, the idea taking root in his mind. "Takada-San, do you know where he sources the bombs?"

Kiyomi smiled as she nodded her head. "I do! I should still have security clearance!"

"Well then…" L slowly climbed to his feet and picked up his collar in his hands. He stared down at the metal and felt utter revulsion run through him. Dying would be the easier option and it would be something Kira would want. 

He wouldn't give him the satisfaction. Somehow he'd find a way to survive with his guilt and pain but first… 

Revenge. 

*******************

Kira was frantic as he dispatched search teams to find L. It had been six hours since L had vanished and that should have been impossible with the collar around his neck. 

'_Unless he isn't wearing the collar…_' cold fear gripped Light's heart and he reached for his Death Note. He wanted to kill but he didn't know who or what was even happening. 

There were only two possible options. Somehow L had been able to override the collar and free himself or the more likely option that his pet had been kidnapped. Matt had said something about dissent amongst the courtiers and L not being treated with respect. 

Enraged, Light stormed into the great hall, his chest heaving as he flung open the doors. The laughing stopped and the people sank into deep bows as their god stormed towards his throne. 

"Who knows what has happened to my Pet?!"

Ryuk giggled as he glanced at Light. Suddenly those numbers of his didn't look so good… he knew L had escaped the palace with his heirs and Takada but he wasn't going to say that. He was a Shinigami and he had his own skin to think of. As entertaining as Light was, if he told Light of the plot unfolding and it ended up saving his life he would be the one who'd be ashes. 

_'Nope. Might as well see this thing out to the end. Sorry, Kiddo, but I reckon this grand finale is going to be a good one!'_ Ryuk stuffed an apple into his mouth and chomped on it loudly. It caught Light's attention and he offered a sinister, secret smile at the would-be god.

"Ryuk"

Ryuk flapped over to Light, his jagged teeth glinting in the candlelight. 

"Do you know anything about L's disappearance?"

"Nope. Can't say I do" Ryuk took another bite, "He's still alive though. I can see his numbers above his head there" Ryuk pointed a long clawed finger to the portrait of L Light had hung near the throne. "He's got a long while to go yet" 'Unlike you' Ryuk mentally added, barely able to surpress a chuckle. 

"He's been kidnapped. He must have been kidnapped" Light clutched at his hair, anger radiating off him as he tried to decide what to do. He needed names. Faces. He'd kill the bastards. He'd raze the entire earth in order to get his pet back. "Make the eye deal with me" Light suddenly ordered, his eyes burning as he stared up at the Shinigami. L was worth half of his life. 

Ryuk's eyes gleamed with interest. Light's current lifespan was only two days. Hardly worth taking… but… it would be pretty fun to see what Light would do with the Shinigami eyes. For years he'd made his subordinates take them. "Sure, you have plenty of lifespan to spare" Ryuk leaned over Light and placed his claw over the man's eyes. When he retreated he saw a red gleam light up those crazed, amber eyes and grinned. 

Light swept his eyes around the court and ordered his guards to bar the doors. He'd sent his elite guard containing L's heirs (or so he thought) to find his pet but in his desperation and paranoia he decided It was worth questioning his court as well. Mikami stood by his side, his body shaking as he felt the anger radiate from his god. 

"No one is to leave until my pet is found. If anyone has any information they'd best start talking" Light glanced at the crowd before scribbling down a few names. Screams erupted as four people keeled over clutching their chests. "I will kill every last one of you!" Light snarled as the screams rang in his ears. "Mikami, any word from the men on the ground yet?"

Mikami shook his head, one hand hovering over his headset. "Not yet, Kami-Sama, but they have spread out throughout the palace and the first wave are searching the neighbouring woodland"

Light seethed and wrote six more names down out of spite. Until he got his pet back no one was safe… 

Little did he realise his actions were being controlled by the very weapon he was writing in. Ryuk giggled as he saw the glaze of death fall over Light's eyes and grinned in delight. 

It seemed Light's little lapdog had shown his teeth. He had predicted Light's arrogance and pride would prevent him from believing L had abandoned him of his own accord. Had Light believed that there was a chance he would have taken the inatiative and written L's name down before his own could be written. 

As far as Kira was concerned, it made perfect sense his pet had been abducted. His collar and his conditioning were simply too brilliant to fail and be overwritten even for someone like L. 

It was this Hubris that allowed L Lawliet to write down his name first. 

**********************

It was only as they were in a hijacked van and racing towards the secure military site did L remember he had a piece of Light's Death Note. He could have cursed himself for his stupidity in forgetting such a monumental weapon and advantage, but decided to cut himself some slack. He knew he was still in a state of shock and running on autopilot. If it wasn't for his Heirs he knew he would probably have crumbled by now. Kira's brand was on his thigh… L had vomited the instant he saw it in the gas station bathroom. He'd removed the nipple rings and flushed them down the toilet to float with the rest of the filth. 

'_I can't believe what you made me do. I can't believe how far I fell. Even now I feel some sort of attachment to you. It must be the Nathran... Or maybe that old saying is true and that the line between love and hate really is the thinnest'_ L tore his eyes away from his reflection and raced back outside to the van. He pulled up his hood and slipped the green contact lenses Matt had purchased for him. Completed with a blonde wig, from a distance he looked unrecognizable. 

"I need to write down his name" L announced suddenly as he climbed into the van. "I can engineer our success!" He felt sick and his head was pounding. Cold sweat trickled down his back and L wondered if the withdrawl of the drug would kill him. He found he didn't much care, so long as Kira died first. 

Silently, Kiyomi handed L a pen and they crowded around to see what he would write. 

_Light Yagami, dies 13th of January. _

_Light locks himself in his throne room. He makes the eye deal with Ryuk. Light begins killing his courtiers and does not notice his guards or former female pet is missing. He is convinced his pet has been kidnapped. When a squadron of bombers descend upon the palace Light does not order a counter attack. He walks into the courtyard and is set on fire. Light will die in agony and know that it is his pet who is responsible for his death. _

"Holy shit, L" Mello breathed, his eyes sparkling with delight, "This is brilliant!"

L tried to smile but there was no light in his eyes. "I have enough room left on this page to write down the names of those in charge at the military facility. You can see their names, right?"

Kiyomi licked her lips and nodded her head. Her heart was pounding furiously in her chest as he stared at the words written down on that sheet of paper. It would soon be over. The one she had once loved and promised to serve would be dead.

"Turn left here" Kiyomi muttered, unable to look at the page any longer. "Leave the talking to me. If we encounter any difficulties I will read out their names"

"They all need to die too" Near piped up from the back. "All of his followers have to die"

L sighed and rested his head in his hands. His head was throbbing and he found he just wanted to curl up and fall asleep. It was his desire for vengeance that forced him to keep his eyes open. 

"We kill everyone" L mumbled flatly. "Firebomb the military compound so no messages can be sent to the palace. We strike fast and we strike hard. There can be no mercy"

Mello clapped L on the shoulder, his eyes shining with pride. "This is why you can't die, L. The world will need you once that bastard is ash"

L laughed humorlessly, "The world? I have no grand designs for the world. Kira is a deluded tyrant who wanted to change it. You can't change human nature, Mello. The world will always have its share of nightmares"

"Maybe so" Kiyomi felt compelled to join in, "But I once believed this world was filled with good, kind people as well. The world does need you, L. It needs all of you"

L stuck a lolly in his mouth and sucked on it, the sugar a welcome energy boost as he tried not to think of other things he'd sucked on. 

"Let's just focus on killing Kira" L finally mumbled, his tone and eyes bleak as they stared unseeingly out at the passing countryside. In his opinion the world did not need him. He was no longer the world's greatest detective. He'd been raped and defiled, he'd killed and tortured people and had nearly been broken by Kira. 

'_Nearly. Shut the fuck up with this defeatest attitude and fight! I can't just roll over and let him win. They're right! What am I even thinking?!'_ L sat up straighter at the thought and turned to Mello. "I'm not going to give up" he announced, a small smile on his face. "I'm a Wammy's Kid. I can't give up"

Matt smiled at L's attitude and gave him a big thumbs up. "That's the spirit! Watari would be proud of you, L"

_'Watari…'_

And suddenly his thoughts were bleak and dark once again, the desire for death warring with the will to live. 

L didn't know it, but the drug flowing through his veins was reacting to his volatile mental state and trying to subdue him. 

His fractured mind was splintering and L finally understood how fragile the human mind really was, because despite all the pain and suffering Kira had put him through, deep down he was feeling _sorrow_ at the prospect of killing someone he had once considered his friend. 

Somewhere along the line he had devloped feelings for Light. His mind screamed _'Trauma! Stockholm Syndrome! '_ but his heart said something else. 

Light, not Kira, had broken him in one terribly painful way.

Once upon a time, L had hoped Light would never regain his powers. He'd hoped he and Light could be friends and work together. 

But he'd been proven right and the boy who was his friend died before his eyes the second he touched that Notebook once again.

Light was already dead, and he'd taken L's fledgling sense of trust and fleeting trust with him. 

Killing Kira was nothing compared to _that_... 

*******************

Mikami was terrified. The room was littered with dead bodies but still his Kami continued to kill indiscriminately. He wasn't afraid for his own life. His fate was his god's to decide, but he was afraid for Kira's sanity. 

He groaned in relief as static and then a cold, metallic voice sounded in his ear. 

"Mimami, this is commander Nihal. There has been confirmation that Kira-Sama's pet has been kidnapped by a group of rebels. They have stolen a several bombers and are headed towards the palace. They are heavily armed and are going to extort a ransom for L-Sama's safe return. Please tell Kira-Sama to allow them access to the airspace above the palace. Once L-Sama is secured we will take our vengeance on them!"

"Understood!" Mikami terminated the connection and smiled at Light. It wasn't like he was happy the favourite would be returned safe to them. He was simply relieved that his god's anguish would soon be at an end. "Kami-Sama! L-Sama has been kidnapped by rebels and they are on their way here to negotiate a release deal!"

Light jumped off his throne and immediately ordered the guards to open the doors and let the planes through. He would do nothing to jeopardize L's safety. Once he had him he would unleash hell on his kidnappers. 

Ignoring the dead and dying, Light rushed outside to await the planes. He was filled with murderous rage as he spotted them in the distance. They were nothing but black specks in the clouds but the thought that his pet was on one of them made his heart skip a beat. He'd never leave L alone again, not even for a second. He'd condition him so L didn't want to be left alone again. 

****************

As the helicopter rose into the air L stared down at the devastation below. Flames soared into the sky as the last of the bombs dropped down onto the military complex. The sight of men and women running, screaming, as they burned alive was something that would stay with him forever and haunt him in his dreams.

The planes following were carrying 100 high explosives and L hoped they would be enough to destroy the palace completely. As extra insurance, Mello liberated the military facility of a cash of hand grenades, machine guns and even a flame thrower 'Just in case'

The stench of death and burning human flesh filled his lungs and L had to turn away from the window. Looking at the nightmare below him would only make things worse. There was no point in torturing himself for the images of death and destruction were already burned into his memory. He repeated the Wammy's House words over and over in his mind until he felt himself begin to calm.

"Twenty minutes before we reach the palace" Kiyomi mumbled, her face ashen as she turned her head from the window. "No communications leaked out from the base, save for the one you sent, Mello"

Mello nodded and continued prepping his weaponry. He'd let the bombs do most of the work but he fully intended on letting rip with the guns as well. Kira and his army of deluded puppets deserved to be pumped full of lead. 

As they flew towards the palace L thought about the two years he had spent as Kira's prisoner. The lush green scenery below him seemed unchanged but it felt different to him. He hadn't been outside the palace in such a long time the sight of glistening lakes and forests below him took his breath away. 

He understood what his heirs meant about surviving. If he died with Kira he would never again see the beauty this fractured world had to offer. Death was the easiest solution. It would be far harder to try and live with what had happened and carve something positive out of the despair he felt. 

L knew in his heart his days as a detective were over. The mantle of L would be passed on to not one of the boys but all three of them. 'I think once he is dead I will go away for a while. Somewhere secluded' L's eyes lingered on the forest below longingly. He didn't want to be coddled or treated with kid gloves. He just wanted space and time to try and reconcile with all that had happened. It was a big responsibility he was passing onto his heirs, but he had every confidence in them. Deciding to keep such thoughts to himself, for now, L walked over to Near and sat down next to him. Out of all his heirs, Near was the quietest one who felt things the deepest. He was much like him, a closed book in which feelings and emotions were locked away in ink, never to be spoken about openly. 

"Are you okay?" L felt the need to try, anyway. 

"Fine" Near's tone was flat and his eyes flatter, "You?

"No" L admitted softly. "I don't think I am, Near"

"I'm sorry, L"

L closed his eyes at the quiet monotone voice and found himself wondering if any of them were going to make it out of this nightmare. 

"The Palace is in sight!" 

L scrambled up from his seat, heart racing as he stared at the Gothic monstrosity spreading out before them. In the central courtyard stood Kira. Surrounded by guards, hands by his side and though he could not see it, L knew there would be an arrogant smirk on his face. 

"Wait for the signal" L reminded his heirs (Mello in particular) "Do not open fire until I give the command. I want Light to know it is me who is killing him not the creature he turned me into"

"Got it" Matt shot Mello a meaningful look and the blonde sighed. 

"Oh fine. Soon as the signals given though I'm letting these puppies fly!" Mello patted the grenades next to him affectionately. "Think I'll aim for Mikami first

L grimaced. Mikami. He'd been a tyrant to that man… 

_'Not that he didn't deserve it. He is loyal to Kira even without the collar. He is utterly indoctrinated and I think he even loves him.'_

The planes behind them followed formation and began to descend. L had had the genius idea of writing down six additional names on the small scrap of paper. The pilots would bomb their god's palace before crashing their own planes. 

_'Kamikazes. Death by the ultimate self-sacrifice. Just like what you have done to yourself, Kira. Light doesn't exist anymore, does he? You killed him! '_

They were close enough now for L to see Light's face. That smirk was there, but there was also an emptiness in his eyes. Kira was already dead, after all. Mikami hurried to his god's side as the planes circled the palace grounds. Matt hovered the helicopter, face set in a frown of grim determination, and set his aim. On L's command he would light Kira up. 

"L? Pet?"

L's heart was pounding in his ears as he opened the door and looked down at Kira. 

"Yes, it's me. L. Not your pet" L picked up his collar and threw it down to him. He was transfixed by the way it gleamed in the sunlight. It smashed to the ground at Light's feet. Light bent down slowly and picked it up, a look of incredulity on his face. 

"_Kami_!" Mikami suddenly threw himself in front of Light, face twisted in terror, "Write his name down!"

Light said nothing as he stroked the collar. He was numb with shock… part of him wanted to reach for his Death Note and write down L Lawliet, and yet he couldn't move. It was all he could do to breath as reality crashed down around him. He'd been beaten. He'd _**lost**_... 

"It's over, Kira!" L yelled, tears in his eyes at the blank confusion on Kira's face. He would rather he be screaming and cursing at him. This quiet acceptance was heartbreaking. 

"You never loved me…" Kira finally whispered. Tears fell onto the collar and L let out a soft sob at the tragedy playing out before him. This was supposed to be easy! Why couldn't he give the signal? L stared helplessly down at Kira, his eyes stinging as he fought back tears. 

Ryuk appeared at Light's side, a huge grin on his face as he waved up at L. "Come on then, Lawliet! What ya waiting for?"

L swallowed thickly, his vision blurred with tears. For a moment he could see Light staring up at him. Wide, innocent brown eyes pleading with him to just end it. Time seemed to slow to a standstill as L remembered when Light had been earnest in his pursuit for justice. He had fire in his eyes when the captured Higuchi. L mourned for the person he could have been. Perhaps in a different, kinder life they could have worked together. Maybe even loved one another… 

"Goodbye, Kira... Goodbye, Light" L raised his hand in the agreed signal, and Matt fired the missile. 

Mikami screamed and pushed Light out of the way, his body slamming to the ground.

Colours burst before L's eyes, red and orange as flames engulfed first Mikami and then Kira. Mikami screamed and the guards opened fire, but L was frozen in place. Mikami's arm and leg were torn off, the fleshy stumps flying through the air almost comically. 

Bullets flew through the air but still L couldn't move. Kira was burning. He was dying and he wasn't sure how he felt about it. He wasn't sure how he felt about anything anymore. A sudden urge to just jump from the helicopter gripped him and L stepped forward. 

"No!" Mello grabbed L's hand and pulled him back, "You're in shock! Stay still!"

_'No… I should die too. I feel like I need to die'_

The planes were bombing the place and below people were running and screaming, trapped like ants under a magnifying glass. L stumbled to the window and stared down at the figure of his enemy. Kira was kneeling on the ground, flames licking at his skin. He seemed strangely peaceful, and he struggled to lift his head to look up. Mikami was already dead, his body torn open as it had absorbed most of the blast. 

L squinted as he saw Kira's lips move one last time:

'_I love you_' and then softly, temptingly. '_Die with me, L'_

L screamed and bolted for the door. He had to get to Kira. His instincts were screaming at him to die with him. 

"It's the Nathran! He's withdrawing and it's making him revert backwards!" Kiyomi grabbed L and smashed the butt of her gun as hard as she could into his head. She knew if she didn't disable him he would end his own life and he deserved better than that. L deserved to live. L crumpled to the ground, body twitching and convulsing as his eyes rolled back in his head. Near scrambled to him, pulling his own jumper to drape across him and keep him warm. 

"Kill them all!" Mello commanded, opening fire on the fleeing crowds. Bullets smashed through their bodies and Kira's followers died in their hundreds. The stench of blood and death filled the air and Mello delighted in it. 

Bombs erupted and through the fire and smoke screams of terror and the anguished moans of the dying rang out. 

Kira fell forwards, his blackened, charred body nothing more than a husk. L moaned weakly in his sleep, the drug coursing through his veins poisoning his thoughts. He dreamed of flames licking his skin, of anguished brown eyes and sinisted red ones... 

As chaos erupted all around them, L's heirs worked together to slaughter what remained of Kira's followers and raze his palace to the ground, just as their home had been destroyed. 

"Integrity, Always! Bitches!" Mello screamed as he threw his last grenade. It landed next to Kira's body before blowing it to pieces. Mello smiled in grim satisfaction as. Matt ordered the planes to drop the rest of their bombs and perform their final duty. Kiyomi and her unlikely allies watched as plane after plane suddenly nosedived to the ground. 

"Get us out of here, Matt!" Mello yelled. He could feel the flames heat on his face and it was only a matter of time before the entire structure exploded. Matt steered the helicopter into the air, deftly avoiding the updraughts from the explosions. 

The helicopter rose in the sky, it's occupants the last witnesses alive to Kira's pointless rule. Kira was in pieces, his palace up in flames and his followers dead and yet… 

Near cast a worried look as L began to sweat and ramble in his sleep. 

And yet a part of him lived on in L. Through the terror, the torture and even the sick, twisted love he'd born him, Kira had carved himself not only on L's body but in his soul as well… 

"It's over! We've done it!" Matt grinned as Mello clapped him on the back. Kiyomi burst into tears as Mello suddenly embraced her too. 

Near shook his head sadly and stroked L's hair from his face. '_It's not over. Killing Kira was the easy part. Killing his memory is where the real challenge begins…'_


	17. Unbroken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue: What happened to L, Takada and the heirs? What happened to the world after Kira? What happened to Light's remaining relatives and what happened to the boy who once wanted to be a policeman? What happened to Ryuk? 
> 
> So many questions! 
> 
> Let's find out...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This final chapter has been one of the most difficult pieces of writing I've ever written. Ive tried my hardest to tie up every loose end I could think of, whilst exploring just why the events of Breaking L happened in the first place. Writing this fic has been a challenging, emotional process and I am thrilled at how popular it has become. 
> 
> To everyone who has read, commented and left reviews, THANK YOU so much. I really hope you enjoy the final chapter and find it a fitting end.
> 
> Please do let me know what you think!

24 months had passed since the end of Kira's reign. The world carried on spinning, its people as resilient and as fickle as human nature dictated them to be. Kira's name became a joke. Crime rates soared and L, rather the _new L's_, were once again up to their necks in cases as human nature won out over fear and people reverted back to their old ways. 

Some Kira supporters lingered on the fringes of society, meeting in back rooms and praying to a god that didn't exist, and never _had_ existed save for Light Yagami's own delusion. Matt, Mello and Near pursued them like a hound would a fox. They didn't want to hear that name, didn't want _him_ to hear it, wherever he might be. 

After Kira's fall, L Lawliet had effectively disappeared. He had written his heirs a letter stating they had all inherited his wealth and title as 'L' and that he forfeited everything. He asked that a new Wammy's House be built to house future genii and to continue Watari's legacy. He asked his heirs to be brave and to help guide the world onwards, but also apologized that he could not show the bravery of which he asked them. 

_'If I don't have space to understand and try and reconcile with what has happened I will go mad, or I will die. My mind isn't quiet. I can't focus on anything. I don't even know if I want to survive anymore. I am so sorry for burdening you with this responsibility, but I have every faith in each and everyone of you and that includes you, Kiyomi. _

_I don't know what the future holds, or even if I have one, but I know that you all do, and that you will help the world, and one another, heal. _

_I love you. _

_L'_

Matt had long memorized those words, he didn't even need to look at the letter anymore. The letter L had left for them and then disappeared. He was being treated for Nathran withdrawal when he simply tore out his IV's and slipped out of the hospital room and their lives. 

Possibly forever. 

Matt was startled out of his thoughts when Kiyomi handed him a cup of tea. "You okay?"

Matt noted the dark, purple circles under her eyes and the pallor of her skin. Nathran withdrawal had not been kind to her either, but in the years she had been with them, a steady friendship had grown. Even a love he was hesitant to admit. Kiyomi was 5 years older than him, probably saw him as a kid. She was also part of the 'L' movement now, a living reminder that nothing stays the same. She had once been a fanatical supporter of Kira, and now she was trying to rebuild the world he had left in rubble. 

It was a daily occurrence to ask Kiyomi the question; 'Does he still have numbers above his head?' Whilst showing her one of the very rare photos of L, and daily, Kiyomi would answer 'Yes' and they could all breath for another day, until it was time to ask once more. 

Matt was comforted that wherever he was at least L was alive. Where there was life, there was hope, and he had to believe that one day L would return to them. 

"Yeah" Matt uttered a humourless laugh, "Well, no, but… you know"

Kiyomi smiled thinly. She did know. It was all they could do to just take things one day at a time and maintain hope. As long as L had numbers above his head there was hope. It didn't matter if L never wanted to solve another case again, all that mattered to the three young men before them was that he came home safe. 

'_Even if you can't come home, reach out to them, L. They need to hear from you_' Kiyomi thought as she reached out for Matt's hand. 

Matt smiled at her. Perhaps his feelings weren't so strange after all... 

********************

**(2 years earlier) **

"He's stable" Near announced as he hooked up the last of many monitors to L's limp hand. "Takada-San, I am aware you are suffering from withdrawal too, but it is imperative we understand Nathran in order to treat L… and you"

Kiyomi nodded, her voice scarcely a whisper as she explained Nathran would leave the body organically and that withdrawal would last a long time. "L's in a state of shock, it isn't the Nathran that's caused his body to give out on him" she explained softly, "It's his _mind_"

After hours of sitting by L's bedside and the realization he wasn't going to wake up anytime soon, the three heirs and Kiyomi retired to their makeshift home. The world was in a state of chaos, parades of joy and riots of anger clashed in the streets as Kira's death was announced the world over. Using Watari's contacts, Matt had secured them a private suite in a small, private hospital Watari had founded for the use of Wammy's House children. They were safe here, and the staff, handpicked by Watari himself, knew better than to reveal their identities to anyone. 

Sleep eventually wore them down, and it was while they slept that L awoke. 

At first, he was confused as he realised where he was. He'd been dreaming that he was at the palace and that Kira was holding a soaking wet rag over his face. He'd been drowning, slowly drowning, and his body shook with fear. 

Realization washed over him as he fought for breath. Kira was _dead_. He'd killed Kira. 

_'Light…'_

The beeps of the machine and the fear and adrenaline coursing through his veins made him jittery and nervous. He couldn't move! L yanked the drips and lines from his skin, scarcely feeling the sting of pain in his need to free himself. 

He couldn't stay. He couldn't meet his heirs eyes anymore. When they looked at him, who did they see? Did they see their Mentor and older brother or did they see Kira's pet? 

He didn't feel like neither of those people anymore. He felt utterly numb. 

An image of that forest flashed before his eyes and L knew what he had to do. He had to get to Aokigahara. He'd ever find himself in those trees or lose himself in them but he couldn't stay here.

L dressed in whatever clothes he could find and took a moment to write a letter to his boys, before he walked out of the hospital and into a darkness that felt like home… 

*********************

_"Light-Kun, do you just want to be a Police Officer because of your father? Or has it always been something you've wanted to do?" Ryuzaki asked as they sat on the ledge of the Kira Task Force building, admiring another glorious sunset. _

_Light turned to him in surprise and L realised he appeared a little offended. "Sure, my father's job has probably influenced me a little bit but I've always wanted to be a police officer. Even when I was a toddler I went around dressed up as a policeman. Heh… Mum said I arrested the cat once because it was meowing too much!" Light smiled at the memory, a hint of embarrassment on his face. He wasn't sure why he told Ryuzaki that, but it was worth it to see the smile that lit up the other man's face. _

_In a rare, unguarded, moment, L giggled, his eyes sparkling with delight as he imagined his friend as a child, little rubber truncheon in hand as he yelled at a cat. "So Light-Kun has always been a paragon of justice!"_

_Light didn't reply, but he did reach for L's hand and squeezed it in his own. "When I was a teenager you were my idol, you know?"_

_L snorted. "You **are** a teenager, Light-Kun" he reminded. _

_"Well, yes. Fine, when I was younger then. My dad would always talk about the cases you solved and I decided I would be a Detective like you and make the world a better place one day. But I also remember feeling sad because even as a kid, deep down I knew that no one could just change the world like that"_

_L slowly traced the smooth skin of Light's hand with his thumb. It felt nice having a hand to hold. "I don't know, Light-Kun, maybe one day you will… "_

Then another dream, another memory, of that same boy but with a twisted face and mocking laugh. No. Not the same boy. He was Kira now and he was storming the Task Force HQ. L didn't want to remember but it seemed his brain wasn't done torturing him. In vivid detail he saw Watari forced to kneel. He tried to scream out to him and reach him but it was too late. The dagger was in his stomach and his insides were spilling out onto the floor and-

"Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!"

L's hoarse scream of terror startled birds from their nests and rang through the eerily quiet forest. L sat up, eyes wide and heart thudding in his chest as the gory vision of Watari's death faded from him mind. The pain still lingered, however, and L found his eyes filling with tears at the haunted look in his old friend's kind blue eyes. 

L sucked in lungfuls of oxygen as he tried to calm himself down. Even when he was asleep he was not free from him. Light and Kira haunted his dreams and like a pendulum he swung from one to the other. Memories of his friend (and secret crush) Light, and memories of his Tormentor and 'Master', Kira. 

The birds returned to their trees, silent and foreboding as they stared down at him doss passionately. Crows. Magpies. Jackdoors. 

All clarion eaters. Was that why they stayed in this forest? To feast on the lost souls who strung themselves up or found oblivion in the bottom of a pill bottle? Would they feast on him? 

L wasn't sure. He'd gathered supplies from the nearby village and dreamed up an elaborate story about being a geologist conducting tests on the volcanic soil in the area. Every once in a while he returned to the village to replenish his supplies, have a shower and seek out some form of human contact. He'd even tried renting a flat and living there but within three days he was compelled to return to the silence and solitude of the 'sea of trees'

L smiled grimly as he remembered the weather-beaten novel he'd found. It was the infamous novel 'The Sea of Trees' and a controversial Japanese cult classic about two young lovers who committed suicide in Aokigahara. 

L found nothing romantic in suicide. It was a desperate act committed by those who genuinely believed they had no way out of their suffering. L didn't want to commit suicide but he had yet to discover a way out of his suffering, hence, the option was still on the table. 

Each time he thought about just putting that small revolver he'd bought into his mouth an image of his brothers flashed through his mind and gave him pause. It would destroy them. He knew it would. 

And yet… 

L sighed and curled back up in his tent. He'd try and sleep some more and lose himself to oblivion that way… 

**********************

**(Present day) **

He wasn't sure why he did this to himself, but every few months Matt would search for 'Yagami' on his laptop. Kiyomi told him not to, but he did it anyway. The results never changed. Articles upon articles about Light 'Kira' Yagami, newspaper reports about the 'tragic' suicide of Sachiko Yagami. _'Can you imagine being the mother of Kira? Her shame was what killed her, the poor dear!'_ and the callous act of Patricide Light had committed when he'd killed the Task Force to abduct L. 

That was all old, sad, news. What Matt was really keeping an eye on was any updates on Sayu Yagami's condition. She had been institutionalized following a mental breakdown and her mother's suicide. Apparently she was kept doped up for her own safety and lived in a world where her family were all still alive and her brother had never been a serial killer with a god complex. Her therapists didn't know how to break into this 'reality' she had made for herself, or even if they should anymore. 

Matt sighed and pushed his laptop away from him. He felt irritated at his need to keep digging open old wounds. All the cases in the world couldn't distract him from the pain he felt at L's absence. L's 26th birthday was fast approaching and he wondered if he and Mello would end up like they did last year: Drunken messes with tears and snot on their faces as they reminiscent and tried to find the strength to go on for another year. 

_'I know you felt the need to find seclusion, L, I could see it in your eyes as you stared down at the forest, but you're such a selfish bast-'_

Matt's eyes flew open in sudden realization. L was in _Aokigahara_! 

"Near!" Matt scrambled from his desk and rushed over to the white-haired man. Despite being 21, Near still resembled a child as he sat curled in his chair, clad in pyjamas and twiddling his hair. 

"Yes, Matt?" Near asked, all placid eyes and smooth, glass like features. 

"I know where L is!"

Near nodded. "As do I. However, knowing where he is isn't going to bring him back to us. That is something he must choose for himself"

Matt defeated at the words and swallowed down the bitter taste of defeat. Of course Near would have solved the puzzle of L's whereabouts faster than he did. 

"If it's any consolation, I've often thought about going there and trying to bring him back too" Near admitted in a soft voice, his eyes pleading with his brother to understand, "But I fear it would only drive him further away. L went there to be alone and that is what he needs. I believe only time and space will allow him to heal from what has happened to him, and we have to give him that chance, Matt. We owe that to him"

Matt sighed and nodded his head. "You're right… " he finally admitted. 

Wordlessly, Near held out his hand and Matt squeezed it in his own, silent understanding passing between them. 

The moment was broken when Mello stormed into the office, looking rather bedraggled and pissed off. 

"Bloody kids! I swear to fucking god I don't know why we even bothered founding this place full of fucking _hell spawn_!" Mello stalked over to the drinks trolley and grabbed some napkins to clean the snot and paint off his hands and face. "Look after the children, Mello, it will be fine, Mello" he mocked Kiyomi as he rubbed at his skin. Kiyomi shot him a shit-eating grin, amused as always by his dramatics, "Do I look fine to you?!"

Matt bit his lip, a grin threatening to break across his face as the dramatic man flounced over to them, hands on hips and fury in his eyes. 

"When L gets back here I am going to kick his ass for asking this of us! 'Found another Wammy's House, Mello'" Mello deepened his voice to imitate L's and something amazing happened. Everyone busted up laughing (even Near!) at the impression. 

It was _healing_. 

***********************

L was paying for his groceries when he realised what day it was. October 30th. The day before his 26th birthday. 

He lingered in the store as a segment about Kira came up on the news. It was being debated as to whether Kira's reign should be taught in school or be whitewashed over. 

"Well, I mean, it's part of history now, ain't it?" The man standing next to L said, eyes fixed to the screen. "Future generations need to know about this stuff. We need to remember the dead and remind ourselves why it can never happen again. You ain't gonna get that just be whitewashing shit and pushing stuff under the carpet. You've got to confront it!"

L turned wide eyes to the man, his heart pounding as those words washed over him. '_You've got to confront it!'_ Suddenly, it made sense. 

"I've got to go" L suddenly blurted out, face pale as he left half of his shopping on the counter. 

"Huh? Back up to the forest? You know, a few of us have been worried about you, Ryuzaki, camped up on those woods for months on end-"

L barely heard the words. He was already walking to the door. "Thank you for your concern. My research has been concluded and I won't be back" 

"Huh? Where are you going then?"

L turned to the man with a ghost of a smile on his lips. "Home"

It felt like a dream. He booked a flight to England, with no luggage and no real clue as to where his boys actually where. All he had was a burning conviction that he was ready now. That old man's words had struck him. They'd reminded him of something Watari had once said to him as a boy. 

Once, L had fretted about about his fear of getting something wrong, of jepordizing a case. Watari had ruffled his hair and told him there was no shame in being afraid, and that even the World's Greatest Detective was not immune to being wrong or afraid. 

_'What is important, my boy, is that you confront those fears head on. It may not be straight away. You may run and hide from them for a while, but you must face them eventually. And f you can do that, you can do anything…'_

L lowered his head, his overgrown and unruly hair hiding his eyes as he cried silently, tears coursing down his face as the plane rose into the sky above Japan. 

He would never see Japan again. He was going home, to his boys and to confront his fear. 

He was done hiding. 

Sleep eventually fell over him and L sank into it gratefully, a small smile on his face as he dreamed of running through the maze that once stood on the grounds of Wammy's House. He knew if he turned left, then right, then right, then left and kept going straight forward he would arrive at the fountain. He'd memorized every twist and turn and yet it still thrilled him to explore. 

He hoped he would find Watari sitting there and waiting for him with a proud smile and a piece of cake as a reward. 

As he followed the path his footsteps echoed in his ears, gravel crunching loudly with each step. Closer and closer he got, until the very tip of the fountain was in sight. L ran the rest of the way but suddenly stopped, his eyes widening in surprise at who he found waiting for him. 

"Light?!"

'_What the hell? I know this is a dream! This isn't real so why is he here?'_ L thought as he cautiously approached. Light looked younger, softer, than he remembered him. 

There didn't appear to be that cold hardness he possessed when he was Kira. His eyes were not red and his face wasn't twisted up in a cruel and mocking smile. 

"L" Light's eyes glowed at the sight of him. "You came! Thank you…"

"Huh? What do you mean 'I came?' This is my dream!" L replied, utterly baffled as to what was going on. He wasn't sure if he wanted to wake up or not. 

"No, L, I brought you here. This place doesn't exist. I guess it's hard to take in but right now you're in the spirit realm with me. I used Wammy's House because I knew you'd be open to it-"

"Even now! Even now you're trying to manipulate me?!" L was horrified at the way his voice broke. "I thought you were Light not Kira!"

Sadness flashed in those stunning amber eyes. "I am Light. Kira's dead. The Notebooks hold over me is gone. I'm myself again, and you are the one who saved me. I wanted to thank you, L. I'm not excusing myself… or him, from what happened to you. I wish none of it happened" tears fell from Light's eyes as he shook his head. "I wish I had never found the Death Note. Even though it led me to you I would rather have not met you. The Death Note... Changed me"

L swallowed thickly, hesitant and unsure as he approached the crying figure on the bench. "Kira tried to break me" 

Light smiled sadly. "Kira should have known better than that. _Nothing_ can break you, L… I can't keep you here long. I just wanted to let you know how proud I am that your going home and… answer your question"

L bit his lip. His question was the same as always. When did Light die? Did he die the second he picked up the Notebook? Or did he die along with Kira in that inferno? Was their friendship ever real or was that feigned? Did Light ever look up to him… and was it Light who held his hand up on the roof? 

"I was still myself when I first picked up the Death Note. I killed those first few petty criminals. By the time Raye Penbar died I was no longer in control. I didn't regain myself until Kira forfeited the notebook. Everything I said and felt for you then was real, L. I didn't remember who I was but deep down I knew I loved you. When I regained the Notebook its influence overwhelmed me. I died then. My love for you transferred to Kira and… and I am so sorry that it did. I'm so sorry for the things… oh _god_"

L felt helpless as Light broke down in tears. There was still so much he didn't understand. Was it possible the Death Note could possess someone that badly? That it could actually transform them into a darker version of themselves… 

"I need to speak to Ryuk" L finally mumbled, "I need to understand"

Light weakly nodded his head. "Yes. You have to talk to Ryuk. You have to end it for good. Destroy it for me, L"

"... How?"

Light smiled through his tears, "The same way you destroyed Kira... I have to go now... I love you, L..."

The plane hit turbulence and L jolted awake, eyes wide and unseeing as he looked for Light. 

L slumped against the chair and rubbed his face. _'Fuck. I'm so messed up. Was that even real? I need to speak to Ryuk…'_

But how did one go about summoning a Shinigami, anyway? 

*********************

Mello was making a hasty retreat from costumed, sugar-high children when he spotted the bedraggled figure slowly walking up the path to 'Wammy's House' 

He was Instantly on alert. Who ever it was had overiden their security. There was only one person who could do that and he… 

Mello squinted, analysing that shuffling walk and that dark, bowed head. 

"L?" He whispered, barely believing his eyes as the figure suddenly stopped and lowered the hood of his hoodie. His hair was longer, his face was haunted and haggard but it was, without a single doubt, L. 

"L!" Mello broke into a run, shoving the kids aside roughly as he ran out of the foyer doors and into the rain. "L! You bastard! You fucking _bastard_ it's you!"

L managed a small smile. "Hello, Mello. I've missed you too"

Pandemonium erupted as the news spread that L, the L, had finally returned home. Near and Matt rushed outside, overjoyed as they ran to their mentor, clinging to him as they fell to the floor. The sheer emotion of the reunion was simply too much to keep them on their feet. 

Between sobs and sniffles, L kissed each boy's-Man's head. "I've missed you all so much. I am sorry. I am so sorry I had to leave you"

"Shut up, we'll chew you out about that later" Mello mumbled as he nuzzled into L's arms, "Just glad you're back! We were starting to lose hope"

L sighed and gently pulled Mello out of his arms. He tapped his nose, just as he always used to when Mello was a child, and shook his head. "Watari always said the worst thing anyone can do is abandon hope, Mello"

Matt burst into tears and the tearful reunion continued until Kiyomi yanked open the door and whistled. 

"Boys! Get in out of the rain and have your heartfelt reunion indoors before you all catch your death!"

L looked up sharply, amazed to see Kiyomi Takada, former right hand woman and pet of Kira, standing with her arms folded and a matronly expression of disapproval on her face. 

Wordlessly, they climbed to their feet and filed into the house as if they were scolded children. Kiyomi barked an order for the curious children surrounding her (and trying to get a look at L) to return to their party. With disappointed grumbles, they retreated, and L knew Kiyomi Takada was a force to be reckoned with in this new Wammy's House. 

"Kiyomi…" L didn't know what to say to her. He brushed wet strands of hair out of his eyes and sighed when she pulled him into a hard embrace. 

"We'll talk later. Let's find you some clean clothes and get you fed. I can feel your bones, L" Kiyomi hurdles the dripping young men upstairs to wash up and get changed. There would be time to talk later, when everyone had been fed and were no longer dripping water all over the floor. 

Much as he had done with Watari, L let himself be looked after by Kiyomi. She stayed right outside the bathroom door as he had a bath and she even cut off the ratty ends of his overgrown hair. She did all of this in silence, pain in her eyes as she saw just how fragile the former detective was. 

_'I will help build you up again, L. I can't change the past but I can help you face the future'_

Once he was clean, dry and fed, L, Kiyomi and his heirs locked themselves in HQ for privacy and a long overdue talk. Kiyomi hoped the childcare assistants could handle their rowdy charges, but she had more important things to concern herself with. 

Slowly, over tea and hesitant, tearful pauses, L began to talk about his two years in the forest… 

***********************

**(2 years later) **

L was on his usual morning walk through the woods when a Death Note slapped onto the path in front of him. L stared at it for several long moments before he bent and picked it up. 

"Hello, Ryuk" he greeted, without even doubting who the Shinigami was. Ryuk giggled and poked his head out from around a tree trunk. 

"Damn, there's no getting one past you, is there, Lawliet?"

L kept his face blank. "What do you want, Ryuk? Have you been watching me? I've been trying to find a way to contact you for years, you know"

Ryuk shrugged. "I've been around. Went to Sayu's funeral last year. Like mother like daughter, eh? " he mimed someone hanging themselves and L felt physically sick. 

_'Of course he has no respect. He is a god of death. Our trauma and sadness is simply amusement to him'_

"Why have you finally decided to show yourself?" L asked firmly, "If you think I will use this… thing you are out of your mind" now that she was in his mind, L couldn't stop thinking about poor Sayu Yagami. Therapy had broken through to her, and just as L had feared when he'd read her notes and tried to reach out to her, the dissolution of her safe fantasy world had been her undoing. The poor thing had been broken by the truth whereas he had been freed by it. 

Ryuk snorted, cutting through his thoughts, "You have used it. Remember Lighto?"

L's face hardened. "It wasn't him I killed that day… but you know that. Tell me, Ryuk, how much influence does a Death Note have over a person? How much of Kira was in Light all along?"

Ryuk cocked his head. "Those are some pretty heavy questions, Lawliet. One apple for one question answered"

L huffed but nodded his head, morning walk abandoned as he turned on his heel and headed back to the orphanage. As soon as he was inside his office, he grabbed three apples from his fruit bowel. Three apples, three questions. 

L tossed the Shinigami the first apple. "Question 1: how much of Light was in Kira during my captivity. Was that Light? Or am I simply trying to excuse him for what he did?"

Ryuk munched slowly on the apple, savouring the crisp taste. He hadn't had a decent apple in years. It was just one of the things he missed about dear old Kira. 

"Weeeell. The human mind is a pretty complex thing" Ryuk began, perching himself on L's desk. "You see, when a human uses the Death Note for a prolonged period of time it changes them. Makes them give in to their base desires and want to hurt and kill" Ryuk's teeth gleamed as he leaned towards the young man. "It basically turns em into human Shinigami!"

L stared hard at Ryuk, hope blossoming in his heart. "So what you are telling me is that by the time of my capture… Light was gone and it was all Kira?"

Ryuk shook his head. "No. Light was still there, he just couldn't do anything. Think of it like locked in syndrome. Every time Kira was being nice to you or you saw a flicker in his eyes? That was your boy, Lighto!"

L covered his mouth with his hand, tears welling in his eyes. "So he loved me? He loved me once?"

Ryuk scoffed and held out a hand for the second apple. L handed it over to him at once. 

"Oh yeah, he loved you" Ryuk cackled, "One time he had this wet dream about you and came all over himself. He was all 'Oooh L, ride me!' 

L flushed in embarrassment. Ever since his… Captivity had ended he had remained celibate. To suddenly hear something like this was something of a shock. When he and Light had been friends L had found him attractive and had been questioning if he had a crush on him. It seemed Light was well ahead of him on that front… 

"Kira loved you as well because Light did but… heh, his love wasn't exactly the rainbow and roses kind, was it?"

L narrowed his eyes at the Shinigami's flippant tone. "No, I suppose torture, drugging, bondage, rape and emotional, mental and physical assault isn't what one could describe as 'Rainbow and roses'" he grit out through clenched teeth. 

"Nope! Well anyways, last question, Sprout!" 

L bit his lip. He had so many questions it was hard to just choose one. He slowly handed the apple over, his eyes fixed on Ryuk's face. "Is his soul at rest?"

Ryuk burst into laughter, bits of chewed up apple spraying everywhere. "_That's_ what you care about? Seriously? Are you forgetting the years of wearing a collar or something, Kid?"

"I can never forget _that_, but since we have ascertained that was not solely Light's doing I'd like to know. Is his soul at peace? Or is he being… I don't know, tortured for his crimes?" L had a flashback to a class on Dante's Inferno and shuddered. He'd never believed in the Christian doctrine or of heaven and hell, but then he'd never believed in Shinigami or notebooks that could kill either… 

"No. In death all humans are equal. It doesn't matter what you've done, you all go to Mu" Ryuk tapped the notebook with a finger, "Are you gonna keep hold of it or not?"

L shook his head. He wanted to say he didn't want it but Light's words were ringing in his mind_. 'Destroy it. The same way you killed me...' _

Fire! 

Ryuk rolled his bulbous eyes. "I've got one more question I could answer for you. I'll give this one to you on the house. Do you want to know why I chose Light Yagami and encouraged Kira to kidnap you?"

L felt his bile rise in his throat. "Tell me"

Ryuk's evil grin, just like how he felt when the cold collar first snapped around his neck, would stay with him forever. "Because I was **_bored_**"

L slowly stood up and his eyes darkened as he spotted a lighter Matt had left on his desk. "Is that so…" L snatched the lighter, flicked it and grabbed the Death Note. "Tell me something else, Ryuk. If I burn this Death Note will you be trapped here? Or will you _die_?!"

Ryuk's eyes bulged and he tried to scrabble for the book. It was his. The spare he had given Kira had been burnt with him. If Lawliet burnt his Death Note he'd die! He wouldn't be able to return to the Shinigami realm. 

"Don't-"

"This is for me and for Light, for my heirs. For everyone who _suffered_ and _died_ because you **WERE FUCKING BORED, RYUK!"** L screamed as the Notebook burst into flames. 

Ryuk screeched, his legs crumbling to dust beneath him. L heard footsteps running to his office but couldn't turn his eyes away from the panicking dying Shinigami. 

"L, what-" Kiyomi's words died in her throat as she watched Ryuk crumble to dust before her eyes. L held onto the burning Death Note, a smile on his face as he locked eyes with Ryuk one last time.

"Goodbye, Ryuk"

One last flicker of panic and then those ugly, bulbous eyes were nothing but black ash. 

"Now it is over" L let out a shaky breath and turned to his heirs. They were struck by the joy on his face. "And now we can heal"

******************

It was summer, six months after he had burnt the Death Note, and L was sat on the grass. Before him were two monuments. One was to honor Watari's memory, the other Light's. 

He was nearing 30 now, and those 10 years since he'd first met Light and got involved in the Kira investigation were written in the shadows under his eyes and the premature streaks of grey that occasionally gleamed through the black lustre of his hair.

L ran his hands over the springy, lush grass as he enjoyed the gentle summer breeze. It was something he, at one point, feared he'd never feel again. 

"Hi, Watari, Light. I'm sorry I didn't come down to talk to you sooner but the boys have been trying to get me involved in cases. Again. But I've finally decided what I am going to do. There's a boy, you see. His name is Mark and he wants to be a police officer one day… I'm going to teach him. I'm going to teach all of the orphans here to never give up hope and pursue their dreams. I think you'd like him, Light, he dressed up as a policeman for his birthday…"

L smiled as he plucked up a few blades of grass. He'd once felt silly for talking to the monuments. Until Light had appeared to him in another dream and thanked him for doing it. Light hadn't been alone. Watari had been with him… 

"Anyway… what else… " L racked his brains. "Mello's in Russia right now on a case. Near's still here, _obviously_ and get this; Kiyomi and Matt are _dating_. I know, it's crazy but they're happy. Really happy." 

L finally reached over to place the roses on each monument. That was the whole reason he'd come down here. As he continued to talk to the souls of the two people who had shaped his entire life (for good _and_ bad) he had a funny thought. 

One day his own monument would be standing here, perhaps even where he sat. He didn't know when that day would come but he hoped it wasn't any time soon. He had something to live for now. He had hope again. 

L already knew what would be inscribed on his monument. 

L Lawliet;

_**Unbroken**_. 


	18. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Light and L meet up in Mu...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For Elthorian ❤

L Lawliet lived until the not-so-ripe old age of 67, and yet, to L it felt like an achievement, especially after the life he'd lived and the terrible things he had endured. 

As he lay dying, L contemplated his life. Mark had become a fine Police Officer, and was L's prodigy. The boy (man, L reminded himself) reminded him so much of Light in his younger, innocent days. His final thought had been of Light, the man who had once been his captor, his lover, his nemesis and, before all that, his friend. Would he see him again in the beyond? L suspected he would as he'd met Light and Watari in that strange dream realm several times over the years, and he longed to finally join them permanently and be at peace. 

L died with weariness in his heart, and yet he was happy. Matt, Kiyomi and their children had been around him, as had Mello and Near. 

Surrounded by those he loved, L had closed his eyes for the last time and slipped quietly from the world… 

**********************

When he next gained (regained?) consciousness, L found himself in a beautiful walled garden. He breathed deeply, the scent of Roses and Gardenia filling up his senses. The sun was shining and it's warmth felt like a soothing caress on his skin. L lifted a hand to touch his face and startled at the sight of it. 

His wrinkles were gone! 

'I'm… young again?' L touched his face and confirmed that yes, he was indeed youthful once more as the deep lines around his eyes were gone. 'Perhaps one returns to their youth when they enter… what is this place again, ah yes, Mu'

L looked around himself and wondered where Light and Watari were. Surely they were supposed to meet him? 

Birdsong hung in the air and L watched as a bumblebee past him, the little creature busy collecting nectar. He would have been in paradise if he wasn't alone. 

"Oh, L!" A soft voice full of wonder and longing rang out. 

L sucked in a breath at that voice and slowly turned around to see Light walking towards him. 

Light was dressed in plain black slacks and a simple white shirt. He wore no shoes or socks on his feet but to L he had never looked more beautiful. L bit his lip as he remembered the Kira regalia and the cold, haughty look in those amber brown eyes. 

Now Light looked like himself again. His real self. 

"Light" L whispered, not entirely sure what to say. It had been different in the dream realm, it hadn't been permanent and L had known he could wake up. Now he was in Mu with Light forever… 

Light padded towards him but stopped a meter or so away, as if sensing L did not want to be touched. It was unsurprising really, considering what he'd done to him. 

'No. What Kira did to him' Light corrected himself, dearly wishing he could feel L in his arms. Maybe one day he would? He had a lot of trust to rebuild and they had much to talk about.  
'It's a good thing we have forever'

They stared at each other for several long minutes before Light cleared his throat and held out his hand. 

L narrowed his eyes. Was he playing some trick or-

"I can never apologize enough for what happened to you, L, but… I was hoping we could at least try and be friends like we used to be. Before… everything"

L smiled grimly. Before everything was a somewhat fitting statement. The K brand on his hip seemed to burn and L resisted the urge to touch it. "I… will try," L said slowly. He still had feelings for Light, he could never deny those feelings, but standing before him once again left him feeling shaken. 

L reached out and took Light's hand in his. Light's skin was as warm and soft as he remembered… 

"Thank you, L" Light's eyes were a soft, warm brown and L bit his lip as conflicting emotions welled up inside him. All the pain, the misery and the shame came rushing back to him and he lowered his eyes. 'That wasn't him. Not wholly. Kira and the Death Note twisted the love Light had for me' L reminded himself. 

Another long moment passed before Light let his hand drop. He'd expected this lukewarm response, of course he had, but he couldn't help but feel disappointed all the same. Maybe he should have appeared to L in more dreams? He'd watched over him all his life and had been there when he died, but perhaps that hadn't been enough. 

Perhaps the pain from the past was simply too vast of an ocean for them to traverse? 

"... Light. What does one do in Mu?" L asked quietly as he wandered over to a bench and sat down. When he realised Light wasn't sure if he could approach, L patted the empty space next to him. 

Light sat down and offered L a relieved smile. "You can do whatever you want in Mu. Time moves differently here. Whole centuries pass by so quickly… but I admit, I've found it difficult waiting for you. Not that I wanted you to die or anything. Fuck, that came out wrong… "

L found himself slightly charmed at Light's unease and bumbling. He'd never really seen Light unsure of what to say. In the golden glow of the garden, Light looked just as he had during the Yotsuba Investigation- innocent. 

"I understand what you mean" L clasped his hands together, anxiety and nervousness making him want to wring them together. Through sheer force of will, he resisted. 

"Your monument was beautiful" Light suddenly murmured, "Unbroken… it just sums you up, doesn't it?"

L smiled at the compliment. "I suppose it does"

The conversation was stilted but, as time went by, L and Light found words flowing more freely between them. By the time the sun (or what L assumed to be an illusion of the sun) was beginning to set, L could almost believe that with enough time and healing between them they would once again be friends. 

Maybe more… one day…

**Author's Note:**

> ❤ Please don't forget to feed the Authors! ❤
> 
> Find me on Tumblr: xxanotherlostsoulxx


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